[One shot] 一人にしないで
Title: 一人にしないで (Don't leave me alone)Author: tsuchi8562
Beta: yuuki_saya <-- ArigaPYON!!!
Pairing: SakurAiba (a little bit of JunBa)
Genre: romance
Rating: PG-15
Disclaimer: I don't own them, no matter how much I want it!
Summary: Sho thinks that it's over, but is it?
A/N: Inspired by few things: my little conversation with xxdaviexx , The training camp and NepLeague 3H SP.
WARNING! It contains many spoilers of Arashi's Training Camp from the recent DVD! If you didn't watch it and don't want any spoilers DON'T READ IT!
The end. This was the only explanation of this whole situation. If not, then why the love of his life is acting that way?
Sakurai sighed and closed his eyes. Recently things with Aiba didn’t go well, miracle boy seemed to be cold and more withdrawn, spending most of the time with the rest of members. Something was apparently wrong, but every attempt to explain this strange behavior ended with a lie. ‘I’m OK!’ ‘Nothing has changed.’ ‘You’re imagining it!’ Sho had enough of this denials, but he couldn’t receive any other answer. The rapper even asked Nino about it, but brat claimed that he didn’t notice anything and in his own bratty way said that this is not his business. That was partly right, it was Masaki’s and the caster’s private matter and, what was the most important, it couldn’t affect on the band. That’s why Sakurai just stopped trying to resolve this problem, even if it got worse... One day Aiba just started to allege from making love. First there were permanent headaches, then simple tiredness and now he was just saying ‘no’... After that Masaki started to go to his apartment straight from the studio; he was turning down any Sho’s offer to go to the dinner together and even stopped answering his calls. That was something he couldn’t stand anymore. He was craving for miracle boy’s touch, kisses, quiet giggles while having sex, cuddling... He missed Masaki’s calm breath while sleeping, hearing his heartbeat next to his, Aiba’s messy hair after waking up... Damn, he even missed that dirty plushie Aiba was sleeping with! It can’t be over, not now, not in that way... He will talk to him at the camping, for sure... He will...
***
Sakurai noticed something right from the start of they trip: Aiba didn’t sit next to him as always. He lodged between MatsuJun and Nino, barely looking at him through all ride... Of course they were shooting a documentary for the DVD, so he couldn’t do anything but smile and laugh, feeling cold pain inside. He definitely have to talk to his beloved man, when he’ll find the opportunity; it’ll be quite the challenge with all those cameras and with other 3 people in the room, but he has to at least try...
The futons arrangement was his enemy, four of them lying real close to each other, and one was a bit distant. Sho thought for a little while that this is how he feels right now... Put aside a bit, not only by Masaki, but by everybody because of their lack of interest. It was obvious that they will decide who will get the lonesome futon by janken. The rapper was really strong in that game, and it was obvious that he will win; he chose his bed according to his feelings, encouraged by other members (especially Aiba)... Was Sakurai’s presence close beside miracle boy so unpleasant? Cameras were shooting, so he couldn’t show his true face.
Luckily (really? was it lucky or maybe Jun wanted to be simply polite?!) Matsumoto offered setting all futons together. Masaki just helped him to push it to the wall, and remained silent, quickly jumping under the blanket. Things didn’t go well, even if he was next to love of his life, nothing changed. Miracle boy moved away ever time when the caster tried to hug him or just touch him. That cold behavior was painful, and Sho was really close to tears, but in the end he didn’t cry. He has to be strong, it was still training camp that should strengthen them; he promised himself to be strong no matter what, even if he loses Masaki.
The sound of alarm clock was invading his ears, but he didn’t move. He pushed away all the sad thoughts and tried to focus on today’s training. It will test his courage; everybody knows about his acrophobia. Sakurai remembered the promise, and regarding his fear he managed to overcome it and reach the finish line with pride written on his face (more or less). Although the fact that it was Ninomiya who was cheering him the loudest made him dispirited.
That was the time, just before recording, he has to talk with his Masaki and explain everything.
“Aiba-chan? Can we talk for a bit?” The rapper asked shyly.
“Not now, I am tired, Sakurai-san”
Sakurai-san?! Where is his usual ‘Sho-chan’? Is it really that bad? Is it really the end? The caster was speechless, grasping the air rapidly with madness written on his face. He was mad at himself, at Masaki, at this whole situation. He didn’t knew what was going on or whether it was just a plain nightmare. He had no idea what was going on. The taller man wanted to pass him, but he stopped him.
“Masaki, what happened? Don’t you love me anymore? Why are you acting so cold? Did I do something? Tell me, please! Tell me how can I fix it!”
“Too many questions... You’re not a journalist here, Sakurai-san. Now, leave me alone, I am tired.” Miracle boy took his arm out of Sho’s hand and walked in unknown direction, leaving shocked rapper in the hallway.
“Don’t so this, Masaki...” The older man whispered. “Don’t leave me alone...”
***
The studio was cosy and comfortable, reminding the one from ‘Everything’ PV. That song was in Sho’s mind all day, especially one verse...「この夕立の中で一人」- ‘alone in this evening shower’ … Alone... Lonely...
After the break Sakurai was heading back to the studio, when he saw something surprising. His beloved man was smiling, talking with Matsumoto. He looked just like when he was with Sho, of course before that mysterious behavior. Seeing happy Aiba, wandering with Jun was the most painful. This whole tiredness was a simple lie; Sho didn’t see his lover that full of energy for ages. It was so depressing that he couldn’t bare it. Fortunately he could focus on recording, it was his job after all. He couldn’t mess it up because of his personal affairs, that would be even worse.
Recording went smoothly, even Masaki didn’t mess up the lyrics as always, but Sakurai still didn’t feel well. How could he, when even with Aiba standing close to him, he could feel coldness flying from his left side?
“It can’t be the end! Not like this!” The rapper repeated to himself in mind.
There was still time before second part of the work, so Sakurai thought that he may talk to Aiba again, this time calmer and without so many questions. It was obvious that Masaki will defend himself from that avalanche. The rapper wanted to say something, while Riidaa was playing the piano, but he couldn’t do it; not in front of everybody, so he just remain silent. Suddenly Jun asked him to play the piano. He didn’t do that for a long time, but somehow he really looked forward to do it. Maybe this will relax him a bit? Hastily miracle boy changed a bit. Sakurai could feel Aiba’s glance on his back, what made him feel more comfortable and secure. The caster’s fingers hit the keys, and beautiful melody of 「果てない空」resounded in the room. It was really long time since he played the piano, so obviously it wasn’t pefrect; he wasn’t proud of this particular performance, but Masaki’s ‘bravo’ and gentle warm smile made him feel beyond happy. This was the moment, when everything can be repaired; that was the proof that his lover still has some feelings for him. Just a bit more, a little more and he will be able to talk with him on private, explain everything and maybe this nightmare will over! That gave him the power and strength to finish the recording in no time.
Making some barbecue together was really great idea, but the willingness of talking with Aiba alone eclipsed full of happiness. Seeing miracle boy’s lousy attempt to start a fire was funny, and soon Sakurai calmed down, stating to enjoy their time together unreservedly. Everybody had their task, and Jun was responsible for the meat. Everything seemed to be OK, until MatsuJun started to treat the members with small pieces of grilled meat. When he reached the miracle boy, something hit Sho straight in his face. Wait a minute?! Did Jun just called Aiba by his first name?! Of course it wasn’t forbidden, just Sho thought that in front of cameras they should refer to each other with last name and honorifics! Even he, miracle boy’s dearest person, didn’t call him like that on public... The cameras were still rolling, so Sakurai couldn’t do much; he just stayed there and continued preparation of chicken wings.
“Masaki loves chicken...” He thought and smiled. The situation in studio had to have a meaning! This is the thing he should focus on! What was even more lucky, he managed to get closer to Aiba. He felt like nothing had ever changed, so he fed his beloved man with some meat, receiving a slurred ‘thank you’ as a reply. It wasn’t ideal, but at least there was a reaction! Previously all Sho could get was silent treatment. It was a good sign!
***
Finally the shooting was over, and all members could go back to the hotel. They had to get up early and head back to Tokyo; work was waiting for them impatiently. The rapper made the last attempt to talk with his lover one more time before they’ll leave. When he left the building and started to look for Aiba, he saw something terrifying... The man he loved the most, the man he trusted the most was kissing somebody else! And that ‘else’ was none other than Matsumoto! The anger rose in him; all he wanted to do was to hit them. He clenched his fists, came closer to them, without a word and pulled MatsuJun’s arm.
“What are you think you doing with my Masaki?!” the rapper hissed. That was it! He couldn’t stand it anymore! He wanted everything to be like it was before... He just wanted his Masaki back, nothing more...
“Sho-chan! What are you doing?!” Aiba shouted. “Leave us alone! We didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Masaki, I saw you! How could you kiss him? What about us?!”
“You’re so blind Sho-chan! So blind!!!!!” The miracle boy run in unknown direction, crying his eyes out leaving mad Sakurai and semeed to be bored Jun alone.
“You should go after him, he might get lost, you know him. Especially when he’s crying.” Matsumoto said with really calm voice, wiping his lips. The caster didn’t understand a thing, but maybe he was feeling too much pain?
“How could you steal him from me?! You know that I love him more than my own life! How could you?!”
“Easy, Sho-kun. It’s nothing like that! I didn’t steal him!”
“But you were kissing! What’s the meaning of it?!”
“It was just a... training. We are in the training camp, right?” Jun smirked. “You better go and find him before it’ll be late.”
A training? It’s nothing?! What is that DoS thinking?! Sakurai was so angry that he was about to hit Matsumoto, but he stopped in the last second. Even if he is hurt, even if he feels betrayed, he can’t hit his bandmate! He suddenly remembered their performance in Nep League 3 h SP on January 2nd 2010, when they were talking about their bond and friendship... Could it be destroyed just like that? Even if it was so important, Arashi has to be like one organism...
“Sho-kun... Go after him, he will explain you everything. After all it’s not my business..”
“Not your business?! For heaven’s sake, you were kissing my boyfriend!”
“Just go! It’s not my thing to tell you everything!”
Sho looked at him for the last time and ran towards the forest. It was getting dark, and he was afraid that Aiba might get lost.
“Masaki! MASAKI!” The rapper shouted every now and then, hoping to find him as soon as possible and fortunately he saw some object, sitting under the tree, sniffing. It was so touching sight, that Sakurai couldn’t help smiling, but soon he remembered everything and came closer.
“Masaki... Can you explain me what happened? Recently you are acting cold towards me, and I don’t know why...” The caster said calmly, trying not to sound angry. The miracle boy looked with his teary eyes and took few deep breaths.
“You forgot about our anniversary.” He said simply, without hiding anything.
“Anniversary? But our anniversary is....” Sakurai started to count something in his mind. “Oh my god, Masaki! I am sorry! How could I? I am the worst! But why didn’t you tell me?”
“I tried, but you were just too busy! So I thought that maybe I did something wrong... Then one time you pushed me away...”
“Pushed you? When?!”
“After you came back from one of your business trips... I missed you so much, and you just pushed me... Even though you weren’t tired... I thought that you don’t like me anymore... And that you don’t like my body... That’s why I didn’t want you to touch me... I though that I am dirty somehow... Then I started to wonder why all of this happened...” Masaki tried to continue, but he started to cry so much that he couldn’t say a word. Sho hugged him tight and wove his fingers in Aiba’s hair, calming him down in this way.
“It’s OK... I never thought that way! How could I?! I love you, you silly! And you know why did I push you away the other day? I wasn’t tired, that’s true, but I wanted to focus on the interview I had the next day... I am sorry, I should’ve tell you! But why did you kiss Jun?!”
“It was training... I thought that I am lousy lover and I asked Jun-kun for help... He didn’t want to at first...” The miracle boy sniffed few times and continued. “But I begged him... So he told me few things... And that kiss was just... training...” Masaki blushed. Sakurai held him even tighter, forgiving him everything. So all of those problems were because of simple lack of communication.
“Ma-kun, I promise you that I will tell you everything from now on. But you have to do the same, promise me that!”
“I promise...”
“And one more thing... Promise me that you won’t leave me alone.... Ever again...”
“I promise you, Sho-chan! I will be with you forever!” Aiba smiled, wiped the last tears and looked straight to his lover’s eyes. “Sho-chan?”
“Yes?”
“Want me to show you the things I’ve learned?” Masaki whispered it straight to Sakurai’s lips.
“But here?! Somebody can see us!!!”
“I don’t care...” The taller man said with his low radio voice, what made chills run down the caster’s spine. Sho didn’t have to wait long for the passionate, wet kiss; his beloved man was exploring his mouth, using his tongue to discover the most hidden places, putting his hand under Sakurai’s shirt, heading to his nipples. It was the first time when Masaki was THAT active, and that made the caster aroused like never before. Who knows how would it end if not Ninomiya with a flashlight, that caught them red handed.
“Find yourself a room! Geez!” The brat whined. The both culprits’ face became red and soon three Arashi members was heading towards hotel.