[Fic] Gintama: If You're Going to Get Sick, Aim For The Window

May 09, 2007 23:31

The last time I posted anything even remotely resembling a fic was last year, in August. That's not to say I haven't been attempting to write or entertain plunnies between now and then though-because I have been trying my goddamn hardest to finish something, anything. It's just really gotten to the point where trying to write something and have it go somewhere is like catching a door. With your face. D:

... I'm going to go draw more after this.

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Title: If You're Going To Get Sick, Aim For The Window

Series/Characters: [Gintama] Hijikata Toushirou, Okita Sougo, mention of Kondou

Disclaimer: Sorachi’s genius brainchild of glorious inappropriateness abounds. I only hope I can learn something from his example.

Word Count: 413

Notes: It's been a while. Like, a while. Almost a year? I don't know why I even try anymore. D: Oh right, BECAUSE RES KEEPS ON FANGIRLING FOR GINTAMA AND THE PLUNNIES ARE NUMEROUS AND HORNY. FUCK. This thing’s short; it’s stupid. And deep like a sidewalk puddle with questionable humor, heavy drinking on Hijikata’s part, Okita’s usual covetousness of the vice-commander’s position and all the murderous attempts that that entails.

Dedication: For cubicle_days-who really should get into Reborn! so I'm not the only one being dragged by the neck through one brilliant series with a fledgling fandom.

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If You’re Going to Get Sick, Aim For The Window
by kasugai gummie

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The first time Hijikata gets drunk with Okita as the only witness within the Shinsengumi compound is also the last. Or it will be the last once he somehow gets himself out of the situation at hand. For now the goal is to stay alive in order to demote the little bastard and seppuku him with a spoon later.

“I want you to commit seppuku with this spoon before I demote you,” Hijikata says, offering said implement of assisted suicide to the fuzzy bright thing that is probably his subordinate’s head.

His subordinate is nonplussed. In fact, he seems quite intrigued. “Hijikata-san, are you drunk?”

Hijikata scowls at the fuzzy bright thing that is probably his subordinate’s hand. Or a stick. “No. Yes. No-stop poking me!” Somehow the last bit comes out more petulant than he’d ever admit to.

His subordinate is unperturbed. In fact, he seems quite amused. “I’ve heard that drunks can’t remember anything that happens to them while drunk,” Okita carries on conversationally. “So I suppose now is as good a time as any for you to go die, right Hijikata-san?”

Hijikata contemplates his suddenly and magically brimming glass. The clear liquid distorts that fuzzy bright thing even further. Very pretty. “Are you trying to kill me again?” he demands.

“Of course not sir.”

“... you sure?”

“Yes sir!” Okita salutes smartly and then, somehow from somewhere, procures a mallet of obscene proportions. He smiles winningly. “Now, please hold still Hijikata-san; this is supposed to hurt you more than it hurts me.”

Rather belatedly, Hijikata thinks that maybe, just maybe, it isn’t exactly a good idea to drink in front of Sougo when there is a decided lack of Other People to testify for him when he’s charged for retaliatory homicide-in-self-defense. As he stares at the wood-latticed ceiling behind the pretty bursts of exploding fireworks, Hijikata swears to somehow sell the backstabbing brat to an unregistered Amanto slave colony without Kondo’s knowing. He makes this mental note to himself... never mind that he couldn’t even seem to remember his own name at the moment-how inconvenient.

“... are you still alive, Hijikata-san?” Okita huffs from somewhere to his upper left, sounding quite disappointed and no little peeved at the resiliency of the vice-commander’s head.

“Mmgnfuuucckkgh.”

“No, no. Please do move around more; you’re not agitating your injuries enough.”

“-gonnakeelyoo-urk”

“... and we just had the wood reworked too. Kondou’s going to have a cow. Good job Hijikata-san.”

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Fin
Completed: February 21, 2007
Revised: May 9, 2007

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Have two more Gintama WIPs in the wings in fact (alongside three ancient SlamDunk bits that are so close to being done that I could cry, and a Katekyo Hitman Reborn! ficlet that more or less makes fun of the fact that Hibari's committee all share the same 'do after volume... 3) and I predict those won't be done till kingdom come. Or something like that.

My internship starts on the May 21 and doesn't actually end till August 11 (I think? v_v) Not sure of my residency for that period of time, but will try to keep people updated on that front. Also, am working on a grand total of 30 minutes of sleep (and some vehicular dozing) for the past 40 hours. Why am I still alive? D8

AAAAND, SUMMER BREAK (ALL TWO WEEKS OF IT 8DDD) BEGIN! Am totally planning to sleep my life away. And maybe draw/write/watch movies till my brain rots. :X

[gintama], !fic

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