I must have missed the beginning of this debate, but that comic makes my skin crawl.
And people wondered why I never let people buy my dinner or movie ticket in college (date or friends) - I never knew the ulterior motive. But now I'm poor, and will let close friends treat, as long as they'll let me cook for them sometime. Or buy them a drink.
Genuine nice guys don't have to lable themselves that. If they truly are nice people, it shows.
I think my issue is more with I'm a very trusting person that has be screwed over quite a bit, so I need to find a good balance of "yay, everyone is a happy squirrel, and they get the benefit of the doubt" and "people are inherently evil and should all die" (ok, not that dire...more of a "hmm. I have a boob shirt on, and this guy is buying me a drink, and offering me a chair, and now he's pissed that I don't want to make out with him
( ... )
I wouldn't say I'm "anti-nice guy" - I'd say I'm "anti-skeevy people" or anti "you give me a funny feeling about why you're being so nice to me" people.
And I think you have more time on your hands than I do.
Interesting study into the realm of nice guys. Have you explore the "nice girl" syndrome (if there is such a thing)?
Also, I wonder if part of my mistrust in "nice guys" (capitalized or not) is that I've always had guy friends growing up. I was 'one of the guys' and so I never had doors opened for me, or people buy me dinner, etc. We played black jack - if I won, they paid up, if they won, i paid up. It was so equal. So it's very odd to me when people hold the door open, pull out my chair (rare, but occasional), and get huffy when i want to split the tab, because I'm so used to it.
And that's enough psych profiling of myself for the day.
Comments 14
Reply
Reply
Reply
i'm not interested in "nice guys" as relationship material... it's more like i'm into "the science of nice guys".
Reply
And people wondered why I never let people buy my dinner or movie ticket in college (date or friends) - I never knew the ulterior motive. But now I'm poor, and will let close friends treat, as long as they'll let me cook for them sometime. Or buy them a drink.
Genuine nice guys don't have to lable themselves that. If they truly are nice people, it shows.
Just my $.02
Reply
if you're interested in my collection of "nice guy" documentation... check out my "nice guys" tag. :)
Reply
Reply
Wow.
And. wow.
I wouldn't say I'm "anti-nice guy" - I'd say I'm "anti-skeevy people" or anti "you give me a funny feeling about why you're being so nice to me" people.
And I think you have more time on your hands than I do.
Interesting study into the realm of nice guys. Have you explore the "nice girl" syndrome (if there is such a thing)?
Also, I wonder if part of my mistrust in "nice guys" (capitalized or not) is that I've always had guy friends growing up. I was 'one of the guys' and so I never had doors opened for me, or people buy me dinner, etc. We played black jack - if I won, they paid up, if they won, i paid up. It was so equal. So it's very odd to me when people hold the door open, pull out my chair (rare, but occasional), and get huffy when i want to split the tab, because I'm so used to it.
And that's enough psych profiling of myself for the day.
Reply
Leave a comment