28. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
This has ALWAYS bothered me. I'd much prefer a movie that had everyone standing around going, "Gee, I wonder how long we have to turn this darn thing o--" KABOOM!
3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
You mean yours haven't?
4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
Yep. It never clings to the teeth either.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
A bad German accent is the ticket.
8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
So true. He won't even blink when his nose breaks while being thrown against a window. I couldn't see a thing for at least minutes when I walked into my balcony door. Then again, I'm a sissy.
9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
And when in New York, call a taxi waving your hand and shouting "taxi, taxi!" Because, naturally, taxi drivers will hear you shout.
11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for
( ... )
And I wasted my time going to graduate school. Worse, two graduate schools. And then all that reading, and all those seminars. And It Was All At The Movies!
Comments 4
This has ALWAYS bothered me. I'd much prefer a movie that had everyone standing around going, "Gee, I wonder how long we have to turn this darn thing o--" KABOOM!
(What? I would laugh. Is that so wrong?)
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You mean yours haven't?
4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
Yep. It never clings to the teeth either.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
A bad German accent is the ticket.
8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
So true. He won't even blink when his nose breaks while being thrown against a window. I couldn't see a thing for at least minutes when I walked into my balcony door. Then again, I'm a sissy.
9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
And when in New York, call a taxi waving your hand and shouting "taxi, taxi!" Because, naturally, taxi drivers will hear you shout.
11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for ( ... )
Reply
*sigh*
Clearly, I should have checked w/ you first.
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