Fic: Don’t look back in anger (Doctor Who)
Title: Don’t look back in anger
Author: karlamartinova
Pairing: Ten/Donna
Genre: Angst
Rating: NC 17
Disclaimer: No, I still don't own anything useful! But a girl can dream, can´t she? ;)
AN: When did I resist any Porn Battle? Written for doctor_donna Porn Battle for prompt "angry".
Summary: A suppressed anger always comes back to bit you.
...
Donna knew she shouldn’t be angry, it wasn’t his fault. This time it really wasn’t. He took her somewhere to relax, to take long walks and watch thousand moons. The Doctor had taken her there to apologize and she had nodded eagerly and hugged him, her hand had lingered a bit longer at his arm and his smile looked more sincere she ever had seen it.
But it all had to go to hell, peaceful holiday changed into a battle to survive. Donna had understood then Doctor´s need to help, to try and negotiate, to make those people see the wrongness of their action. She supported him even. Donna had been so glad to be back with, to be back on the TARDIS.
All that was three days ago and now she was standing on the deck, wet and hurt and so terribly tired, and Donna knows she had no reason to be angry but it’s the only emotion she is able to process because the other one is fear and Donna never did fear well.
“Donna?” the Doctor asks, an evident worry is in his voice, his eyes and she can’t help it. It unleashes a monster she never even knew she had.
“Now are you interested in me? When you fixed everything and it is all brilliant again, now you are interested in me?” she asks and her voice is nothing but friendly. Venom slipped in it, acid and bitterness.
The Doctor blinks rapidly, shocked at her outburst. He leans on the console and in his movements, Donna can finally see his age. It takes her unprepared but it doesn’t mean she is finished, because she isn’t. She harboured this anger, this fury for so long. It can’t stay buried.
“You didn’t care how I felt when you dropped me back on Earth, when you took away my only precious memories and made me that frustrated and unhappy woman. You didn’t care then, so why now?” her voice is ringing through the corridors of the TARDIS. The lights are all of sudden dimmer, like the ship itself was trying to calm her down and even when Donna doesn’t want to admit it, it does work.
She knows she should stop, that all this the Doctor doesn’t need to hear now. Donna should told him right after he came for her, when the splitting headache made her fall into coma and Wilf moved earth and sky to find someone who would help her.
But the door is opened and to close them, she needs to let out more.
“He was right, you never look back.”
The last sentence is just a quite whisper but it’s the one that finally makes him react. He springs from the console and stops just inches from her, he looks angry too.
“Do you want to know why, Donna? Why I never look back? Because I can’t, I can’t go back, can’t live with memories. They hurt, Donna. I had lost so many, so many loved ones and the only way I can forget is to never look back, to erase them from my head, to see more, to live through more.”
“But you can never understand,” the Doctor finishes and looks at Donna. She didn’t flinch, didn’t step away from him.
“No, I can’t,” she whispers and looks him straight into his soul and sees it, sees his pain and loneliness and the Doctor doesn’t want her to see, doesn’t want anyone to see.
The kiss is an impulse, only option he could find. It’s fueled by the anger and he grips her face, pushes her against the railing.
Donna isn’t inactive, she kisses him back, she has her own anger out in open and when she embraces it, she lets him know. Donna winds her hand in his coat and pulls him closer, bites on his bottom, draws a bit of blood that gets lost inside the kiss.
The Doctor wants to fight back, wants to show her that he has the same right to be angry and rips her blouse open. It reveals creamy skin and white bra. He doesn’t waste any time and tries to leave a mark on it.
The bruise doesn’t hurt, it makes her shiver and Donna feels her knickers are more than wet already, they are soaked and she welcomes his hand that starts to slip under them.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers because she knows she can never understand, but she wants too. Donna wants to feel his pain, and she wants to help him numb it.
The Doctor stops his hand and looks back at her, backs one step away.
“Me too,” he says and bends his head in shame but Donna sees what he is trying to do. He is running from her, running from his action, running to forget but she won’t let him, not this time. Not when her body is humming with want and she can positively say that he isn’t opposed to that idea too.
She steps forward, this time it’s him who is backed up against the railing.
“Don’t, please just now, don’t,” Donna pleads and palms his cheek, stroking the skin under his eyes with her thumb. His eyes are open to her again and Donna feels the force of the bond that will always be between them. It won’t ever die and she can say the exact moment, when the Doctor realizes the same.
When he leans in the kiss is soft and full of love, it takes her breath away. He leans back and comes back for another and another and Donna loses count of how many times her lips tried to chase his because he is moving now, kissing her and pulling her with him. It’s a game, come if you want another kiss and she plays willingly.
It’s hers room they enter after a while and Donna isn’t surprised.
The Doctor pushes her slowly on the bed crawling up her body and finally slipping his hand back inside her knickers. Her moan is swallowed by his lips and he continues to move his fingers, up and down, inside and back. It’s delicious torture, something she never experienced before.
His erection is pressed against her thigh and she moves it, pushes it against him and he closes his eyes, lets out a breath. He is resisting but Donna doesn’t want him to. She wants him to lose control and moves under him, changing their position.
Now she is able to touch him, to let her hand wanted in his trousers, touch him, feel the hard skin underneath.
But the Doctor doesn’t want to let her continue and they struggle and laugh, push one against another and the rest of their clothes comes off in slow and gentle ministrations. Their skin almost hisses when it finally touches the other, it’s hot and sweaty and Donna can’t help and lick at his shoulder just to taste it.
And then, then he finally pushes himself inside her and Donna feels the world coming to an end. There are stars behind her eyes, all around them and when she closes them, they are floating in the space. Their sweating bodies reflect the light of stars and galaxies and its perfect, so perfect that when the climax fades away she has to touch the bed under her body just to be sure she is back.
“I’m here,” Donna strokes his face that lingers over hers, just a breath away. “And I am never ever going to leave.”
“I know,” the Doctor seals it with a kiss and the TARDIS turns off the lights and finally lets them sleep.
Author: karlamartinova
Pairing: Ten/Donna
Genre: Angst
Rating: NC 17
Disclaimer: No, I still don't own anything useful! But a girl can dream, can´t she? ;)
AN: When did I resist any Porn Battle? Written for doctor_donna Porn Battle for prompt "angry".
Summary: A suppressed anger always comes back to bit you.
...
Donna knew she shouldn’t be angry, it wasn’t his fault. This time it really wasn’t. He took her somewhere to relax, to take long walks and watch thousand moons. The Doctor had taken her there to apologize and she had nodded eagerly and hugged him, her hand had lingered a bit longer at his arm and his smile looked more sincere she ever had seen it.
But it all had to go to hell, peaceful holiday changed into a battle to survive. Donna had understood then Doctor´s need to help, to try and negotiate, to make those people see the wrongness of their action. She supported him even. Donna had been so glad to be back with, to be back on the TARDIS.
All that was three days ago and now she was standing on the deck, wet and hurt and so terribly tired, and Donna knows she had no reason to be angry but it’s the only emotion she is able to process because the other one is fear and Donna never did fear well.
“Donna?” the Doctor asks, an evident worry is in his voice, his eyes and she can’t help it. It unleashes a monster she never even knew she had.
“Now are you interested in me? When you fixed everything and it is all brilliant again, now you are interested in me?” she asks and her voice is nothing but friendly. Venom slipped in it, acid and bitterness.
The Doctor blinks rapidly, shocked at her outburst. He leans on the console and in his movements, Donna can finally see his age. It takes her unprepared but it doesn’t mean she is finished, because she isn’t. She harboured this anger, this fury for so long. It can’t stay buried.
“You didn’t care how I felt when you dropped me back on Earth, when you took away my only precious memories and made me that frustrated and unhappy woman. You didn’t care then, so why now?” her voice is ringing through the corridors of the TARDIS. The lights are all of sudden dimmer, like the ship itself was trying to calm her down and even when Donna doesn’t want to admit it, it does work.
She knows she should stop, that all this the Doctor doesn’t need to hear now. Donna should told him right after he came for her, when the splitting headache made her fall into coma and Wilf moved earth and sky to find someone who would help her.
But the door is opened and to close them, she needs to let out more.
“He was right, you never look back.”
The last sentence is just a quite whisper but it’s the one that finally makes him react. He springs from the console and stops just inches from her, he looks angry too.
“Do you want to know why, Donna? Why I never look back? Because I can’t, I can’t go back, can’t live with memories. They hurt, Donna. I had lost so many, so many loved ones and the only way I can forget is to never look back, to erase them from my head, to see more, to live through more.”
“But you can never understand,” the Doctor finishes and looks at Donna. She didn’t flinch, didn’t step away from him.
“No, I can’t,” she whispers and looks him straight into his soul and sees it, sees his pain and loneliness and the Doctor doesn’t want her to see, doesn’t want anyone to see.
The kiss is an impulse, only option he could find. It’s fueled by the anger and he grips her face, pushes her against the railing.
Donna isn’t inactive, she kisses him back, she has her own anger out in open and when she embraces it, she lets him know. Donna winds her hand in his coat and pulls him closer, bites on his bottom, draws a bit of blood that gets lost inside the kiss.
The Doctor wants to fight back, wants to show her that he has the same right to be angry and rips her blouse open. It reveals creamy skin and white bra. He doesn’t waste any time and tries to leave a mark on it.
The bruise doesn’t hurt, it makes her shiver and Donna feels her knickers are more than wet already, they are soaked and she welcomes his hand that starts to slip under them.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers because she knows she can never understand, but she wants too. Donna wants to feel his pain, and she wants to help him numb it.
The Doctor stops his hand and looks back at her, backs one step away.
“Me too,” he says and bends his head in shame but Donna sees what he is trying to do. He is running from her, running from his action, running to forget but she won’t let him, not this time. Not when her body is humming with want and she can positively say that he isn’t opposed to that idea too.
She steps forward, this time it’s him who is backed up against the railing.
“Don’t, please just now, don’t,” Donna pleads and palms his cheek, stroking the skin under his eyes with her thumb. His eyes are open to her again and Donna feels the force of the bond that will always be between them. It won’t ever die and she can say the exact moment, when the Doctor realizes the same.
When he leans in the kiss is soft and full of love, it takes her breath away. He leans back and comes back for another and another and Donna loses count of how many times her lips tried to chase his because he is moving now, kissing her and pulling her with him. It’s a game, come if you want another kiss and she plays willingly.
It’s hers room they enter after a while and Donna isn’t surprised.
The Doctor pushes her slowly on the bed crawling up her body and finally slipping his hand back inside her knickers. Her moan is swallowed by his lips and he continues to move his fingers, up and down, inside and back. It’s delicious torture, something she never experienced before.
His erection is pressed against her thigh and she moves it, pushes it against him and he closes his eyes, lets out a breath. He is resisting but Donna doesn’t want him to. She wants him to lose control and moves under him, changing their position.
Now she is able to touch him, to let her hand wanted in his trousers, touch him, feel the hard skin underneath.
But the Doctor doesn’t want to let her continue and they struggle and laugh, push one against another and the rest of their clothes comes off in slow and gentle ministrations. Their skin almost hisses when it finally touches the other, it’s hot and sweaty and Donna can’t help and lick at his shoulder just to taste it.
And then, then he finally pushes himself inside her and Donna feels the world coming to an end. There are stars behind her eyes, all around them and when she closes them, they are floating in the space. Their sweating bodies reflect the light of stars and galaxies and its perfect, so perfect that when the climax fades away she has to touch the bed under her body just to be sure she is back.
“I’m here,” Donna strokes his face that lingers over hers, just a breath away. “And I am never ever going to leave.”
“I know,” the Doctor seals it with a kiss and the TARDIS turns off the lights and finally lets them sleep.