Comments | katie_puhtaytee: HELP ACK!! (Slight edit)

katie_puhtaytee

HELP ACK!! (Slight edit)

Sep 18, 2006 21:08

Okay. If you find it in your deep and overwhelmingly sexy hearts to read this and rip it apart with an expert and merciless editor's hand, I'd be eternally grateful to you. Seriously. If you could tell me everything you hate (and/or love, if that happens to be the case) sometime tonight, that would be amazing ( Read more... )

Comments 4

myluckyshadow September 20 2006, 01:13:30 UTC

Okay, so I wasn't able to read this last night and I wouldn't presume to be able to edit anything that you write because you are an amazing writer, but I did read it today. I just wanted to tell you how good it was! I must confess that a lot probably went right over my head but I liked the parts that I did get. I especially loved the part about Neil going places. Hope things are going well for you!
Hannah

katie_puhtaytee September 20 2006, 05:23:13 UTC

Oh Hannah, thank you so much. I really appreciate the fact that you read it. Also, you shouldn't have to "confess" anything--tell me it's grr and hard to understand! Brendan pointed that out too, and I think you are both very very right.

(The comment has been removed)

katie_puhtaytee September 20 2006, 05:18:39 UTC

Oh man, thank you so much for this. Really means a ton, and the "random things" that you mentioned were all things that absolutely need to be fixed! You are a genius. Every single thing, I'm not kidding, will improve this story.

"Lifted to rest" -- you're right, it does sound awkward....will mull over that baby.

"She was filled" would have probably sounded way better.

How did I miss the narrow gap thing?? Oy vey. Yeah, the mom wants her kids to get crushed by traffic.

Dude, you have no idea how addicted I am to the word 'entity.' I restrained myself, but I think I went overboard. :)

As for the envelope thing, that was the only edit I caught on my own this morning.

Unfortunately, the kids in my fiction workshop all got a copy of this today that was sans-Brendan edits. Poo.

However, I thank you from the bottom of my sleepy heart, Bman. These edits are perfect. I'll change the post tomorrow.

katie_puhtaytee September 20 2006, 05:21:13 UTC

And I also think you are right about the denseness of the story. Some of the sentences get away from me in a way that is like Faulknerian stuff (only sans-awesome). It is a little too weirdly and awkwardly complex in places; even I have to go back and read some of them twice, and I wrote the silly thing!