Depression

[kateandjack]

Writing that word is certainly easier than saying it out loud.

First of all, thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. It’s nice to know that some people out there are listening, and that a few of you may have even been through something similar.

I phoned the doctors this morning. My friend said that I should ask if any have a specialist

Comments

[beybladesabre]

Kate, do not apologize for how you feel!!! You don't have to say whether it's right or wrong, and no one is going to judge you because of how you FEEL. The way you feel just IS. So don't feel like you need to apologize, this is your journal, your space, for whatever purpose it needs to serve in the moment. You are definitely not alone in this! You might be surprised how many people on your friends list alone have gone through something similar, I have gone through bouts of depression too, and I totally understand how difficult it can be when you are the happy go lucky person with the great sense of humor, it feels so out of place, and it is incredibly hard to deal with.

Good for you for seeking help!! Have you thought about talking to a counsellor or another unbiased professional? That can be incredibly helpful as well, if you think that may be something you'd like to do. You have taken the first step though, and I am very proud of you:)

*huge hugs* Kate:) You will get through this!! We are all here for you!!

[kateandjack]

I just don't understand where it all went wrong. People who have depression are supposed to have had some traumatic experience. But I haven't

I had an idilic childhood. My parents are still together. I did well at school. I am employed. Nobody died.

So I can't help but apologise. Some people have really terrible lives, and I should be grateful for what I have.

[beybladesabre]

For lots of people there isn't one moment or experience that brings on the depression. For all the people I know who have dealt with depression, I think there is maybe 1 or 2 who could directly connect it with something that happened.

I'm in the same boat as you, great childhood, great at school, I'm not in a huge amount of debt, parents are still together, the whole nine yards. There isn't really a reason for my depression episodes, it kinda goes in cycles. I'm not sure why, and probably will never find out. No rhyme or reason to any of it, it just is. Depression doesn't choose certain people, anyone can have it, and that's nothing to be ashamed about!

I know you are looking for answers, and they may not come right away! It's frustrating, and I can totally sympathize!! And I know lots of your lj friends can too.

[sprinklerized]

This wasn't disjointed or illogical at all! I agree that you should print this off and take it with you, because I actually think it's a very accurate description.

"I feel like I’m pushing people away, when I actually need them more than ever." That's one of the unfortunate stages in the cycle of depression; it's a paradox, because withdrawing from people or pushing them away can cause them to think you don't want to spend time with them, and they'll give you space when you really need to be around friends and family. This causes further depression, and it just ends up spiraling.

Disinterest in activities that you usually love and lack of motivation are also indicators. And yes, guilt, even if it is undeserved. You can't help the way you feel, but you can GET help. You said in a comment that "People who have depression are supposed to have had some traumatic experience." but that's not true! Yes, traumatic experiences can trigger depressive episodes in people already predisposed to it (there are, after all, lots of people who