Private Journal Entry
This has been a strange trip. I came down to do work for PJ and have done quite a bit of that with a lot of teasing Dave inbetween. He's so fun to torment. Watching him blush from zero to crimson in a matter of seconds...
Of course, then Viggo arrived in town. He told me what he wanted, we joked about my escort services et al. He was tired and cranky, sore from his travels and still just sexy as hell. I told Dave Vig's one I always wanted to get my hands on. Of course, when it came to just letting the man sleep, I intended to. I had every intention of just getting in the bed and sleeping...then he told me to fuck him. Like I could say no to that!
But in the morning, he was gone.
Two weeks passed and still no word, no return calls for my messages either...I have ever been one for not batting an eye about casual sex and one night stands, but to be ignored by a friend like that. Well, he made me feel like a rent boy. Then when I finally did get hold of him he tried to put that all on me, like I seduced him. Well fuck that, we were in that room together. He's an adult and can make his own fucking choices. I was not in it just to toy with him and bed him like a fucking conquest. Needless to say, that call did not go well. I dont expect I'll ever really want to talk to him again. Anyone that can be that self centered and full of self-pity, unable to see friendships for what they are, doesnt deserve my time or patience.
And now there's Orlando. This was unexpected really. I always liked him. Enjoyed his company while on set, and yes, had more than a few fantasies about him. I was still with Dani so I didn't do a damned thing about it back then. Craig and I would discuss him, Viggo and the others like we were at a department store comparison shopping. All those gorgeous men penned up in one place...and a few women to boot. Craig was still with Micheal, me with Dani, so we window shopped to our hearts content.
Thats one thing I really dont get. Craig really had a thing for Orli, I know he did. We talked about him a lot. So to have him and then just leave him *shrugs* I dont understand. And he's not returning my phone calls. I want to help Orli figure things out.
Of course, now, part of me wants Craig to stay gone forever. What if, when he shows again, Orli just runs back to him? I have really enjoyed these last few days with him. We havent talked about what this is. Hell, we barely talk at all really, just keep fucking. That may be all this is, but I hope not. After Liv and then Vig using me, I couldn't take another friendship going south because of my "sex now, question later" tendancies.
I want to help Orli. I want to be here for him. Craig left for his own selfish reasons. And I'm sorry if it seems terrible of me to want to keep the guy my best friend was so recently in love with; just call me selfish too.