Workweek Round-up (as Promised)
Work-week Round up. Under the cut. Really interesting and intense week!
This job isn't even close to what I thought it was going to be. I thought I'd be sharing a LOT more about my experiences in the NICU with moms and have that be my main purpose but thats not even close. Actually, I have only heard my co-workers mention their experience a few times. I feel like we should share more that we've been in their shoes so they can feel more connected to us & trust us a bit more and therefore join our study. But--I guess there's a big risk of over-sharing or scaring them or being "too much" so its not like that at all.
They REALLY tried to warn me about how hard it is emotionally to be there. I was really nieve thinking I could handle it so easily. A few things have hit me really hard emotionally. I've had to sort of de-tox and talk it out w/co-workers and/or Rob. My co-workers are bit cliquish but everyone is nice and I fit in well I think. We'll see how that goes. I really love 2 of them and wish they were my BFFs. I guess you never know down the line. But here's whats hit me
1) Seeing old nurses
2) Realizing that most babies...even the super tiny ones like Kason....dont have long stays. They get better---quicker. This was by FAR the hardest hitting thing. I always knew his course was intense and abnormal but Idk. Just seeing these families and thinking "wow they are so lucky" but knowing that 1 day in the NICU is too many days. I felt gipt all over again. it also made me think like "wow Declan is 4 months & Kason wasn't even half way to home at this point!". Just very tough.
3) This one baby was on all the machines Kase was at all the same settings. Everyone (doctors, nurses, social workers, co-workers) were basically saying how he was a goner and he'd never, ever make it. I was so MAD that they were counting him out. I mean, Kason was in his exact shoes & he lived. And then it hit me that this shit probably was said about Kason all the time. I felt heartbroken for the family. BUT--today baby was doing better so I have faith he'll pull through.
Other then the emotional stuff I think i'm getting things down. :) I am still nervous to introduce the study to people but I am feeling confident in going over binders and signing things with them & all other areas. Im going to do a binder & get paperwork signed on Monday. I really want to do it on my own and not have someone standing over me--BUT I have to take it step by step.
There are so many cool things about this job. The time flies by. Its not boring at all. It does not really feel like work either. I'm learning a TON from the social workers. Its like free therapy! I'm not telling them my problems but just hearing how they reason and talk about things--it makes me sort of think like them! Being part of a research study and seeing how that works and data collection and such is awesome too. I really am learning WAY more than I ever thought I could!
Also, I got paid today and it was nice to see some money in the bank! :) Go Me!
This job isn't even close to what I thought it was going to be. I thought I'd be sharing a LOT more about my experiences in the NICU with moms and have that be my main purpose but thats not even close. Actually, I have only heard my co-workers mention their experience a few times. I feel like we should share more that we've been in their shoes so they can feel more connected to us & trust us a bit more and therefore join our study. But--I guess there's a big risk of over-sharing or scaring them or being "too much" so its not like that at all.
They REALLY tried to warn me about how hard it is emotionally to be there. I was really nieve thinking I could handle it so easily. A few things have hit me really hard emotionally. I've had to sort of de-tox and talk it out w/co-workers and/or Rob. My co-workers are bit cliquish but everyone is nice and I fit in well I think. We'll see how that goes. I really love 2 of them and wish they were my BFFs. I guess you never know down the line. But here's whats hit me
1) Seeing old nurses
2) Realizing that most babies...even the super tiny ones like Kason....dont have long stays. They get better---quicker. This was by FAR the hardest hitting thing. I always knew his course was intense and abnormal but Idk. Just seeing these families and thinking "wow they are so lucky" but knowing that 1 day in the NICU is too many days. I felt gipt all over again. it also made me think like "wow Declan is 4 months & Kason wasn't even half way to home at this point!". Just very tough.
3) This one baby was on all the machines Kase was at all the same settings. Everyone (doctors, nurses, social workers, co-workers) were basically saying how he was a goner and he'd never, ever make it. I was so MAD that they were counting him out. I mean, Kason was in his exact shoes & he lived. And then it hit me that this shit probably was said about Kason all the time. I felt heartbroken for the family. BUT--today baby was doing better so I have faith he'll pull through.
Other then the emotional stuff I think i'm getting things down. :) I am still nervous to introduce the study to people but I am feeling confident in going over binders and signing things with them & all other areas. Im going to do a binder & get paperwork signed on Monday. I really want to do it on my own and not have someone standing over me--BUT I have to take it step by step.
There are so many cool things about this job. The time flies by. Its not boring at all. It does not really feel like work either. I'm learning a TON from the social workers. Its like free therapy! I'm not telling them my problems but just hearing how they reason and talk about things--it makes me sort of think like them! Being part of a research study and seeing how that works and data collection and such is awesome too. I really am learning WAY more than I ever thought I could!
Also, I got paid today and it was nice to see some money in the bank! :) Go Me!