tentacle crackficlet
Untitled ficlet/ficbit: set in ciceqi's Awful Bliss universe.
-Implied Seph/Zack/Cloud
-950 words
-PG-ish
-Tentacles. Vaguely cracked and definitely pointless. Eh. Obviously today is for tentacle fic. *goes to post the other one*
"-and Aeris' mom nearly had a heart attack, so I thought maybe it would just be easier to get out of here for a while." Cloud's voice over the PHS was earnest and a little hopeful, and Zack nodded thoughtfully before remembering that Cloud couldn't actually see him. A suited Shinra drone plastered herself to the wall as he slithered by, looking like her legs might give out on her; Zack waved an absent tentacle in her direction - probably not reassuring, but damn it he was concentrating on keeping the others to himself, it ought to count for something.
"And maybe without people around, the Gen - I mean, Sephiroth might not be so…" Cloud trailed off, and Zack could just see him biting his lip, honesty at war with his ingrained awe of Seph.
"Cranky?" Zack suggested, oozing carefully around a corner. While getting their carpets slimed up was probably the least Shinra deserved - and Seph had ripped doors off their hinges and buckled walls on his way in - he'd been a SOLDIER too long to like the idea of leaving any kind of tracks. "That's not a bad idea, Spike; if he wrings Hojo out any more the - oh shit."
"Zack?" Cloud sounded panicked, and Zack couldn't really blame him; things weren't exactly normal right now.
"We have a situation." The nervous-looking secretary hovering outside Seph's door was far too familiar, and that could only mean one thing. "Damn it - how fast can you get here?" The tentacles were flailing wildly, knotting and unknotting, and the secretary took one look at him, turned white, and bolted. Which left her boss in Sephiroth's private quarters, with an already-agitated General, and any way you looked at it that wasn't a good equation.
Gasping from the run, Cloud skidded around the corner just in time to see Heidegger come flying out of Sephiroth's doorway so hard that he bounced off the wall and flopped onto the floor, unconscious or dead. Cloud winced, understanding now why Zack had called this a situation. Why anyone would want to bother the General, now of all times…
He peered carefully around the side of the doorframe, ready to duck in case someone else was about to be forcefully ejected. Zack was half in front of Sephiroth, talking softly and urgently as his tentacles wrapped around the General's in an attempt to calm their lashing - and Sephiroth was more than half snarling, furious glare fixed on Scarlet, who was smirking in the centre of the room.
Definitely a situation, Cloud decided nervously as he crept past Heidegger's prone form - he was breathing, at least - and into the room. Scarlet looked entirely out of place in Sephiroth's utilitarian apartment, and the way she was watching the writhing tentacles was… Cloud clenched his fists.
"Now, General." Scarlet laughed affectedly, covering her mouth with one taloned hand. "I'm sure you can spare a few - it's not as though you'll be using them, after all," and she eyed him up and down, lingering again on the tentacles with a knowing smirk. Sephiroth made a dangerous noise, and Cloud saw Zack wince as Scarlet licked her lips.
"I will not give up my materia for Shinra's convenience," Sephiroth started, but Zack put a hand on his shoulder, murmuring something Cloud couldn't hear before he raised his voice.
"There's that Fire materia on your desk…" Sephiroth opened his mouth, tentacles twisting agitatedly, but Zack shook his head fractionally. "If they want to put on a show, after all, that's the least you can give 'em."
"Excellent," Scarlet purred, eyes still fixed on the tentacles. That was the last straw; glaring, Cloud marched across the room, taking up position next to the General. Several tentacles immediately wound themselves around his ankles, clutching at him possessively, and he could see Zack's shoulders shaking, but Scarlet ignored him utterly.
"Well, General, do let us know how you… get on," she tossed back over her shoulder as she turned to leave, smirking; her hips seemed to swing even more than usual as she strutted out of the room, and Cloud made a face, ignoring the tentacle - probably Zack's - that was stealthily winding its way up past his knee.
"You should have allowed me to strangle her." Sephiroth sounded aggrieved and more than a little horrified, and if the lashing patterns of his tentacles as they boiled across the floor were any indication, he was still very angry.
"Believe me, she had me reconsidering it," Zack muttered with an exaggerated shudder, tentacles still trying to curl around and contain Sephiroth's. "Breathe, Seph, and let's get the hell out of here before she comes back."
Sephiroth didn't look particularly mollified, but his tentacles did quiet a little; absently, Cloud reached out to stroke one, shivering a little when it curled around his wrist.
"Why do they want materia anyway?" he asked cautiously, not wanting to set the General off again. The tentacle twitched, but held fast as Sephiroth glared at nothing.
Zack was the one to explain: "Eh, the President's birthday's coming up, and they all want to show off. I hear she's planning a fireworks display."
"Huh -" Cloud broke off, squeaking embarrassingly as the exploratory tentacle slid up his inner thigh. "Zack! Not now!"
"At least attempt to control yourself," Sephiroth muttered, though he didn't let go of Cloud either. "I still do not understand why you informed her of -"
"Easy, Seph." Zack made a soothing motion with one hand; the tentacle retreated, but not very far. "I already got all the good stuff from your office, remember? The only one left's the slime materia." He grinned, wicked and unrepentant as ever. "Man, are they going to be in for a surprise."
-Implied Seph/Zack/Cloud
-950 words
-PG-ish
-Tentacles. Vaguely cracked and definitely pointless. Eh. Obviously today is for tentacle fic. *goes to post the other one*
"-and Aeris' mom nearly had a heart attack, so I thought maybe it would just be easier to get out of here for a while." Cloud's voice over the PHS was earnest and a little hopeful, and Zack nodded thoughtfully before remembering that Cloud couldn't actually see him. A suited Shinra drone plastered herself to the wall as he slithered by, looking like her legs might give out on her; Zack waved an absent tentacle in her direction - probably not reassuring, but damn it he was concentrating on keeping the others to himself, it ought to count for something.
"And maybe without people around, the Gen - I mean, Sephiroth might not be so…" Cloud trailed off, and Zack could just see him biting his lip, honesty at war with his ingrained awe of Seph.
"Cranky?" Zack suggested, oozing carefully around a corner. While getting their carpets slimed up was probably the least Shinra deserved - and Seph had ripped doors off their hinges and buckled walls on his way in - he'd been a SOLDIER too long to like the idea of leaving any kind of tracks. "That's not a bad idea, Spike; if he wrings Hojo out any more the - oh shit."
"Zack?" Cloud sounded panicked, and Zack couldn't really blame him; things weren't exactly normal right now.
"We have a situation." The nervous-looking secretary hovering outside Seph's door was far too familiar, and that could only mean one thing. "Damn it - how fast can you get here?" The tentacles were flailing wildly, knotting and unknotting, and the secretary took one look at him, turned white, and bolted. Which left her boss in Sephiroth's private quarters, with an already-agitated General, and any way you looked at it that wasn't a good equation.
Gasping from the run, Cloud skidded around the corner just in time to see Heidegger come flying out of Sephiroth's doorway so hard that he bounced off the wall and flopped onto the floor, unconscious or dead. Cloud winced, understanding now why Zack had called this a situation. Why anyone would want to bother the General, now of all times…
He peered carefully around the side of the doorframe, ready to duck in case someone else was about to be forcefully ejected. Zack was half in front of Sephiroth, talking softly and urgently as his tentacles wrapped around the General's in an attempt to calm their lashing - and Sephiroth was more than half snarling, furious glare fixed on Scarlet, who was smirking in the centre of the room.
Definitely a situation, Cloud decided nervously as he crept past Heidegger's prone form - he was breathing, at least - and into the room. Scarlet looked entirely out of place in Sephiroth's utilitarian apartment, and the way she was watching the writhing tentacles was… Cloud clenched his fists.
"Now, General." Scarlet laughed affectedly, covering her mouth with one taloned hand. "I'm sure you can spare a few - it's not as though you'll be using them, after all," and she eyed him up and down, lingering again on the tentacles with a knowing smirk. Sephiroth made a dangerous noise, and Cloud saw Zack wince as Scarlet licked her lips.
"I will not give up my materia for Shinra's convenience," Sephiroth started, but Zack put a hand on his shoulder, murmuring something Cloud couldn't hear before he raised his voice.
"There's that Fire materia on your desk…" Sephiroth opened his mouth, tentacles twisting agitatedly, but Zack shook his head fractionally. "If they want to put on a show, after all, that's the least you can give 'em."
"Excellent," Scarlet purred, eyes still fixed on the tentacles. That was the last straw; glaring, Cloud marched across the room, taking up position next to the General. Several tentacles immediately wound themselves around his ankles, clutching at him possessively, and he could see Zack's shoulders shaking, but Scarlet ignored him utterly.
"Well, General, do let us know how you… get on," she tossed back over her shoulder as she turned to leave, smirking; her hips seemed to swing even more than usual as she strutted out of the room, and Cloud made a face, ignoring the tentacle - probably Zack's - that was stealthily winding its way up past his knee.
"You should have allowed me to strangle her." Sephiroth sounded aggrieved and more than a little horrified, and if the lashing patterns of his tentacles as they boiled across the floor were any indication, he was still very angry.
"Believe me, she had me reconsidering it," Zack muttered with an exaggerated shudder, tentacles still trying to curl around and contain Sephiroth's. "Breathe, Seph, and let's get the hell out of here before she comes back."
Sephiroth didn't look particularly mollified, but his tentacles did quiet a little; absently, Cloud reached out to stroke one, shivering a little when it curled around his wrist.
"Why do they want materia anyway?" he asked cautiously, not wanting to set the General off again. The tentacle twitched, but held fast as Sephiroth glared at nothing.
Zack was the one to explain: "Eh, the President's birthday's coming up, and they all want to show off. I hear she's planning a fireworks display."
"Huh -" Cloud broke off, squeaking embarrassingly as the exploratory tentacle slid up his inner thigh. "Zack! Not now!"
"At least attempt to control yourself," Sephiroth muttered, though he didn't let go of Cloud either. "I still do not understand why you informed her of -"
"Easy, Seph." Zack made a soothing motion with one hand; the tentacle retreated, but not very far. "I already got all the good stuff from your office, remember? The only one left's the slime materia." He grinned, wicked and unrepentant as ever. "Man, are they going to be in for a surprise."