Stop the Fucking Influx...I wanna get off!
Back from the hospital. Armed with more drugs than a cancer patient. *meh* They still don't know what caused the allergy, but I am wondering if it's from the supplements I was taking or the couch we just got from Ikea? I certainly hope it's not the couch. *blah* I sprayed it with some stuff and let some of the stuff air just in case there was something on it...I'm also tempted to get (though we can scarcely afford it) one of those Little Green Machines to steam clean it. I have to call the allergist back tomorrow. I also have my drug test for Stewartville tomorrow, but got my *little insurance* so we're cool with that for now. They also sent as a free gift, some rolling papers. Classy.
I can't help but be bugged hardly anyone noticed I was gone or in the hospital. *meh* Maybe I'm a drama llama, but it would be nice to be noticed. I am so tired lately, I can barely stand it, and that hospital visit freakd me out more than I thought initially. It's the helpless feeling, where you feel like you have no control over your fate, and it could all end right here right now, and who would remember you? I'm just in a fucked up mood tonight I guess. I'm just so aware of my breathing now, of my throat, because that scared the shit out of me when I couldn't breathe. I always want to be in control but it's like my body is turning against me sometimes. I'm so hyper aware of what is happeneing with me now, like if I get too warm, then it's "uh oh, going to have that cold sweat, then I can't breathe...freakout!" Or my hands or feet are getting itchy...I wonder if it's going to be another rash...what if it spreads?? I feel nuts but I don't know what to do. My sleep schedule is still really fucked, because I was woken up all the time at the hospital with them doing some drugs in my IV, or taking my blood or whatever. Then now I can't sleep more than a few hours since I have to get up at all times now, since I haven't started Stewartville yet, and I'm scared if I do if something will happen? I've been feeling so weak and tired lately, hopefully there won't be that much heavy lifting. *sigh* But I know I need to start making some money soon. My unemployment for WI ran out a few weeks ago, and I don't have enough in my account allegedly for MN, which I think is BS. I also tried for that extended UI, but I don't have enough for that either.
I hope I'm up for Anime Detour this weekend though. I am just going to try and take it easy and see what happens. I know DH is getting impatient with me, but I don't know what else I can do.
I can't help but be bugged hardly anyone noticed I was gone or in the hospital. *meh* Maybe I'm a drama llama, but it would be nice to be noticed. I am so tired lately, I can barely stand it, and that hospital visit freakd me out more than I thought initially. It's the helpless feeling, where you feel like you have no control over your fate, and it could all end right here right now, and who would remember you? I'm just in a fucked up mood tonight I guess. I'm just so aware of my breathing now, of my throat, because that scared the shit out of me when I couldn't breathe. I always want to be in control but it's like my body is turning against me sometimes. I'm so hyper aware of what is happeneing with me now, like if I get too warm, then it's "uh oh, going to have that cold sweat, then I can't breathe...freakout!" Or my hands or feet are getting itchy...I wonder if it's going to be another rash...what if it spreads?? I feel nuts but I don't know what to do. My sleep schedule is still really fucked, because I was woken up all the time at the hospital with them doing some drugs in my IV, or taking my blood or whatever. Then now I can't sleep more than a few hours since I have to get up at all times now, since I haven't started Stewartville yet, and I'm scared if I do if something will happen? I've been feeling so weak and tired lately, hopefully there won't be that much heavy lifting. *sigh* But I know I need to start making some money soon. My unemployment for WI ran out a few weeks ago, and I don't have enough in my account allegedly for MN, which I think is BS. I also tried for that extended UI, but I don't have enough for that either.
I hope I'm up for Anime Detour this weekend though. I am just going to try and take it easy and see what happens. I know DH is getting impatient with me, but I don't know what else I can do.