DVD Commentary on Addiction
Third answer to the DVD Commentary Meme. pushkin666 wanted one on the waycest drabble Addiction.
DVD Commentary on Addiction
Writing incest pairings requires a bit more thought than others. The best stories are the ones where there are no easy answers. It is a big thing, and it is difficult, even if not wrong per se, and it should not be ignored or glossed over.
(Flyby rec: If you had not yet read the epic Missing Persons (Numb3rs, Don/Charlie) by dsudis yet, I urge you to do so immediately, even if, and perhaps especially if incest fic is not your thing. It is a stellar handling of some very difficult issues around incest and consent.)
Anyway, moving on to this fic.
The drabble takes place when Gerard and Mikey are relatively young, still living home certainly. What fascinates me about this (and others) incest pairings is the intense co-dependency, both necessary and twisted, at the same time being the one thing the holds them together and sets them apart. Double that with Gerard’s self-destructive drinking and you get a really a really potent mixture.
“Time to go.” Mikey pulls his brother out of the door, the party continuing undeterred behind them.
They make it to the car this time before Gerard reaches for him. That’s not always the case.
I’m really glad some people picked up on “That’s not always the case.” There were several other lines about the times they didn’t make it to the car that had to be cut to keep within the word limit.
“It hurts. Please, I need.” Gerard is shaking, his hands clumsy and frantic on Mikey’s belt. “Just want to feel good. Please.”
You know that feeling right? When things are so bad that you clutch at any source of relief, any pleasure, anything to make you forget, for it to stop hurting, just for one moment.
Mikey doesn’t know which is worse: That Gerard is too drunk to know who he is with, or that he isn’t.
Oh Gerard knows who he is with. He knows. And that’s worse.
Either way, Mikey can never say no.
Anyone who has ever watched a loved one lose themselves in drink or drugs, knows how hard it is to say no. No I will not buy you another bottle, no I will not get you another hit, no I will not stay and take care of you and clean your vomit and watch as you cry and beg and tell me you love me while at the same time killing everything I love about you. One of the hardest things is to walk away from that, to understand the distinction of when the person needs you and when they need you simply as a means to an end.
I do not - cannot - fault Mikey for not being able to say no, even when he knows he should.
The title of the drabble “Addiction” is not accidental (my titles never are, honestly I spent a lot of time deliberating over them, it’s a little ridiculous). It refers both to Gerard’s addiction to alcohol, and to the relationship between his brother that is so drenched in dependency and need, that it can be classed as an addiction of its own.
“Shh. I’ve got you.”
And Mikey. He needs to be needed, to be that one person Gerard crawls to when he’s at his lowest. There is security in that, in knowing you’ll always be needed and wanted like that. It’s an addiction of one kind too.
When they kiss, Gerard’s mouth tastes like tears and cheap vodka.
Addicts are smart. Gerard knows exactly what buttons to push to get Mikey to give him whatever he wants (believe me, you have not been emotionally manipulated until you’ve been emotionally manipulated by an addict). He may hate himself for what he does, but Mikey is the one sure thing in his life right now and it’s not in him to pass that up.
Huh, so that commentary turned out more serious than I expected, but definitely an interesting one to write.
DVD Commentary on Addiction
Writing incest pairings requires a bit more thought than others. The best stories are the ones where there are no easy answers. It is a big thing, and it is difficult, even if not wrong per se, and it should not be ignored or glossed over.
(Flyby rec: If you had not yet read the epic Missing Persons (Numb3rs, Don/Charlie) by dsudis yet, I urge you to do so immediately, even if, and perhaps especially if incest fic is not your thing. It is a stellar handling of some very difficult issues around incest and consent.)
Anyway, moving on to this fic.
The drabble takes place when Gerard and Mikey are relatively young, still living home certainly. What fascinates me about this (and others) incest pairings is the intense co-dependency, both necessary and twisted, at the same time being the one thing the holds them together and sets them apart. Double that with Gerard’s self-destructive drinking and you get a really a really potent mixture.
“Time to go.” Mikey pulls his brother out of the door, the party continuing undeterred behind them.
They make it to the car this time before Gerard reaches for him. That’s not always the case.
I’m really glad some people picked up on “That’s not always the case.” There were several other lines about the times they didn’t make it to the car that had to be cut to keep within the word limit.
“It hurts. Please, I need.” Gerard is shaking, his hands clumsy and frantic on Mikey’s belt. “Just want to feel good. Please.”
You know that feeling right? When things are so bad that you clutch at any source of relief, any pleasure, anything to make you forget, for it to stop hurting, just for one moment.
Mikey doesn’t know which is worse: That Gerard is too drunk to know who he is with, or that he isn’t.
Oh Gerard knows who he is with. He knows. And that’s worse.
Either way, Mikey can never say no.
Anyone who has ever watched a loved one lose themselves in drink or drugs, knows how hard it is to say no. No I will not buy you another bottle, no I will not get you another hit, no I will not stay and take care of you and clean your vomit and watch as you cry and beg and tell me you love me while at the same time killing everything I love about you. One of the hardest things is to walk away from that, to understand the distinction of when the person needs you and when they need you simply as a means to an end.
I do not - cannot - fault Mikey for not being able to say no, even when he knows he should.
The title of the drabble “Addiction” is not accidental (my titles never are, honestly I spent a lot of time deliberating over them, it’s a little ridiculous). It refers both to Gerard’s addiction to alcohol, and to the relationship between his brother that is so drenched in dependency and need, that it can be classed as an addiction of its own.
“Shh. I’ve got you.”
And Mikey. He needs to be needed, to be that one person Gerard crawls to when he’s at his lowest. There is security in that, in knowing you’ll always be needed and wanted like that. It’s an addiction of one kind too.
When they kiss, Gerard’s mouth tastes like tears and cheap vodka.
Addicts are smart. Gerard knows exactly what buttons to push to get Mikey to give him whatever he wants (believe me, you have not been emotionally manipulated until you’ve been emotionally manipulated by an addict). He may hate himself for what he does, but Mikey is the one sure thing in his life right now and it’s not in him to pass that up.
Huh, so that commentary turned out more serious than I expected, but definitely an interesting one to write.