I never know when it's gonna be the last time. I think that's the source of most of my anxiety. I have feelings that stem from that; I'm not sure how to deal with them.

The most addictive drug I know has a heartbeat and treats me worse than a pill ever did..

David hates me meanwhile I'm tryna get Danny to realize he loves me too before he's 25. Life of a crazy person.

I miss Romeo. I can always count on him for a laugh or random hookup. He's my bestie and always delivers. I always feel good after spending time with him. I just fear the day when we can't.

Somehow I ended up spending another evening with Romeo, intentions completely tame. Idk how I always end up txtn this mofo and not the person I intended but whatever. I enjoyed his company and we talked a lot again. I'm sure he's started to intrigue me but I feel weird now even tho nothing happened. I just feel like we're closer. I just wish I knew ( Read more... )

I have no idea how my friends and associates fucking deal with my shit, especially Tokyo. I'm a fucking lunatic with an altered sense of reality. I live a life of delusions and instead of wondering if ppl like me or not, I assume everyone worships me in some sense so that esteem is no problem. The fact that I'm gullible does ( Read more... )

I need new thotties. I haven't smashed in a couple weeks. Can't count my best bud, he's not on my ho roster. It just sorta happened. Lord knows I damn needed it but it's been a week now and I'm getting that familiar itch ( Read more... )

If I haven't been sure about anything else before, I'm pretty sure my bestfriends did something together, throwing me out of the loop thus tossing me into this self-destructive cycle in my midlife crisis ( Read more... )

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Julia said I have a problem with my attraction to white boys. I fail to see how that's relevant to anything if my goal is to collect a myriad of culture. It's just, I lose myself in lust. Oh man, post college life is more intense than I'd imagine.

I think Niel is justified in avoiding me. I figured that much out. I'm just taking the high road in the fact that from time to time he drops by methinks to let me know he's okay and doesn't hate me completely; I just need time to get over him and he's giving me that. I just keep fucking up and letting him know that my feelings haven't gone ( Read more... )

So he doesn't trust me enough for us to be considered friends and I have this complete inability to believe anything he says so why do we even deal with each other anymore if just being around him bums me out? That's no fun. I don't like being toyed with. What a horrible feeling of manipulation.