today I am 23 years old.

In my youth, I had pictured my life so differently at this age than what it really is. thought I'd be engaged or married. financially stable. contented. just....different. I don't know if I'm disappointed or not, but needless to say, I never pictured things to be this way.

so it's been awhile since I've had a chance to write. My aunt had dial up that took over her phone line, and I always felt bad being on line over there. It was great living there, though. Having someone take care of you, love you, be there for you. She stuffed food down my throat and I think that I gained back like 10 pounds of the 15 pounds I had ( Read more... )

I swear, this fucking roommate drama just isn't going away. it keeps getting worse, which the childish junior high games they're playing. Seriously, if you needed more time, don't leave me a fucking NOTE telling me that I'm selfish and rude and this is such a MINOR issue compared to the MAJOR issues of school. I'm sorry, but my health is a somewhat ( Read more... )

I've been a really selfish bitch who has hurt and alienated people that I care about in the past month. And I am sorry.

so I did it. took a stand. decided to be selfish and probably a complete bitch, and I told my roommates that I want out. that I'm moving out. My parents, psychologist, and myself decided that the environment that I am living in was not helping my mental/emotional health, and that I need to live by myself right now. I gave them the three options ( Read more... )

so I had a really good couple of days. Went to the rugby meeting on Friday, and surprise surprise, was the only girl who showed up. I did get the e-mails of all the girls who had showed interests, so hopefully I can try to put together a team. Went out for a drink with a few of the guys after the meeting. I was pretty hesitant about going to the ( Read more... )

The rest of the week has been ok, I guess. I'm not feeling very well, and I got a talk from Rachel on how I should eat real food and not crackers and a sandwich a day. She's right, but there's the whole actually buying the food and doing that. So who knows ( Read more... )

had a dream last night that I was pregnant. Just have to say that thank God it's not true. That's probably the biggest sigh of relief I can have from Doug and I's break up. We were playing with fire a lot, and it's surprising that we didn't get burned. scary scary dream. and we were very very lucky ( Read more... )

desperate houswives and grey's anatomy finally premiere tonight, yay! yes I am a dork. But I'm sad because sunday night was always Alicia and I's TV night. From the Practice to Desperate Housewives Boston Legal/Grey's Anatomy, and she's not here to watch the shows with me and talk about them during breaks and shush people when they dare talk during ( Read more... )

I wrote Doug a long letter in response to his e-mail. It was pretty bitchy, with a touch of arrogance in it. I packed up a t-shirt he lent me, a gatorade water bottle he left in my car and some pictures that were to be a part of his anniversary present in a shoebox, and mailed it off to his parents' house today. I feel like a weight has been lifted ( Read more... )