Flu, Gas, and the Unbearable Lightness of Being Cute.
This will, potentially be a pic heavy cut. If you count heavy as being 3. Since my wife has been striken with a sickness that even Job would not want, I've been tending to the familial upkeep as best as a man can, which I might add, isn't much. Y'all wifey women folk sure do a lot of shit. With that being said, lemme chronical my funness.
Fuck if I know what the cut tag meant either, but, it seemed surreal and fun at the time. So, Day 1 (Monday) I stay home to tend the child who sounds like a hound of hell, miniturized, and slapped down with a fever. She toggled between heavy eyed and cranky on an hourly basis. Then. The call. It was A. She was coming home early, cause, she didn't 'feel so good'. Yikes. She looked pretty bad when she got home, and the two of them cohabitating in thier viral bliss was kind of cute in that coughy-snotty way that only a sick mommy and sick child can do. So, Miss L. bounces back quite nicely, and A., not so much. So come the next day (Tuesday for those keeping track) I had to deliver L. to daycare and back again, which is fine, but, I used A.'s car which I knew had a full tank of gas. I feared the Jeep. I hadn't fed her in quite some time and I think the bitch was starvin' when I cranked her up cause the needle didn't move.
So, I took Miss L. to daycare and transitted a route known as 'the back way', however, the 'back way' clogs up at that morning hour like one of Dom Deluises arteries after a Krispy Kreme binge. So hear I am, sitting in a LONG line of cars waiting for a light that may only let three through at a time. Gas station to the left of me. Gas station to the right of me. Yet, both are ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LIGHT. I thought I was going to run out of gas. As you can clearly see why (note: the needle is well past 'E' and the gas light is on...yikes!)...
I made it. Barely. As I pulled into the gas station an 18 Wheeler pulled in the 'DEAN'S' on the side. I knew everything would be okay. Fo sho.
The next day (Wednesday) rolls around, same old same old. With the exception that A.'s condition is worsening and I fear that she may wake up moaning with a severe craving for the flesh, and me, I will find some errant bite mark on her person that caused her to be this way. Not the case, thankfully, but, Wednesday came and went. I picked Miss L. up and there was a huge kid party going on. It was Lu-lu's 3rd birthday. I told her she looked like a princess and she lit up like a christmas tree, man and made her so happy, and me. It's wierd how kids can do that to you(on a side note, Lu-lu has asberger's syndrome (sp?), which is similar to autism). Anyway, on the way home we are listening to, as Miss L. defines it LOO-RAY-SO...the 'Uh-huh' song (thanks to hellosadness). In english and for the people who care that is Lucero - Burn it Down. Well, she had this goodie bag and she pulls out these sun glasses, which I inform her, are like the 'New' Willy Wonka's sunglasses (well kinds) and she put them on. This was the best I could do, cause it cracked me up so much...
Anyway, day comes and goes, again. And this morning, I'm kinda getting the hang of this mister mom shit. Finally. Packing lunch. Cleaning kitchens. Picking and changing clothes. If I could just fight crimes or ninjas with my freehand, I might just be able to write that novel that I wanted to! Hehehehehe. Anyway, I say this cause this morning...I faltered. I can't do a pony tail or pig tail to save my life, and, well, I tied Miss L. up a nice, what I term, Napoleon-Tail, as it vaguely resembles the girl in the film Napoleon Dynamite. I told her that and she liked it, and A. thought it was cute so we left it in and took a picture...here you go!
Fuck if I know how it got off to the side like that, but, it did. What are you gonna do? It did kinda look cute though. So, as it stands A. is slowly coming back from the land of the lost. I have enough caffiene in my system to burn a hole in my nutsack, and there is still a day left in the work week. Wish us well. :)
Fuck if I know what the cut tag meant either, but, it seemed surreal and fun at the time. So, Day 1 (Monday) I stay home to tend the child who sounds like a hound of hell, miniturized, and slapped down with a fever. She toggled between heavy eyed and cranky on an hourly basis. Then. The call. It was A. She was coming home early, cause, she didn't 'feel so good'. Yikes. She looked pretty bad when she got home, and the two of them cohabitating in thier viral bliss was kind of cute in that coughy-snotty way that only a sick mommy and sick child can do. So, Miss L. bounces back quite nicely, and A., not so much. So come the next day (Tuesday for those keeping track) I had to deliver L. to daycare and back again, which is fine, but, I used A.'s car which I knew had a full tank of gas. I feared the Jeep. I hadn't fed her in quite some time and I think the bitch was starvin' when I cranked her up cause the needle didn't move.
So, I took Miss L. to daycare and transitted a route known as 'the back way', however, the 'back way' clogs up at that morning hour like one of Dom Deluises arteries after a Krispy Kreme binge. So hear I am, sitting in a LONG line of cars waiting for a light that may only let three through at a time. Gas station to the left of me. Gas station to the right of me. Yet, both are ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LIGHT. I thought I was going to run out of gas. As you can clearly see why (note: the needle is well past 'E' and the gas light is on...yikes!)...
I made it. Barely. As I pulled into the gas station an 18 Wheeler pulled in the 'DEAN'S' on the side. I knew everything would be okay. Fo sho.
The next day (Wednesday) rolls around, same old same old. With the exception that A.'s condition is worsening and I fear that she may wake up moaning with a severe craving for the flesh, and me, I will find some errant bite mark on her person that caused her to be this way. Not the case, thankfully, but, Wednesday came and went. I picked Miss L. up and there was a huge kid party going on. It was Lu-lu's 3rd birthday. I told her she looked like a princess and she lit up like a christmas tree, man and made her so happy, and me. It's wierd how kids can do that to you(on a side note, Lu-lu has asberger's syndrome (sp?), which is similar to autism). Anyway, on the way home we are listening to, as Miss L. defines it LOO-RAY-SO...the 'Uh-huh' song (thanks to hellosadness). In english and for the people who care that is Lucero - Burn it Down. Well, she had this goodie bag and she pulls out these sun glasses, which I inform her, are like the 'New' Willy Wonka's sunglasses (well kinds) and she put them on. This was the best I could do, cause it cracked me up so much...
Anyway, day comes and goes, again. And this morning, I'm kinda getting the hang of this mister mom shit. Finally. Packing lunch. Cleaning kitchens. Picking and changing clothes. If I could just fight crimes or ninjas with my freehand, I might just be able to write that novel that I wanted to! Hehehehehe. Anyway, I say this cause this morning...I faltered. I can't do a pony tail or pig tail to save my life, and, well, I tied Miss L. up a nice, what I term, Napoleon-Tail, as it vaguely resembles the girl in the film Napoleon Dynamite. I told her that and she liked it, and A. thought it was cute so we left it in and took a picture...here you go!
Fuck if I know how it got off to the side like that, but, it did. What are you gonna do? It did kinda look cute though. So, as it stands A. is slowly coming back from the land of the lost. I have enough caffiene in my system to burn a hole in my nutsack, and there is still a day left in the work week. Wish us well. :)