FFVII ficlet: like a boat
FFVII, 800 words. Somewhere between Cloud/Aeris and Zack/Aeris and all three, set right after the date at the Gold Saucer. Title from Rie Fu:
if you ever need someone to come along/I will follow you and keep you strong
like a boat
He stands for a long time in the hallway, one hand pressed against the door to his room as he tries to shake the feeling that the world has been inverted, again. The sense of peace that he'd felt when she'd smiled at him in the warm dimness of the gondola is gone, leaving empty, helpless resignation in its wake. The sensation is sharply familiar, and his head aches with it.
He takes a deep breath, and pushes through the door just as another ghost-puppet wobbles its way along the hall; the exaggerated creak of the hinges is drowned in its rattle and moan. He doesn't know how he'll sleep, here, but it's better than the alternative. He's dreading Barret's reaction to this latest disaster.
"Cloud?"
He starts despite himself at the unexpected sound, blinking his eyes clear. Somehow it's not really a surprise to find her sitting on one of the beds, watching him with an expression that's half smile and half shadow. He can still hear her voice, feel the imprint of her fingers on his jaw: I want to meet… you. The fireworks had reflected in her eyes.
"Aeris?" He wonders why his stomach suddenly feels tight with unease. "What's wrong?"
The shadows fade at that, and he feels a strange relief; she shouldn't be sad, he thinks, or worried. Her smiles had always been… He blinks, wondering where that had come from. Sometimes he wonders whether he'd know his real self if he found it - and whether he'd want to.
"Nothing's wrong, silly." Her smile is beautiful, enough to make him ache in ways he doesn't understand. Cloud can feel his face heating; he steps uncertainly away from the door, feeling suddenly awkward.
"It's late," he mumbles for lack of anything better to say. "We should get some rest…"
"Cloud?" She steps towards him, one hand held out, and he starts a little. "I never got to finish what I was going to say, you know."
"Huh?" It's all he can muster; he feels off-balance, uncertain, and grasps desperately for some kind of composure - he's stronger than this, he knows what he's doing - doesn't he?
"Thank you." She rests her hand on his chest, over his heart, and smiles up at him. "Tonight was beautiful. Do I get my goodnight kiss?"
It takes him a good ten seconds to even realise that he's gaping at her; he snaps his mouth shut, flushing and certain that she can feel the sudden thunder of his heartbeat. This is nothing like before; he reels, feeling like he's caught in a Confuse spell and desperately trying to find his centre. "…Aeris?" It comes out as an almost terrified whisper, and his face burns. The urge to bolt is almost too strong for him, and only her hand on his chest keeps him in place.
"It's all right, Cloud." There's something luminous about her face, that sweet smile that makes his breath catch even as it seems to see right through him. "I'll help you find it - who you really are."
Then her mouth is on his, and he can't move. He's lost, drowning in thoughts and feelings that seem to come from all sides at once - within and without, and he can't tell whether there are two of him, or three, or four; all that's holding him together is the touch of her hands.
"Ah." She pulls back with a soft sound, hands sliding up to his shoulders. He stares helplessly down at her, nothing in his head now but white, deafening silence. He doesn't understand why her smile is suddenly so sad, and he's vaguely surprised when his arms wrap around her, holding her close.
"You don't even remember, do you?" she murmurs, touching the side of his face. "Hey, Cloud - will you let me help you? While I can?"
"Aeris?" He doesn't understand, he thinks, but her hand on his cheek is soft and warm; he leans into it and she smiles, pulling him gently backwards towards the bed.
"It's all right, Cloud. It's going to be all right, I promise." She kisses him again, and he finds himself responding, hesitantly; it must be so clear that he doesn't know what he's doing, but she doesn't laugh. He feels clumsy and childish and so very weak, and she doesn't laugh at him, only smiles and kisses him again and guides his hands.
It's gentle, and slow, and she clings to him afterwards like she's afraid she's already lost him. He falls into sleep to the feel of her hands in his hair, and dreams in hazy images of white and green and the sound of her voice: You'll find it, soon. Believe in yourself. When he wakes, she's still watching him, still smiling as she rises from the bed and holds out a hand.
"Let's go, Cloud."
if you ever need someone to come along/I will follow you and keep you strong
like a boat
He stands for a long time in the hallway, one hand pressed against the door to his room as he tries to shake the feeling that the world has been inverted, again. The sense of peace that he'd felt when she'd smiled at him in the warm dimness of the gondola is gone, leaving empty, helpless resignation in its wake. The sensation is sharply familiar, and his head aches with it.
He takes a deep breath, and pushes through the door just as another ghost-puppet wobbles its way along the hall; the exaggerated creak of the hinges is drowned in its rattle and moan. He doesn't know how he'll sleep, here, but it's better than the alternative. He's dreading Barret's reaction to this latest disaster.
"Cloud?"
He starts despite himself at the unexpected sound, blinking his eyes clear. Somehow it's not really a surprise to find her sitting on one of the beds, watching him with an expression that's half smile and half shadow. He can still hear her voice, feel the imprint of her fingers on his jaw: I want to meet… you. The fireworks had reflected in her eyes.
"Aeris?" He wonders why his stomach suddenly feels tight with unease. "What's wrong?"
The shadows fade at that, and he feels a strange relief; she shouldn't be sad, he thinks, or worried. Her smiles had always been… He blinks, wondering where that had come from. Sometimes he wonders whether he'd know his real self if he found it - and whether he'd want to.
"Nothing's wrong, silly." Her smile is beautiful, enough to make him ache in ways he doesn't understand. Cloud can feel his face heating; he steps uncertainly away from the door, feeling suddenly awkward.
"It's late," he mumbles for lack of anything better to say. "We should get some rest…"
"Cloud?" She steps towards him, one hand held out, and he starts a little. "I never got to finish what I was going to say, you know."
"Huh?" It's all he can muster; he feels off-balance, uncertain, and grasps desperately for some kind of composure - he's stronger than this, he knows what he's doing - doesn't he?
"Thank you." She rests her hand on his chest, over his heart, and smiles up at him. "Tonight was beautiful. Do I get my goodnight kiss?"
It takes him a good ten seconds to even realise that he's gaping at her; he snaps his mouth shut, flushing and certain that she can feel the sudden thunder of his heartbeat. This is nothing like before; he reels, feeling like he's caught in a Confuse spell and desperately trying to find his centre. "…Aeris?" It comes out as an almost terrified whisper, and his face burns. The urge to bolt is almost too strong for him, and only her hand on his chest keeps him in place.
"It's all right, Cloud." There's something luminous about her face, that sweet smile that makes his breath catch even as it seems to see right through him. "I'll help you find it - who you really are."
Then her mouth is on his, and he can't move. He's lost, drowning in thoughts and feelings that seem to come from all sides at once - within and without, and he can't tell whether there are two of him, or three, or four; all that's holding him together is the touch of her hands.
"Ah." She pulls back with a soft sound, hands sliding up to his shoulders. He stares helplessly down at her, nothing in his head now but white, deafening silence. He doesn't understand why her smile is suddenly so sad, and he's vaguely surprised when his arms wrap around her, holding her close.
"You don't even remember, do you?" she murmurs, touching the side of his face. "Hey, Cloud - will you let me help you? While I can?"
"Aeris?" He doesn't understand, he thinks, but her hand on his cheek is soft and warm; he leans into it and she smiles, pulling him gently backwards towards the bed.
"It's all right, Cloud. It's going to be all right, I promise." She kisses him again, and he finds himself responding, hesitantly; it must be so clear that he doesn't know what he's doing, but she doesn't laugh. He feels clumsy and childish and so very weak, and she doesn't laugh at him, only smiles and kisses him again and guides his hands.
It's gentle, and slow, and she clings to him afterwards like she's afraid she's already lost him. He falls into sleep to the feel of her hands in his hair, and dreams in hazy images of white and green and the sound of her voice: You'll find it, soon. Believe in yourself. When he wakes, she's still watching him, still smiling as she rises from the bed and holds out a hand.
"Let's go, Cloud."