Amongst the Pale Starlight: The Past
Title: Amongst the Pale Starlight: The Past
Rating: PG
Word Count: 960
Characters: Shepard and Garrus
Summary: During one of Shepard's late night chats with Garrus she tells him about Mindoir and joining the Alliance.
The Set up: Shepard is sitting on a crate in Garrus' little room off the battery and having a beer. This sort of jumps in mid conversation. I'm not sure exactly where this is in the timeline for my Shep, but it's sometime before Horizon.
The Past
“Garrus, please, call me Marie or Merr.”
“Marie? I thought your name was Jane.” She raised an eyebrow and gave him a questioning look. “Well," he unconsciously rubbed the back of neck, "I looked at your file when I was investigating Saren and then it was in all the vids after the first Normandy.”
She shook her head and sighed. “Marie is my middle name. Jane Marie Shepard. No one ever called me Jane though, unless I was in trouble. If my mom called me Jane Marie, I knew I’d done something really bad.” She chuckled at the memory.
“Did you get into a lot of trouble when you were younger?”
“Sometimes, usually because of something my older brother Tom put me up to.”
“I didn’t realize you had a brother.”
Shepard fidgeted with the glass in her hand. “I tried to avoid talking about my family after I joined the Alliance. I guess you know what happened on Mindoir?”
“Yeah, they mentioned it briefly in the vids.”
She rolled her eyes, “Of course they did.” She shifted her gaze down at her drink. “My parents were farmers. I knew more about growing crops than I did guns and fighting. Tom wanted to join the Alliance though, get away the farm and see the galaxy. I always figured I’d meet some nice young guy, get married, have a family of my own, and take over my parents' place,” she paused for a moment. “I was 16 when the batarians hit.”
“Shepard-- Marie, you don’t have to talk about this. You don’t owe me any explanations.”
“No, it’s alright.” She wasn’t sure why she was telling him this; it wasn’t something she’d spoken about it in years. She took another swig of beer. “My brother had gone hunting in the woods near the colony and I tagged along. When the raid started we thought a generator had exploded. It didn’t take long to figure out what was really going on. Tom told me to wait there; he was going to go try to get Mom and Dad. So I hid and I waited. It was a long time before the gunfire stopped; even then I stayed and waited. Eventually I made my way back to the edge of the colony. The batarians were gone by then. I remember running home but there wasn’t much left, just a blackened hole and few pieces of metal. I yelled for my parents and Tom. Nothing. I was so hoarse by the time the Alliance found me that I could hardly speak." Shepard closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall. "They never found their bodies. The Alliance took me and the few other survivors to the nearest space station. I’ve never been back.”
Garrus was a loss for what to say. “I’m sorry." It seemed completely inadequate.
An awkward silence settled between them for a few minutes until Shepard spoke again. “I guess I got tired of talking about it. I had to tell everyone in the beginning: Councilors, social workers, Alliance investigators. I just wanted to be left alone. I got so tired of their stares and false pity.” There was a hint of bitterness in her voice.
“Did you decide to join the Alliance because they saved you?”
Shepard looked over at him and shrugged her shoulders. “Yes and no. I wandered from station to station for a few years picking up odd jobs to get by. I ran errands for gang bosses for a few months. Got arrested for stealing, twice.” Garrus flicked his mandibles and Shepard gave him a crooked smile. “I bet they didn’t mention that in the vids."
Garrus shook his head, “No, no they didn’t.”
“After a while I got tired of it. I had to accept that whatever hopes and dreams I’d had were gone. My whole family, all my friends, almost everyone I’d ever known was dead and I was wasting my life working for thugs. I went to the Alliance, they’d saved me after all, and they didn’t ask too many questions. After a few years of service they cleared my record. It was a chance at a fresh start and they became my like my new family. I’ve never told him but I looked up to Captain- Excuse me, Councilor Anderson like a father.”
Shepard drained the last of her beer and put the glass down with a loud thud. “Enough of that, I’ve spent too much of your time tonight ‘waxing goddamned nostalgic’ as Zaeed would say, I should get some shut eye.” She stood up to go, “Next time it’s your turn.”
“Alright. Good night Merr.”
“Night Garrus.”
---***----
He stared at the empty space where Shepard had been sitting after she left. The vids had mentioned that she was one of the few survivors of the raid and at some level he realized that meant that she had lost her family. He'd never really thought about it though, what it must have been like to be young and suddenly alone like that. “I had to accept that whatever hopes and dreams I’d had were gone. My whole family, all of my friends, almost everyone I’d ever known was dead.” There were parallels to where they were now, except she had been the one that died and the rest of them had to figure out how go on without her. He understood why she might want to hold on to the past. How many times can you have your life ripped out from under you and then keep going?
Rating: PG
Word Count: 960
Characters: Shepard and Garrus
Summary: During one of Shepard's late night chats with Garrus she tells him about Mindoir and joining the Alliance.
The Set up: Shepard is sitting on a crate in Garrus' little room off the battery and having a beer. This sort of jumps in mid conversation. I'm not sure exactly where this is in the timeline for my Shep, but it's sometime before Horizon.
The Past
“Garrus, please, call me Marie or Merr.”
“Marie? I thought your name was Jane.” She raised an eyebrow and gave him a questioning look. “Well," he unconsciously rubbed the back of neck, "I looked at your file when I was investigating Saren and then it was in all the vids after the first Normandy.”
She shook her head and sighed. “Marie is my middle name. Jane Marie Shepard. No one ever called me Jane though, unless I was in trouble. If my mom called me Jane Marie, I knew I’d done something really bad.” She chuckled at the memory.
“Did you get into a lot of trouble when you were younger?”
“Sometimes, usually because of something my older brother Tom put me up to.”
“I didn’t realize you had a brother.”
Shepard fidgeted with the glass in her hand. “I tried to avoid talking about my family after I joined the Alliance. I guess you know what happened on Mindoir?”
“Yeah, they mentioned it briefly in the vids.”
She rolled her eyes, “Of course they did.” She shifted her gaze down at her drink. “My parents were farmers. I knew more about growing crops than I did guns and fighting. Tom wanted to join the Alliance though, get away the farm and see the galaxy. I always figured I’d meet some nice young guy, get married, have a family of my own, and take over my parents' place,” she paused for a moment. “I was 16 when the batarians hit.”
“Shepard-- Marie, you don’t have to talk about this. You don’t owe me any explanations.”
“No, it’s alright.” She wasn’t sure why she was telling him this; it wasn’t something she’d spoken about it in years. She took another swig of beer. “My brother had gone hunting in the woods near the colony and I tagged along. When the raid started we thought a generator had exploded. It didn’t take long to figure out what was really going on. Tom told me to wait there; he was going to go try to get Mom and Dad. So I hid and I waited. It was a long time before the gunfire stopped; even then I stayed and waited. Eventually I made my way back to the edge of the colony. The batarians were gone by then. I remember running home but there wasn’t much left, just a blackened hole and few pieces of metal. I yelled for my parents and Tom. Nothing. I was so hoarse by the time the Alliance found me that I could hardly speak." Shepard closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall. "They never found their bodies. The Alliance took me and the few other survivors to the nearest space station. I’ve never been back.”
Garrus was a loss for what to say. “I’m sorry." It seemed completely inadequate.
An awkward silence settled between them for a few minutes until Shepard spoke again. “I guess I got tired of talking about it. I had to tell everyone in the beginning: Councilors, social workers, Alliance investigators. I just wanted to be left alone. I got so tired of their stares and false pity.” There was a hint of bitterness in her voice.
“Did you decide to join the Alliance because they saved you?”
Shepard looked over at him and shrugged her shoulders. “Yes and no. I wandered from station to station for a few years picking up odd jobs to get by. I ran errands for gang bosses for a few months. Got arrested for stealing, twice.” Garrus flicked his mandibles and Shepard gave him a crooked smile. “I bet they didn’t mention that in the vids."
Garrus shook his head, “No, no they didn’t.”
“After a while I got tired of it. I had to accept that whatever hopes and dreams I’d had were gone. My whole family, all my friends, almost everyone I’d ever known was dead and I was wasting my life working for thugs. I went to the Alliance, they’d saved me after all, and they didn’t ask too many questions. After a few years of service they cleared my record. It was a chance at a fresh start and they became my like my new family. I’ve never told him but I looked up to Captain- Excuse me, Councilor Anderson like a father.”
Shepard drained the last of her beer and put the glass down with a loud thud. “Enough of that, I’ve spent too much of your time tonight ‘waxing goddamned nostalgic’ as Zaeed would say, I should get some shut eye.” She stood up to go, “Next time it’s your turn.”
“Alright. Good night Merr.”
“Night Garrus.”
---***----
He stared at the empty space where Shepard had been sitting after she left. The vids had mentioned that she was one of the few survivors of the raid and at some level he realized that meant that she had lost her family. He'd never really thought about it though, what it must have been like to be young and suddenly alone like that. “I had to accept that whatever hopes and dreams I’d had were gone. My whole family, all of my friends, almost everyone I’d ever known was dead.” There were parallels to where they were now, except she had been the one that died and the rest of them had to figure out how go on without her. He understood why she might want to hold on to the past. How many times can you have your life ripped out from under you and then keep going?