(title pending)

[karmic380]

She wears her sadness
in pink pashmina
around her shoulders

(the reflection, 
     masking
         boulders
            of deeper troubles
               in her eyes).

"Beware the landslide"

The world marches
on below;
bellowing;
billowing
- life.

And the vibrations,
    (sensations)
of happiness' creations
do not
          move
               her

Comments

[verbal_tar]

I love the first part in parentheses.. I love "do not move her in ways that a smile should" and how you formatted it.

In general I like the sound of this one. The rhyme and off-rhyme gets a little labored at parts (mostly the vibrations, sensations, creations part for me).

The general situation of the poem.. I'm a little lost on, with the exception of fragments. I do like it though.. I think maybe it's just less.. concrete than other poems of yours or..? I don't know.

Where'd this one come from?

(I just got out of my poetry class an hour ago. I'm still in workshopping mode ;))

[karmic380]

this is a bit fragmented because it was rushed and full of emotion - anger, helplessness, anxiety, desolation. Lost. Which sort of sums up how I'm feeling now and have been for the past few weeks.