(no subject)
Here is a story a wrote a little while ago. So i thought i would share.
The Willow station has been abandoned for years. Cobwebs of dust cover most of the neglected graffiti walls, while the platform is littered with fallen leaves of autumn. Holly had always loved coming here as a child. She remembered better times playing childish games, which to her now, she thought, seemed so far away and pointless. A gust of frigid autumn wind blew through her snapping her back to her present reality, and making her thoughts rise to the surface. Thoughts that are always front and center in her mind whenever she is alone.
“Why am I here?” she screamed.
There were no sounds except her voice echoing off the back walls of the station.
“Why am I here?” she whispered.
No one would give her the answer.
She recalled that morning. It was Sunday and she had sleep in, she could hear her parents fighting already and it wasn’t even noon yet.
“What a pleasant alarm clock” she spat to the empty room.
She forced herself up and gathered her things to take a shower.
As she let the warm water wash over her, she felt a twinge of pain on her upper arm. She looked and saw that one of her cuts of disappointment had opened and as a result a stream of blood was now trickling down her scarred arm. She stood there watching as the blood lightly took its journey down the prefect white of the shower base and then down the drain. Holly had become numb to the pain of her cutting and it had now become part of her nightly routine. Finished with her shower, she stepped out and dried herself off and dressed. Fully dressed, she stood in the middle of her bathroom and gazed at her surroundings of white. To her it looked like a room in a mental institution. She laughed dryly at herself and thought ‘That is a place I should be.’ She caught her reflection in the mirror. In a way she was still shocked by the girl she saw in there. A girl of seventeen who had grown thin by not eating, the cobalt fleece sweater she wore, to hide the cuts brought out how pale she was. Her eyes were always the biggest surprise; she remembered how her eyes used to shine emerald green, but were now so pale. To her it was al if the tears she had wept had stolen the color with each passing day. She shook herself and went to her room, which of course was kept clean like the rest of the house. Everything was perfectly placed; another way to pretend that everything was fine and perfect in her life. She traveled around the room and gathered the things that she would need for the day.
Finding the last thing she needed, she stood up and glanced around her room, seeing that everything was in its place. She remembered that as she walked down the stairs she glanced at the many pictures lining the walls. One caught her eye; it was a picture of her and her parents when she was about thirteen. They were standing in front of the house on a fall day like this one. She remembered they had actually had fun that day, how she and her parents decided to have a leaf battle. Memories of laughter and thoughts that maybe there would be no more bad spells filled her mind. But she was wrong tears threatened to break, but she pushed them back. Frowning to herself she continued down the stairs. As she opened the front door she heard her mother slurring her name. She had been drinking again which explained the fight.
“Yes” Holly answered.
“Where are you going?”
“Just out I will be back soon.” She said cheerfully as she shut the door behind her.
Even now as Holly stood at the station, she could still feel the conversation. How the fake words and emotion felt bitter on her tongue. That will be over soon she thought. But she could not help thinking about how things went so wrong. How her life turned upside down into an uncontrolled nightmare. However, that night mare would end and she would be the one to do it. She had written letters to the people she cared about last night, telling them she was sorry and not to morn for her.
She turned to the left and headed to an old pole, the noose that she had tied yesterday swayed in the gentle autumn breeze. As she walked she thought about the reason she chose this spot. She remembered hearing that trains used to pick up mail here. So she fantasized that maybe a ghost train of the past might pass by, and take here spirit away from this place.
She continued to walk forward leaves crunched under her feet but she did not notice. Suddenly something made a noise that she did notice. It was her phone. She cursed to herself; ‘I just have picked it up by mistake, the one day when I did not forget my phone.’ And because of her being who she is, she went to her purse and dug for it. When she found it she looked she looked at the screen, which said she had a text message which said three simple words: Are You Okay? Holly scrolled down the screen until she found the name of the sender. It was from her friend, Kira. A friend that Holly always tried to hid her emotions from but obviously she was not a good actress. Her fingers moved over the different buttons on her phone deciding what to write. She decided and texted: I will be soon. As Holly set her phone down again it beeped signaling the arrival of another message. She cursed again, hating herself for being so addicted to her phone. A tear ran down her cheek as she read the message. Ok, but I want you to know I am always here for you and I car about you. Holly leaned against the dust covered wall to take in the message. ‘Why now?’ she thought ‘Why was that message sent?’ Holly looked at her phone cradled in her pale hands. Thinking ‘Someone might actually car about me, but why?’
She took a glace at the noose swaying in the breeze, as she dialed Kira’s number.