(no subject)
Imagine brackets if you want.
I've been playing Kate since January 8, 2003. She was (and still is) my favourite actress, and when the previous version of her deleted, I jumped all over the chance to play her. I debated it for about three hours and then created this journal, complete with my sexy double underscores, picked my three favourite pictures of her, and started adding people. It took me a few months to get really into her and then things started to fly. She's not my first character here at MBP, and rarely was she ever my only, but for the longest time she was my priority and my pride and I loved her above all. She's an amazing, gorgeous, incredible woman, so talented and full of life and love for her children and her family, and I tried my very best to portray that. Maybe people thought she wrote about her kids too much but if you ever read an interview with her, they're like half of what she talks about, so that's how I wrote her. I wanted to be as accurate as I possibly could be.
So like I said in the last entry, anyone who pays any attention has to know that I've been struggling in the last few months with Kate. Since December, really, and it's frustrated me and upset me because I love this woman and I love playing her, but I've recently come to the decision that I just can't keep hanging on for hanging on's sake, or to make other people happy, or because it's comfortable or whatever. So yes, that means I'm leaving. Not yet another break, not disappearing for four weeks and putting up a post and then not feeling like answering replies, but leaving. I hate to do it more than I can even express, but it doesn't feel right to sit on this and have people actually want her/me around and not be into it and keep acting like I can come back and do it. It hurts a lot, but it feels like the right thing to do. I'm not going to be cocky and say 'and this is FINAL and I will NEVER EVER come back' because I sure can't predict the future, but for now, I'm gone. This is where I say that I want to pick the next Kate, and let me bold it so that's very clear, I want to pick the next Kate. I'm going to be picky as hell, though, let that be known.
I've had so much fun here as Kate I don't even know where or how to start but I really feel obliged to thank the people that have been closest to her. Jamie, you know she's always going to love him so much and they were horrible and amazing and just, sigh, so misunderstood and tragic. Who'd have thought anyone could tame him, even for just a little while, much less make him fall? Not me, and I'm still really fucking proud of it. Damon, you were my first fake boyfriend and maybe she's hated you lately but she still loves you anyways. Sam F., boy, was the timing wrong there. She really did love you despite everything and how it ended. Timmy, you were her best friend and she loved you so much and I always thought it was a little more than platonic but sigh, oh well. I was going to list a bunch of people here that meant so much to Kate but I can't get you all so I think you know who you are and I definitely do have to mention the Blurs (Graham included) and the Interpols (very few things were more fun than when Kate went around on tour with them!) and Kelly MacDonald number 1 and Asia and Ethan and just, God. If I don't wind this up it's just going to go on and on and on. I'm going to miss you all and it's been so much fun but it's best to go out when I can still stand to look at her. I love you all, thank you so much more making these past three and a half years so amazing.
I'll go about unfriending people in the next few days or so, except for the ones I want to creepily spy on or just can't bear to take off my list, so if you want to stay, let me know. Also, this is of course a given, but I'm not out of the game completely, I'm still around, as if any of us can really get out. If you want to know, winsletk@gmail.com or I can give you some kind of hint. I already have some of you there. Oh yeah, and if you want to find me OOC, poor you, but email and I'll let you know. Same goes for if you want this role, send an email, but again, picky, so, so picky.
PS, go see The Holiday when it comes out. This is the role she's been destined to play for years, I'm serious, and it's going to be amazing.