(no subject)
WOMEN'S RULES FOR MEN
- Call.
- Don't lie.
- If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, zoo rules apply: No Petting.
- A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
- Her cooking is excellent. (That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.)
- Dishsoap won't harm your hands.
- Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean.
- Dinner is not foreplay.
- Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation.
- Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?"
- Two words: clean socks.
- Burping is not sexy.
- You're wrong and you're sorry.
- She is less impressed by your pickup truck than you think she is.
- Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning with your hand.
- Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.
- Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
- If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you.
- Don't tell her you love her if you don't.
- Think boxers.
- Silk boxers.
- Remember Valentine's Day, and any other cheesy "anniversary" she claims.
- Call.
- Don't lie.