The Perfect Other meme...
Well, seeing as spektre said, "Eh, if anyone feels like doing this, then just post, and we'll pretend I tagged you. (since he figured his readership wouldn't have 8 victims, er persons, to tag)" I figured I'd give it a try.
The tagged victim must come up with 10 different points of their perfect other.
- Need to mention gender of target.
- Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment saying they've been tagged.
- If tagged again, there's no need to post a 2nd time.
So...let's see, I'm still sort of unsure as to why I'm not interested in most girls, but a few just floor me...so, for this exercise, I guess I'll stick to my (im)perfect 'guy'. ("I dislike perfection, its over-rated", says the chicka with a perfectionist streak. Go figure).
1) Honesty. He doesn't have to be perfect, just honest with me. No 'I wanted to spare your feelings', No 'its a social white lie', No 'but no harm is done'. There is some wriggle room for the spare feelings/social white lie when he's dealing with others, but with me, lie on the little stuff and I'll distrust him with most things. That said, there are times when silence and the hedging answer can come in handy. *wink*
2) Humour. Life is tough enough as it is, and god/dess/es know I can be too serious sometimes...if he makes me laugh then he's won more than half the battle. Seriously, I have fits of "if I don't laugh, I'll cry"....belive me, he wants to be able to make me laugh....the crying times aren't much fun. Also, while small amounts of crass/toilet humour have their place (Fat Bastard comes to mind, and well...pretty much all of South Park) a steady stream is a bit over-bearing. Clever and Intelligent is the best, Weird/Absurd/Surreal always good, Black/Morbid/Satire when done well. A partial listing of favourites, the (im)perfect guy would be familiar with at least some of the following: Josh Wheadon, Oscar Wilde, Lenny Bruce, Elvira Kurtz, Richard Belzar, the Simpsons, Monty Python, Edward Gorey, Bill Hicks, Stanley Kubrick, Chris Rock, Richard Pryor, Jon Stewart, Chuck Palahniuk, Bill Maher, Margaret Cho...I could go on.
3) Kind. The tender-hearted loving-kindness that we don't always talk about, or live up to, but that make the world bearable and a better place. Cynicism and trash talk are fine over a beer with friends, but, when it comes down to it, he aim to treat people with civility and respect. He cares about the world and the people in it, and tries to be the better person himself.
4) Likes information and discussion and ideas and likes to talk about them. Infinite curiousity about stuff. Wants to understand things. I'm a talker and I like to discuss anything and everything...argue/debate/discuss...all of it in it's place. If he can't keep up with me on that, then, there might be room for a quiet/silent type...so long as he doesn't mind me rambling on (and on) about stuff.
5) He's not jealous. Friends and Relationships are up for negotiation. I wouldn't go so far to say "anything goes", but, "anything is up for discussion and possible compromises".
6) That reminds me, he's able to compromise, meet me half-way, sometimes more, sometimes less...its the effort towards resolution that matters. General relativity is not a bad thing, black/white thinking is discouraged, if he's a good negotiator/mediator, all the better.
7) Which leads to, has to have some even-keeled calmness, at least when dealing with me. I get intense, I get passionate, I get...stubborn. Someone who can look me calmly in the face, and say "shhh...I have a whole bag of shhhh, and I'm not afraid to use it" when I'm getting out of hand. Basically, he's allowed to have his melt-downs too, just better for all if he can help me head mine off at the pass.
8) Loves Music/Movies/Books... these are my life blood. If he owns a full size O.E.D. I might overlook a number of other deficiencies. Ecclectic, Diverse, Different, Endless Curiosity....these apply to these three sources of entertainment/information. (#2 and #4 go hand and hand with #8).
9) He's willing to put effort into the relationship... a healthy friendship, relationship, family, friend.... all parties contribute to the well-being of the dynamics and interactions, and take action when it appears that there are issues/fault-lines. He does NOT wait til the 'final last chance i'm walking out the door now' to say, 'hey, you're right, there's stuff we need to work on'.
10) The (im)perfect guy would see friendship and partnership as the basis to a relationship, and would see sexuality as the energy that permeates it. Sex positive, healthy attitudes, and willing to work on any issues/hang-ups that might be lurking. Sex is not a weapon, duty, or chore. He would have some understanding that our sexuality is part of who we are at the core of us, and its expression, in myriad ways, is to be celebrated, not denigrated.
Okay...so that was entirely too long. *wry grin*. What can I say? I've been thinking about friendships, friends with benefits, relationships, life partners, etc a lot lately.
PS - I can't be bothered to tag, do it if you want to.