LZ:BS Disk two [Songs 6-10]
Tangerine- Disk Two- Song Six
The world was literally ending and Dean had nothing to show for it but battle scars, a defiant attitude, and the fact his little brother was no longer by his side. They had been so close, way back when. They had even gotten back to ‘brother’ status after the whole Jessica fiasco but this… they might not be able to heal from this one.
He had told Sam that he might not be able to trust him. In any real and important ways this was true- he didn’t think he could trust his brother. Not around demons. Not around humans. He was just happy to get one major burden off his shoulders when Sam had decided to leave.
In the unimportant ways, however, he wanted to trust his brother again. Trust him to have his back. Trust him to hunt without going crazy again. Be the older, protective, brother like it had been back when things had been better between the two of them. He wondered if Sam even thought about how things used to be. It seemed like a thousand years ago, and it probably was.
Going to California- Disk Two- Song Seven
The bag was slung around his shoulder and Dean didn’t want to believe it.
“No! I won’t let you do it. You belong with us; we’re your family Sam!”
“Why won’t you let me? When did it ever become your call, because as far as I can tell it never was! If you’re so hell bend on me staying why don’t you give me a reason to stay? Why can’t you show me why you want me to stay?” They stared each other down.
In the end, he couldn’t.
Since I’ve Been Loving You- Disk Two- Song Eight
Really the whole thing had been up and down for years; that was Dean’s thinking at least. He had always wanted; even more so when it was apparent that Sam did too. Although the younger did have to kind of beat it into his head that yes he knew what he was getting into and he didin’t care.
--//--
Dean was lounging back onto one of the many sunken in piece of shit couches that came standard with the motels they frequented. Sam was off in the corner huddled over a desk that was too small for him doing some sort of calculus. Lots of things were getting too small for the seventeen-year-olds body since he hit that growth spurt a while back. Although he was proud of the kid for being a straight A student… it worried him too. If his little brother was hell-bend on such good grades, did that mean he was going to try to do something with them? He hoped to hell that he wouldn’t.
He moved off the couch and peered over the Sam’s shoulder, trying not to roll is eyes over the stupid math those stupid teachers were forcing him to do. “Sammy?” he asked, breath purposely ghosting over his ear. He could see the visible shiver wrack through his brother’s body. “You wouldn’t leave me, would you?” He asked, lips descending onto his neck. He almost missed the shuddering no.
He thought at that point Sammy could never lie to him. He had.
--//--
Dean fought it as much as he could; but the love he still harbored for his brother was still too much. He didn’t initiate anything outside of his dreams. He watched as his brother tore himself apart over Jessica. A love that wasn’t Dean, but he had to keep that jealousy in check and make sure Sam was alright. So he did. That’s why he didn’t take responsibility for it.
Dean awake with a start, feeling a warm body crawling into his bed. His hand tightened on his knife but relaxed when he heard the words, “Dean, I need you.” Come from Sam’s lips.
He choked back his emotion, his love. “Only if this time… you won’t leave me.”
He figured there was no where else his brother would be interested in running.
When he left this time, it wasn’t by his own will. But to get him back he had to be the one to leave.
Dean’s life had become extremely more complicated since he had been loving Samuel Winchester.
D’Yer Mak’er- Disk Two- Song Nine
“Oh you can’t possibly think that now that I’ve got you I’m letting you go, do you?” Sam smirked, smugness radiating from his expression as he looked at Dean, who was trapped within the confines of his elaborate symbols. “It had been such a long time since we were truly… oh what is the word… brothers, wouldn’t you say?”
“All I need to do is kill you, you cocky son-of-a-bitch.” Dean snarled, glaring at Sam who laughed heartily at the threat. “We aren’t brothers anymore, haven’ been for a while.”
“But we’re all God’s creatures, Michael. Wouldn’t you say that makes us brothers? Oh and taking up on human language to insult me, very distasteful. You really did choose the weaker one, you know. Couldn’t even say no to debauchery when his little brother’s lips were sucking on his cock; loved every second of it, Sam knows that he did.”
“You fell, that doesn’t make you a brother of mine. I have the stronger brother; he is more capable of love. There is nothing wrong with love in its purest form and anyone that goes through your hell to save the soul of another is a very strong warrior. Oh Lucifer you will let me out of here and we will fight- and I shall destroy you. Even if I have to wait for this seal to fade, I shall destroy you.”
“Promises, promises,” Sam, Lucifer, said and waved his hand at his carelessly, “that is all heaven seems to do these days is promise. But for now I shall let you rot- you’re no fun when all you want do is talk about fighting me. We will meet again, Michael, and I can assure you I will not fall.”
Gallows Pole- Disk Two- Song Ten
Here he was, staring down eternity and the apocalypse. He knew that there was no good way to go about this. Either he could go down fighting or he could become an angel pawn. He would rather go down fighting.
What he didn’t really want was to go down without Sam by his side. But now Sam was gone and he was the lone wolf facing down the evil bastards in front of him. He thought of how much he had wanted to be the lone wolf after hell. Never admitting it was the power trip; missing that total control. Dean could try to exert that control over the younger Winchester but it just pushed him away all the more. It felt like a weight was lifted when he didn’t have to try anymore because Sam once again walked away and he didn’t even want to stop him anymore.
Until he saw the future and heard himself say one sentence that did more for him than he would ever admit. “Sam? I haven’t talked to him in about five years.” Plus, his war-tired self had told him, Sammy was now dead. He hadn’t been there to protect him. Sam had said yes, and he wasn’t there to tell him not to. He couldn’t shake the feeling that if he had been there to keep Sam safe he could have saved him from playing Luci’s pretty puppet.
Castiel saved him, again, and then he called his brother. They met on that lone road.
“We need to keep each other human.” He had told his brother, walking up next to him before claiming his lips. The kiss grew with more intensity and heat, his younger brother leaning up against the old car he had gotten and giving back as much as he got. They hadn’t done this in a while and it felt like coming home for him. Before he could protest Dean pushed him onto the hood and clothing started to come off and the little whimpers Sam was making were driving Dean wild with need.
He was still staring down eternity and the apocalypse, but at least now he wasn’t facing it alone.