Being human and finite
I forgive myself for being human and finite and
But this morning I made myself delicious (if unsightly) eggs and ham and tea. I delegated the daycare tasks that require responsiveness and will try, very hard, to get the job-hunting work done today. And hope to forgive myself for whatever doesn't get done today, as long as the baby is still clean, fed, and reasonably intact by the end of the day.
- having a sore throat for 3 weeks (and consequently being unable to exercise, which helps me eat right);
- PMSing;
- being stressed when 2 interviews on separate days were added to my calendar;
- being stressed when the nanny just announced that she would not be available when I go back to work;
- having a hard time finding daycare for the toddler so he will learn to play nicely with others;
- being upset when all the scheduling changes (and lack of daycare and living in fucking New York City) meant personal care got postponed for 6-8 weeks;
- clinging to the illusion I can lose weight while all this is going on (even after binging on potato chips);
- binging on potato chips;
- running out of prepared food and not ordering food sooner;
- not optimizing the a/c and getting hot and cranky every afternoon;
- failing at meditating bc I was too angry; and
- losing my temper with the baby when he ripped my books.
But this morning I made myself delicious (if unsightly) eggs and ham and tea. I delegated the daycare tasks that require responsiveness and will try, very hard, to get the job-hunting work done today. And hope to forgive myself for whatever doesn't get done today, as long as the baby is still clean, fed, and reasonably intact by the end of the day.