my plane leaves for arizona on the 21st. i keep thinking through different scenarios about what would happen if i missed it on purpose. mostly it would just be a giant fucking waste of money. and i would spend christmas alone at 19, which would be kind of horrible - in the most romanticized way possible ( Read more... )

after class i was buying a book for school. it cost $10, and i only had 9. a boy standing beside me at the counter paid the extra dollar. i will probably never see him again. or maybe i will pass him every day on the way to the subway and never recognize him ( Read more... )

i'm always borrowing words. trying to use them to decipher my life situation. like when you hear a song and think "wow i could have written this it's basically about my life." but i think it's kind of a weird habit. because i haven't written any of the songs or painted any of the paintings. and enjoying someone else's expression is not the ( Read more... )

i cannot afford my own lifestyle. how do you deal with not being able to pay for something that already belongs to you?

dear arizona,
you make me feel uneasy. we were good together once, but that seems like a lifetime ago.

dear new york,
you are wonderful, and i miss you. i mostly just want to be with you always.

dear brooklyn,
the prospect of you makes me completely fucking giddy, and i love it.

a.) fiji water
b.) colin meloy
c.) "slouching towards bethlehem"

(i think i would like to re-vamp my livejournal and start using it 'seriously' again.
i'm not too sure how to go about doing this.)

i time travel every once and a while.
ben folds on full blast as i click my way through the past.
my heart gets caught in my throat, and for a moment i cannot breathe.

time is racing, and i feel helpless.
i want it to slow down. wait for me.

lately i've wanted to organize the complexities.
perhaps in a pie chart or bar graph.

how long do you wait before you know if a decision was right or wrong?
how much time do you give before you try to correct it?

i just feel so lonely here.
has the city gotten the best of me?
the west coast is looking better and better every day.

and it's killing me because i can't do anything about it right now.

i'm a fucking tool.
probably i haven't changed as much as i thought.

going home is going to be surreal.

( Read more... )