(no subject)
Wow... found out last night that my mom is totally not at all as supportive or accepting as I thought she was.... I thought she was alright with me being gay, but clearly she's not... While talking with Lori last night on the way back from the Christmas skating show, she mentioned about the Day of Silence... She's trying to get permission to do it in school, but the principal that she has to go through is not cooperative at all.... It's a bit of a disappointment, but she started early, so it's not that big of a deal... But she's been trying to get in to talk to the person that she has to, and the person keeps avoiding her and her friends who are also looking for the same thing.... So she mumbled about it one day and Mom overheard her reminding herself that she has to go talk to the person again, but she didn't hear clearly, so she asked what she said, and Lori mentioned that it was about the Day of Silence, and Mom said that she doesn't know why Lori wants to do that, because it won't do anything but get people beaten up... Another time, Lori was mentioning about the lack of support from the school board, and Mom said that she wasn't happy with decisions that I'm making now, so why is Lori supporting these decisions? .... Well... I can tell that Mom is supportive to my face, but not in her heart or when I'm not around... she shows support when I'm nearby.... but ... when I'm not there, she clearly has no support whatsoever... :sigh: It's a major disappointment, and I thought Dad was not supportive..... I guess he's more supportive than Mom... If not then at least he's open about his disapproval of my lifestyles... I know that he's not fond of me having a girlfriend, and it's not that he doesn't like Kim either... it's just the fact htat the both of us are female that he doesn't like... Because Mom has said that she supports me, but then turns around and says that she's disapproving of my life (which I know is not the same thing, but you can't be supporting and disapproving at the same time...), then it makes me wonder how much else she is telling me that isn't true... if she's going to be so opposite on this, which is a fairly large part of my life, then I wonder how much else that isn't so large is she not saying about that she disapproves of or thinks badly on, or is just lying about... Like she said that she likes Kim better than Adam, because Kim's not trying to kiss up to my parents and Adam was... but... is she saying that she likes Kim better but doesn't really, or that she likes Kim better as a person, but not as a girlfriend...? I don't know, and I don't know how much to trust her now.... it's kinda very upsetting when you thought one thing, and it's completely different, especially from someone who you thought would always support you... I mean, she hasn't kicked me out or denied me anything, but the saying one thing while I'm around and then saying something different when I'm not there.... It saddens me... :'(