Car Sex
Title: Car Sex
Authors: obscure_ize and kasleigh1
Chapter: One shot
Genre: Comedy with hints of smut
Band: Dir en grey
Summary: The title says it all . . . Kinda . . .
Comments loved and welcomed! :D
Kaoru was packing up after a long day of recording. Tired, he stretched out his arms above his head. To his right was Shinya. They were the only two left in the building, as far as he knew, finishing up a song.
Kaoru was looking forward to getting home and just relaxing for the rest of their weekend off.
“Any plans this weekend Shin?” he asked his quiet band mate.
The other shook his head. Kaoru suspected he was lying and actually had plans; he just avoided talking when unnecessary. Shinya was a rather boring person to be left alone with when it came to small talk.
“Alright, well see ya Monday” the older man said as he left through the side door.
The cold air of the outside nipped at the leader’s small amounts of exposed skin. Lighting a cigarette up and taking a puff, he proceeded to his car across the lot. His eyes mindlessly glancing over anything and everything lit by the dim glow of the nearby street lamp.
His own car was at the far end of the parking lot. As he approached his vehicle, his attention was caught by something else. Not far from his own car was a shiny silver Mercedes Benz.
It wasn’t the car’s luxurious brand name or colour that attracted him. It was the fogged windows and subtle rocking that made the leader lift an eyebrow in intrigue.
Exhaling a trail of smoke he mumbled “…the hell?”
Walking over to the car he couldn't help but allow a grin to cross his face. He knew why the windows were fogged up. Now he just wanted to know by whom.
Shinya watched Kaoru leave before gathering the rest of his things. He did have plans this weekend involving his new power tool! He just didn't feel like mentioning it to Kaoru, for fear of teasing like last time when he became obsessed with measuring things.
Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he went out the same side door that Kaoru had just left through moments earlier. He was surprised to still see the leader standing in the parking lot. By now he should be in his car driving home. He turned and grabbed for the door in hopes of being able to go back inside in order to avoid Kaoru, but sadly just missed the handle.
Shutting in his face, the door locked from the inside. With a sigh, he turned around to face his leader who was still staring at his car....wait, that’s not his car?
With quiet toes Shinya tried his best to walk without a sound to avoid drawing Kaoru's attention. Whatever it was the older man was looking at he was sure to tell everyone Monday. Tiptoeing in the shadows Shinya tried to stay completly out of the dim light, but was finally forced to step away from the shadows in order to reach his car, only four feet away. Quietly and quickly the youngest man stepped into the light and began his fast paced quiet run to his car.
"Shinya." Kaoru called causing the young man to freeze in mid step. "Shinya come here."
"What . . . How did . . . What?" The younger man quietly fought under his breath.
Taking a look at where his feet were then at his car, Shinya began contemplating how long it would take him to close the final distance between him and his vehical, pull out his keys, unlock it, get in, start it, and drive away.
"About three minutes." He mumbled quietly to himself.
"Shinya come . . . Come here." Kaoru repeated a little more excited.
The younger man ran his hand through his hair and mumbled again, "Three minutes." Then began walking towards Kaoru. "Three more freaking minutes and I could've been home free."
With a sigh, he approached his leader, curious as to why he was staring at some random car. That’s when he noticed the fogged windows, the slight rocking and the creepy amusement on Kaoru’s face- OMG PEOPLE WERE HAVING SEX IN THAT CAR!
“Kaoru!” Shinya gasped.
He grabbed at the perverted old man’s sleeve. “Don’t look!” he hissed desperately.
"But Shinya look!"
"Stop it Kaoru!" The younger man shouted in a whisper while throwing his hands up to obscure the elder’s vision.
"Shinya" Kaoru scolded. "Just help me figure out who they are."
"Kaoru!" The younger man said putting his finger in Kaoru's face. "Don't you have something better to do than watch porn?"
"No" the leader answered and pushed Shinya's finger away. "Not real life porn anyways."
“Why does it even matter who they are!?” Shinya protested in vain.
“Come on! How often do you find people fucking in a car? I’m just curious...it’s funny, maybe I could use it for blackmail...” Kaoru smirked.
“This is so wrong...” Shinya shook his head.
“Do you recognize them?”
Shinya took a closer look beyond the hazy windows and realized it was actually two men in the car. His eyes widened with the sudden realization of who it might be.
The younger man quickly turned around and obnoxiously shouted loud, "I could be home right now playing with my new power tool!"
Kaoru finally tore his long creepy gaze from the car, "Your what?"
"My power tool Kaoru." The young man said sternly. "But noooooo." He drew out the word obnoxiously.
"Shinya be quiet." Kaoru hushed as his eyes darted from the younger man making a scene to the rocking car. "You'll disturb them."
"Are you kidding me? You dragged me over here to see two men, men, screwing each other in a car and you're complaining that I'm going to disturb them?" The last sentence coming out loud and sarcastic. "And what, you think when one of them finally glances out the window and sees your creepy ass staring back at them with your shit eating grin, that that wouldn't disturb them?"
“Shinya shut up!” Kaoru hushed but it was too late. The car came to a standstill.
It was apparent that the people inside knew they were being watched and the car started moving again from the two men hurriedly getting dressed.
Kaoru started laughing at the situation while Shinya felt beyond embarrassed for everyone involved in this situation.
“Kaoru let’s go!” he tried in one final attempt, pulling the other’s arm insistently.
"No no no no." Kaoru said grabbing Shinya's hand and holding it like a father would his son. "There are four cars in this lot: yours, mine, and two others."
"So?" Shinya questioned while trying to pull his hand free.
"So, that means one of them has to get out of that car and go to the other unclaimed car." He pointed to his left towards a car.
"No. That doesn't mean anything." The younger man objected and pulled his hand free. "Besides that's Toshiya's car."
Shinya paused at registering the name he had just spoken.
Kaoru looked at the fourth car again, "That . . . That . . . That is Toshiya's car . . . Isn't it?"
“Why do you even care? Kaoru, you’re being such a pervert right now! Stop being such a fucking creep. This has NOTHING to do with you! Now come!” Shinya started to shift his weight, pulling Kaoru by the hand that held him. His thin body didn’t help much and they remained in place.
Shinya’s eyes widened as the car windows began to un-fog. Kaoru did not need to know and Shinya didn’t need to have his suspicions confirmed either.
“Come on Kao! Let’s go!”
“Holy shit I think that is Toshiya!” the other exclaimed way too excited at the prospect of uncovering his friend having sex...with another man...in a car. "I must say I did have my suspicions about him." He looked at Shinya. "I had ones about you too." He finished smugly.
Shinya's eyes widened. "I am not gay Kaoru!"
"So you say. Watch on Monday I'll catch you out here in a Prius with some dude."
"Not all gay men drive Priuses, Kaoru." Shinya scolded. "I mean look. Toshiya doesn't and neither does Kyo."
Again Shinya paused at the name that had slipped from his lips.
"And that is Kyo's car, isn't it?" Kaoru asked a little stunned.
"THREE MINUTES KAORU!" Shinya shouted while holding three fingers up in Kaoru's face. "THREE FUCKING MINUTES!"
"What does three minutes have to do with anything?" Kaoru asked in a calm normal voice.
"It would've taken me three minutes from where I was at when you called me, to run to my car, unlock it, get in, and drive away without coming over here." Again he shoved three fingers into his leaders face.
“So?” the guitarist replied unaffected by Shinya’s anger.
“I DID NOT NEED TO WITNESS THIS!” the drummer exasperated.
“But aren’t you glad you did?” the other laughed clearly enjoying the younger’s discomfort.
Shinya was on the verge of punching the obnoxious leader in the face.
Before things got violent, they heard a car door opening and turned their heads in time to see Toshiya rushing to his own car. He was half-dressed and carrying the rest of his clothing in his arms.
Kaoru busted up laughing and pointed at the half naked running man.
"Stop it." Shinya ordered jabbing the older man in the side.
"I knew it!" He laughed. "I knew it. I knew it. I knew it!" He continued laughing. "I just didn't know that Kyo was too." He pointed at the silver car before them and continued laughing.
"Kaoru." Shinya scolded trying to cover the older man mouth with his hand. "Shut up."
Shinya just wanted to die in that moment while Kaoru continued his laughing fit. They heard some more scuffling and Toshiya was safely in his own car, on the verge of driving away like Shinya should have been... if it wasn’t for his boss.
“YOU’RE SUCH A PERVERT!” he yelled and walked away frustrated.
"Watch out so you don't get hit by any of these guys scrambling to get away, Shin." The leader yelled to Shinya as he somewhat ran to his car.
As Shinya was fiddling with his keys, he heard a commotion and turned around to witness a new scene.
Kyo had gotten out of his own car and was yelling at Kaoru, something along the lines of being a “sick old man” and to “fuck off.”
Shinya smirked to himself, the guitarist definitely deserved this.
"And you!" Shinya heard Kyo shout and point towards him.
They youngest man pointed at himself in suprise and mouthed, "Me?"
"Yes you!" The tiny blonde continued to shout as he approached the innocent drummer. "You watched too!"
"Unwillingly." Shinya corrected and stuck his keys into his car to unlock it.
“Don’t lie to me!” the singer raged on.
“I was trying to get Kaoru to stop!” Shinya tried to defend himself. To think, if he would have just ignored Kaoru, he could be at home right now with Miyu relaxing with his power tool.
“Just calm down Kyo” Kaoru tried to lighten the situation.
“NO! You fucking asshole! You stood there and watched me have sex with my boyfriend! How sick are you!?” Kyo was furious.
"Boyfriend?" Kaoru asked. "This isn’t a first time thing with you two?"
"Fuck no! And it ain't gonna be the last!" Kyo bit.
"So you two," Kaoru tried to hide his laughter. "You two do this often?" He slightly giggled at the end.
"You should probably just go." Shinya informed Kyo. "He's just going to keep laughing at you."
“HIM!? Laughing at me!? He’s the pervert watching me have car sex! He shouldn’t be laughing!”
Shinya looked up to see Toshiya approaching them, fully dressed now. Kaoru continued to chuckle like an idiot and Kyo was shooting daggers at the eldest. It was tense and Shinya just wanted to get into his car and retire to the safety of his home.
When Toshiya had reached them, he placed a hand on Kyo’s shoulder, looking at the ground, not wanting to meet Kaoru’s or Shinya’s eyes.
"What's eating you?" Kaoru asked nudging the bassist’s side. "Other than Kyo." The leader said busting up laughing once again.
Toshiya looked up with a frown at their immature leader. When he wouldn’t stop laughing, the bassist just couldn’t take it anymore and gave him a hard punch on the shoulder.
“You! I can’t believe you!” Everything about this evening had gone terribly wrong due to Kaoru and it felt good to retaliate.
"Me!? I wasn't the one have sex in a car!" Kaoru shouted as he rubbed his shoulder.
"You were the pervert watching!"
"You had no right Kaoru!" Kyo added in his own shout.
Soon Kaoru, Kyo, and Toshiya had all began yelling at each other while Shinya stood idly next to his car, unable to open the door without hitting someone and possibly scratching the paint.
"I JUST WANT TO GO HOME, FEED MY DOG, AND PLAY WITH NEW GOD DAMNED POWER TOOL! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!?" Shinya shouted above everyone else making them fall silent as the youngest man there finished his shouting.
"Who yanked your chain?" Toshiya asked a little snotty.
"I . . . Eh . . . Wha . . ." Shinya stumbled for words. "Get . . . Get . . . Get out of the way." He shooed the three older men with his hands. "Get away from my car." The drummer continued to bat them away with his hands until it was clear enough to open his door without fear of damage coming to his car. "I will see you guys Monday." The youngest man said as he stepped into his vehical and closed the door. "That was the longest three fucking minutes of my life." He mumbled as he started his car and drove away.
Authors: obscure_ize and kasleigh1
Chapter: One shot
Genre: Comedy with hints of smut
Band: Dir en grey
Summary: The title says it all . . . Kinda . . .
Comments loved and welcomed! :D
Kaoru was packing up after a long day of recording. Tired, he stretched out his arms above his head. To his right was Shinya. They were the only two left in the building, as far as he knew, finishing up a song.
Kaoru was looking forward to getting home and just relaxing for the rest of their weekend off.
“Any plans this weekend Shin?” he asked his quiet band mate.
The other shook his head. Kaoru suspected he was lying and actually had plans; he just avoided talking when unnecessary. Shinya was a rather boring person to be left alone with when it came to small talk.
“Alright, well see ya Monday” the older man said as he left through the side door.
The cold air of the outside nipped at the leader’s small amounts of exposed skin. Lighting a cigarette up and taking a puff, he proceeded to his car across the lot. His eyes mindlessly glancing over anything and everything lit by the dim glow of the nearby street lamp.
His own car was at the far end of the parking lot. As he approached his vehicle, his attention was caught by something else. Not far from his own car was a shiny silver Mercedes Benz.
It wasn’t the car’s luxurious brand name or colour that attracted him. It was the fogged windows and subtle rocking that made the leader lift an eyebrow in intrigue.
Exhaling a trail of smoke he mumbled “…the hell?”
Walking over to the car he couldn't help but allow a grin to cross his face. He knew why the windows were fogged up. Now he just wanted to know by whom.
Shinya watched Kaoru leave before gathering the rest of his things. He did have plans this weekend involving his new power tool! He just didn't feel like mentioning it to Kaoru, for fear of teasing like last time when he became obsessed with measuring things.
Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he went out the same side door that Kaoru had just left through moments earlier. He was surprised to still see the leader standing in the parking lot. By now he should be in his car driving home. He turned and grabbed for the door in hopes of being able to go back inside in order to avoid Kaoru, but sadly just missed the handle.
Shutting in his face, the door locked from the inside. With a sigh, he turned around to face his leader who was still staring at his car....wait, that’s not his car?
With quiet toes Shinya tried his best to walk without a sound to avoid drawing Kaoru's attention. Whatever it was the older man was looking at he was sure to tell everyone Monday. Tiptoeing in the shadows Shinya tried to stay completly out of the dim light, but was finally forced to step away from the shadows in order to reach his car, only four feet away. Quietly and quickly the youngest man stepped into the light and began his fast paced quiet run to his car.
"Shinya." Kaoru called causing the young man to freeze in mid step. "Shinya come here."
"What . . . How did . . . What?" The younger man quietly fought under his breath.
Taking a look at where his feet were then at his car, Shinya began contemplating how long it would take him to close the final distance between him and his vehical, pull out his keys, unlock it, get in, start it, and drive away.
"About three minutes." He mumbled quietly to himself.
"Shinya come . . . Come here." Kaoru repeated a little more excited.
The younger man ran his hand through his hair and mumbled again, "Three minutes." Then began walking towards Kaoru. "Three more freaking minutes and I could've been home free."
With a sigh, he approached his leader, curious as to why he was staring at some random car. That’s when he noticed the fogged windows, the slight rocking and the creepy amusement on Kaoru’s face- OMG PEOPLE WERE HAVING SEX IN THAT CAR!
“Kaoru!” Shinya gasped.
He grabbed at the perverted old man’s sleeve. “Don’t look!” he hissed desperately.
"But Shinya look!"
"Stop it Kaoru!" The younger man shouted in a whisper while throwing his hands up to obscure the elder’s vision.
"Shinya" Kaoru scolded. "Just help me figure out who they are."
"Kaoru!" The younger man said putting his finger in Kaoru's face. "Don't you have something better to do than watch porn?"
"No" the leader answered and pushed Shinya's finger away. "Not real life porn anyways."
“Why does it even matter who they are!?” Shinya protested in vain.
“Come on! How often do you find people fucking in a car? I’m just curious...it’s funny, maybe I could use it for blackmail...” Kaoru smirked.
“This is so wrong...” Shinya shook his head.
“Do you recognize them?”
Shinya took a closer look beyond the hazy windows and realized it was actually two men in the car. His eyes widened with the sudden realization of who it might be.
The younger man quickly turned around and obnoxiously shouted loud, "I could be home right now playing with my new power tool!"
Kaoru finally tore his long creepy gaze from the car, "Your what?"
"My power tool Kaoru." The young man said sternly. "But noooooo." He drew out the word obnoxiously.
"Shinya be quiet." Kaoru hushed as his eyes darted from the younger man making a scene to the rocking car. "You'll disturb them."
"Are you kidding me? You dragged me over here to see two men, men, screwing each other in a car and you're complaining that I'm going to disturb them?" The last sentence coming out loud and sarcastic. "And what, you think when one of them finally glances out the window and sees your creepy ass staring back at them with your shit eating grin, that that wouldn't disturb them?"
“Shinya shut up!” Kaoru hushed but it was too late. The car came to a standstill.
It was apparent that the people inside knew they were being watched and the car started moving again from the two men hurriedly getting dressed.
Kaoru started laughing at the situation while Shinya felt beyond embarrassed for everyone involved in this situation.
“Kaoru let’s go!” he tried in one final attempt, pulling the other’s arm insistently.
"No no no no." Kaoru said grabbing Shinya's hand and holding it like a father would his son. "There are four cars in this lot: yours, mine, and two others."
"So?" Shinya questioned while trying to pull his hand free.
"So, that means one of them has to get out of that car and go to the other unclaimed car." He pointed to his left towards a car.
"No. That doesn't mean anything." The younger man objected and pulled his hand free. "Besides that's Toshiya's car."
Shinya paused at registering the name he had just spoken.
Kaoru looked at the fourth car again, "That . . . That . . . That is Toshiya's car . . . Isn't it?"
“Why do you even care? Kaoru, you’re being such a pervert right now! Stop being such a fucking creep. This has NOTHING to do with you! Now come!” Shinya started to shift his weight, pulling Kaoru by the hand that held him. His thin body didn’t help much and they remained in place.
Shinya’s eyes widened as the car windows began to un-fog. Kaoru did not need to know and Shinya didn’t need to have his suspicions confirmed either.
“Come on Kao! Let’s go!”
“Holy shit I think that is Toshiya!” the other exclaimed way too excited at the prospect of uncovering his friend having sex...with another man...in a car. "I must say I did have my suspicions about him." He looked at Shinya. "I had ones about you too." He finished smugly.
Shinya's eyes widened. "I am not gay Kaoru!"
"So you say. Watch on Monday I'll catch you out here in a Prius with some dude."
"Not all gay men drive Priuses, Kaoru." Shinya scolded. "I mean look. Toshiya doesn't and neither does Kyo."
Again Shinya paused at the name that had slipped from his lips.
"And that is Kyo's car, isn't it?" Kaoru asked a little stunned.
"THREE MINUTES KAORU!" Shinya shouted while holding three fingers up in Kaoru's face. "THREE FUCKING MINUTES!"
"What does three minutes have to do with anything?" Kaoru asked in a calm normal voice.
"It would've taken me three minutes from where I was at when you called me, to run to my car, unlock it, get in, and drive away without coming over here." Again he shoved three fingers into his leaders face.
“So?” the guitarist replied unaffected by Shinya’s anger.
“I DID NOT NEED TO WITNESS THIS!” the drummer exasperated.
“But aren’t you glad you did?” the other laughed clearly enjoying the younger’s discomfort.
Shinya was on the verge of punching the obnoxious leader in the face.
Before things got violent, they heard a car door opening and turned their heads in time to see Toshiya rushing to his own car. He was half-dressed and carrying the rest of his clothing in his arms.
Kaoru busted up laughing and pointed at the half naked running man.
"Stop it." Shinya ordered jabbing the older man in the side.
"I knew it!" He laughed. "I knew it. I knew it. I knew it!" He continued laughing. "I just didn't know that Kyo was too." He pointed at the silver car before them and continued laughing.
"Kaoru." Shinya scolded trying to cover the older man mouth with his hand. "Shut up."
Shinya just wanted to die in that moment while Kaoru continued his laughing fit. They heard some more scuffling and Toshiya was safely in his own car, on the verge of driving away like Shinya should have been... if it wasn’t for his boss.
“YOU’RE SUCH A PERVERT!” he yelled and walked away frustrated.
"Watch out so you don't get hit by any of these guys scrambling to get away, Shin." The leader yelled to Shinya as he somewhat ran to his car.
As Shinya was fiddling with his keys, he heard a commotion and turned around to witness a new scene.
Kyo had gotten out of his own car and was yelling at Kaoru, something along the lines of being a “sick old man” and to “fuck off.”
Shinya smirked to himself, the guitarist definitely deserved this.
"And you!" Shinya heard Kyo shout and point towards him.
They youngest man pointed at himself in suprise and mouthed, "Me?"
"Yes you!" The tiny blonde continued to shout as he approached the innocent drummer. "You watched too!"
"Unwillingly." Shinya corrected and stuck his keys into his car to unlock it.
“Don’t lie to me!” the singer raged on.
“I was trying to get Kaoru to stop!” Shinya tried to defend himself. To think, if he would have just ignored Kaoru, he could be at home right now with Miyu relaxing with his power tool.
“Just calm down Kyo” Kaoru tried to lighten the situation.
“NO! You fucking asshole! You stood there and watched me have sex with my boyfriend! How sick are you!?” Kyo was furious.
"Boyfriend?" Kaoru asked. "This isn’t a first time thing with you two?"
"Fuck no! And it ain't gonna be the last!" Kyo bit.
"So you two," Kaoru tried to hide his laughter. "You two do this often?" He slightly giggled at the end.
"You should probably just go." Shinya informed Kyo. "He's just going to keep laughing at you."
“HIM!? Laughing at me!? He’s the pervert watching me have car sex! He shouldn’t be laughing!”
Shinya looked up to see Toshiya approaching them, fully dressed now. Kaoru continued to chuckle like an idiot and Kyo was shooting daggers at the eldest. It was tense and Shinya just wanted to get into his car and retire to the safety of his home.
When Toshiya had reached them, he placed a hand on Kyo’s shoulder, looking at the ground, not wanting to meet Kaoru’s or Shinya’s eyes.
"What's eating you?" Kaoru asked nudging the bassist’s side. "Other than Kyo." The leader said busting up laughing once again.
Toshiya looked up with a frown at their immature leader. When he wouldn’t stop laughing, the bassist just couldn’t take it anymore and gave him a hard punch on the shoulder.
“You! I can’t believe you!” Everything about this evening had gone terribly wrong due to Kaoru and it felt good to retaliate.
"Me!? I wasn't the one have sex in a car!" Kaoru shouted as he rubbed his shoulder.
"You were the pervert watching!"
"You had no right Kaoru!" Kyo added in his own shout.
Soon Kaoru, Kyo, and Toshiya had all began yelling at each other while Shinya stood idly next to his car, unable to open the door without hitting someone and possibly scratching the paint.
"I JUST WANT TO GO HOME, FEED MY DOG, AND PLAY WITH NEW GOD DAMNED POWER TOOL! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!?" Shinya shouted above everyone else making them fall silent as the youngest man there finished his shouting.
"Who yanked your chain?" Toshiya asked a little snotty.
"I . . . Eh . . . Wha . . ." Shinya stumbled for words. "Get . . . Get . . . Get out of the way." He shooed the three older men with his hands. "Get away from my car." The drummer continued to bat them away with his hands until it was clear enough to open his door without fear of damage coming to his car. "I will see you guys Monday." The youngest man said as he stepped into his vehical and closed the door. "That was the longest three fucking minutes of my life." He mumbled as he started his car and drove away.