One not so good thing going on...

[katphyre]

It's a long story and too hard to write about yet, but two weeks ago my son Jacob made the choice to go and live with my sister who is about 45 minutes away from us. He's 12. My heart is breaking into a million stabbing shards and there's nothing I can do about because right now I want him to see that I recognize the problems he has here, and

Comments

[ecstaticlght]

MM (my oldest) was 13 when he asked to go live with his dad. I was like you, I knew life was total chaos in our house (which we still call "the ghetto house"). He wanted more attention than I could spend, needed more something I could never put my finger on. I know he wanted to go too, because he was going to a nice, new, organized home that was brother free and free of all of the responsibilities he was sure he had. I have him one year and at the end of the year he had to make a solid decision. He chose to stay there. I went through all kinds of mental garbage, even down to being an insane parent, but as I learned of how he behaved at his dad's and all, I knew it wasn't because his dad was a better parent or that he would behave better, but because he really missed being an only kid and always had since his brother and then his other brother was born

[bojojoti]

Growing up is so hard to do. Those middle school years are brutal, and most kids just flail. For some reason, it is just easier for many kids to disengage from their normal household and integrate into another. The entitlement attitude disappears in another household. Instead of expecting everything done for them, they now appreciate and understand that they can't expect things

[kiwi_kimi]

This must be really hard for you. You're torn in multiple directions, and there's only so much of you to go around. What you're doing, making sure that Jacob's time with you is positive, and seeing what you can do to make things smoother at home, sound great. But try not to demand perfection of yourself

[lil_princess121]

Oh my goodness, I had no idea you had all this going on.

I can only imagine how it would feel as a mother to have your child choose to live with your sister. However, I agree with the poster who said Jake still loves you and perhaps thinks he is making your life easier by this decision. Kathy, you are a wonderful mom. I only have one child and motherhood keeps me going like the energizer bunny. I can only imagine with a blended family of full and part time siblings. Add in the health issues and time and energy goes pretty quick. Don't be to hard on yourself.

I have always admired your mothering nature. I knew from the first time I met you that you were a great mom. Jake knows this, too.