Comments | katelynelaine: Stay Awake {TABLE 8}

katelynelaine

Stay Awake {TABLE 8}

Dec 13, 2009 13:20

Summary: Brendon has a school project and recruits Ryan to help { table}
Disclaimer: I own them; I also have a purple nargle that does my makeup for me.

( Even though I'm not always right, I can count on the sun to shine. )

table

Comments 9

leighabelle December 13 2009, 21:31:21 UTC

Oh, that was awesome.

katelynelaine December 14 2009, 01:22:05 UTC

Thanks :)

kisskiss_bang December 14 2009, 07:18:44 UTC

That was very hot. Good job!

katelynelaine December 14 2009, 12:44:35 UTC

Haha thanks

gothicpotato December 15 2009, 03:47:21 UTC

I loved it. There were just a few grammatical errors here and there that caught my eye. I hope you don't mind. :) (Delete the comment if you do, i guess, ahhh.)

"painfully slowly"
should be "painfully slow"

"half smiled & slid Ryans"
"&" Is never correct grammar. It only works in an Official name (bender&bender), or something informal like your notes for history class, and what have you.

"moaning whine cry"
didn't sound right, maybe "moaning, whining, cry"?

"and doesn’t what else to do to get him off."
Did you forget know in that sentence? Ahaha.

"heavy & shallow"
Again, the & symbol.

"chuckles & nuzzles"
Again, the & symbol.

phoenix_vixen December 15 2009, 05:23:28 UTC

Cute! :) Whinny!Ryan is sooo adorable! :)

katelynelaine December 15 2009, 05:54:19 UTC

aha, I knuuu :D
Thanks

gorejezzzross December 17 2009, 20:46:07 UTC

i love love love this.
i'm pretty much speechless.

katelynelaine December 17 2009, 21:43:23 UTC

yay lol
"D thanks