::cough:: So between this and the coloring of Dino, I think I've been successfully procrastinating on your GokuTsuna fic, imoutochan. That one transition just refuses to get written and though I'm sure I can get it done before the deadline... ::WHINE::
As always, this hasn't been edited yet. Crits, thoughts, errors seen, please speak up. :)
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Title: Twenty Facts About Hibari Kyouya (that he may have to kill you for, if they were true)
Series/Characters: [Reborn!] Hibari Kyouya
Disclaimer: Amano's. Am only playing.
Word Count: 905
Notes: Gen. Kind of violent, kind of stupid, kind of funny. In a word, Hibari.
Also available on
AO3.
Companion Pieces:
Mukuro ___________________________________________________________
Twenty Facts About Hibari Kyouya
(that he may have to kill you for, if they were true)
by kasugai gummie
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1) His mother was a daughter of the Triad. His father lorded over Shinjuku's most illicit firearms dealership. He was born and raised a predator, amongst predators.
2) He never really knew his parents. Not that he particularly cared. But he later learns to appreciate the irony of his surname (a skylark in a den of wolves) and remembers, sometimes, his mother's indulgent smile as she wiped away someone else's blood from his cheek.
Meanwhile, the equally figurative and very literal pile of bodies beneath his feet climbed higher.
3) There were expectations of him. He excelled them all, of course; then struck them down. His parents watched as he stretched his wings, seemingly uncaring for all intents and purposes (though he suspected his father a bit miffed that his second-best enforcer was forced into a coma). That was when he flew the nest.
4) He chose Namimori because the herbivores were many, as far as the eye could see, and the itch in his teeth had evolved into a pleasant ache. But there was that promise of discipline, too.
(In short, he found the black Namimori school uniforms to be more pleasing than the green of Kokuyoh-a lot more practical when it came to concealing blood stains.)
5) The truth is, Hibari’s the principal of the junior high school in everything but name. The only reason why he delegates the Reception Room to the Disciplinary Committee is because the main office is actually his bedroom.
6) Logic dictated that he patron a long-standing, well grounded institution. The hospital suited his purposes well-enough.
Seventy-two new inpatients later, Hibari and the hospital board director sat down to talk business over tea.
7) Somewhere along the line, Hibari learned how to perform proper Chadoh in its hours-long entirety. However, he still has some objections, based on principle, to sitting senzai. If he could, he would rather perform the whole thing standing.
8) By the time he began middle school, Hibari had developed a penchant to favour the more floral teas in spite of his natural inclinations towards matcha.
(Which is why having to dispose all of his
sweet sakura sea after that travesty of a rebuke from the foreign doctor irks him just enough to pay the infirmary an extra visit and clock the bastard a new one. Strange diseases be damned.)
9) For the longest time, Hibari fought with whatever came to hand: desk legs, potted plants, other students even-all were fair game.
It wasn’t until he brained an offender with his favorite Sado teacup, crushing the piece in the process, that he deemed it necessary to find himself a more permanent disciplinary instrument.
10) He’d worked his way through a sansetsukon, two old-man umbrellas, two retractable umbrellas, a pair of Okinawan surujin, and a coat stand before coming across the collapsible tonfas on Ebay.
The seller was quite the lucky fellow; not only was he physically located away far, far from Hibari’s immediate jurisdiction (the bastard having the gall to ship out two days later than the agreed-upon date), he also had the forethought to toss in a pack of optional “accessories.”
Hibari was pleased with his purchase.
11) A classmate, two years his senior, jokingly suggested he “name his weapons” and even went so far as to offer possible candidates written on post-it notes.
As was only fitting, Hibari christened the one tagged “Ahiru” on the idiot’s head, and then used “Suzume” to help him out the window. Defenestration was never made easier.
12) Some mindless simpletons prefer stripping down their modes of vehicular transportation to the gears, tuning and tricking up those pitiful toys for fun. (Unless they were even more insecure and had much to overcompensate for.) For Hibari it's nothing so irreverent. He might find enhancing his tonfas with hidden traps and sharps therapeutic. Maybe. Or, perhaps it’s simply for the satisfaction when the expressions of his victims-though varying in degrees of intensity-remain comfortingly unchanged with each new enhancement.
13) He’d been favoring the phrase “bite you dead” even before he installed the spikes. Something about the way bones crunched underneath the reinforced steel, like the kori kori of brittle foods between teeth.
14) Or he may just have something of an oral fixation.
15) The first thing Hibari notices in a person isn’t their face, but their stance. Their feet. And, depending on whether or not the weight is distributed correctly (on the balls of the heels or on the tips of the toes), he’ll know whether or not there will be a good hunt.
16) He has an IQ of 126 and the disposition of a dictator. He thinks history is one big mess of the powerfully stupid or the raving mad (and physically weak), and that the government is the biggest joke of them all.
Hibari knows where his limits aren’t and that knowledge puts him above the law.
17) Literature doesn’t interest him much anymore (or ever, for that matter); words are meaningless things.
18) Despite this, he keeps the Namimori Middle School handbook on him at all times, as well as a copy of Sonshi’s military treatise. The text is sparse; there is enough to carry the points across.
19) He has written poetry. Once. It was a haiku-splashes of hot tea; a sigh of cherry blossoms; thinning blood on steel.
The fleeting idea of sending the verse to his mother comes and goes-as does the gurgling breath of the unfortunate who dared disturb his meditative silence.
20) Hibari has never really been a child.
(Ergo the Committee-approved lunchroom rumors that he sprang from the womb, as is.)
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Fin
Completed: July 23, 2007
Edited: December 24, 2011
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Post-fic Notes:
8)
Sweet Sakura Tea, in part inspired by that one, uh,
8018_project scanlation. And by the drink itself.
10) Surujin is a chain-based weapon, rather like the European flail but with a single spike rather than a ball of spikes. Sansetsukon = tri-sectioned staff/三節棍.
11) “Ahiru” = duck; “Suzume” = sparrow.
18) Sonshi is the Japanese transliteration of Sun Tzu/Zi (孙子). I like to imagine the book he’s reading in volume 10 is either the school handbook, or The Art of War.
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Right... so now I either finish coloring Dino, the GokuTsuna fic, or I start another one of these 20 truths fics. 8D;
But first, coma sleep. =_=