A little note on courtesy

[katydidinoz]

"Was it planned?" is not an appropriate question to ask in response to "I'm pregnant!"

It's rude, it's very personal, and clearly if someone is telling you, then they've decided to go ahead and be excited about it.

Honestly. I despair of humanity sometimes.

Comments

[sauced_again]

Appropriate answer: Well the aliens must have planned it, considering how long it took them to get here!

[katydidinoz]

ooh I like that. I'm using that next time :)

Only downside is that the person stupid enough to ask that question is unlikely to get the subtle fuck you in that answer :)

[aphephobia]

OMG. My sister asked me this when I told her I was pregnant with Neo. Bonus point for her then telling me I was rude when I said, "You know, that's absolutely none of your business

[katydidinoz]

I went to a dinner with a lot of people I know on Saturday night, and a fair few talked to my belly. Which is random, given that I'm not really showing yet.

Touching? Yeah, I'm not so sure I"m going to be cool with that.

[nanobynight]

Fair enough too! I was interested to see a piece in the paper a while ago by a woman who was having twins about how she got lots of people stepping over the line with 'Oh, it was IVF then?' Although she was talking about her specific circumstance, she was observing this very thing - that people don't always recognise the boundaries of what's appropriate and what's just rude and invasive when it comes to pregnancy.

[katydidinoz]

I take your point, and no doubt it didn't help that the person who asked isn't high on the 'people I think add value to humanity' scale.

If she'd phrased it like 'have you been trying for awhile', I don't think I would have been as affronted, and regardless of the fact that, as I said above, she's not one of my favourite people, I don't think she meant it to be as rude as it came out.

That being said? Work on some more appropriate questions. Like 'when's it due?', 'are you going to find out the sex?', or even 'are you having trouble finding names?'

[thewhitelily]

... did I miss an announcement? *wanders back through your journal* I did! CONGRATULATIONS! I'm so happy for you! (And also for myself that I've got another preggers friend due about the same time!) Awesomeness!

Also, yes to a comment above. Belly touching is NOT COOL without permission, particularly when not showing yet. I'm going to deck my sister-in-law the next time she tries it.