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terpzilla December 28 2009, 06:02:19 UTC
I really, really like this beginning, reminiscent of any Grimm Brother's fairy tales or even older stories. The way the sections are numbered is especially intriguing; I was going to suggest titles for each part but I think each part speaks for itself, and the pauses sort of bring to mind illustrations in a book, like each passage deserves it's own wood carving depicting the scene.

It's very classical, which is always good in my book.

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myreasoninlife December 28 2009, 06:43:34 UTC
I really like the transitions. Like a fairytale, each numbered part makes me imagine a turning page of a picture book and the pages coming alive as I read each section.

It really keeps me reading and I can't wait (no, seriously) to read the next parts.

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