Sexuality--It's Ridiculous (1/?)
Title: Sexuality--It's Ridiculous
Pairing: KyuHae
Rating: PG-13 (For Now :P)
Disclaimer: I have a facebook friend who lives in Seoul...does that count?
Summary: Kyuhyun's probably the straightest guy you've ever met; he likes booze, his job, and women. But what happens when his best friend Heechul decides he's had enough and propositions host Donghae to do his best to change this fact about Kyuhyun? Will it work? Or will there be more problems deciding Kyuhyun's sexuality?
Ridiculous.
That’s exactly what this was to Kyuhyun. Ridiculous. There really was no other way to describe it. He was being dragged to a host club-yes, a host club, as in a bar that you bought drinks for ridiculous amounts of money from a good-looking, over made up host who thought it was necessary to drown you with compliments because those paid drinks made up his salary. What was worse was this host club was a gay host club. Males went and paid other males to dote on them. But here was the problem: Kyuhyun was not gay.
So why was he going? For his openly gay, openly bitchy friend Heechul. There was never a day people didn’t question just how the two became friends. Their personalities-not to mention sexualities-were nearly exact opposites, ranging from one spectrum to another. However through all the ridiculousness that was their friendship, they were probably closer to each other than twin brothers literally joined at the hip. Kyuhyun had met Heechul, well more likely crashed into him, on the highway. I guess you can see what actually happened. Kyuhyun had been busy trying to get passed traffic so as to not be late for his meeting and Heechul had been busy taking his time in his hot pink car, more inclined to look at himself in the rear view mirror than the car getting dangerously close to his bumper. The situation led to Heechul yelling about how the hell Kyuhyun could’ve missed that kind of car and Kyuhyun yelling about how Heechul should pick up the pace and not stare at himself the whole time because there wasn’t much to look at anyways. Heechul, obviously, hadn’t taken that too lightly and decided to spend the rest of the day trying to teach Kyuhyun how wrong he was and they had been best friends ever since. Ridiculous right?
Back to the situation at hand, Kyuhyun was staring at himself in the mirror, running his hands through the sticky hair that Heechul had found necessary to put in such a state. He mentally sighed, knowing there was no way he was getting out of this. It was Heechul’s birthday, and if he wanted to go get drunk in the company of “hot” men, then that was how it was going to be. No amount of whining or pleading would get him out of it. So when Heechul opened the bathroom door and said something about hurrying the fuck up, Kyuhyun began to mentally prepare himself for the life long scarring that was surely going to occur. Because Kyuhyun wasn’t gay.
He walked out of the bathroom, thoroughly prepared for the dress check that Heechul would give him. He chose an all black suit with a white bow tie, figuring that even a host club would require some decent dressing. He was proving wrong however when Heechul clicked his tongue.
“We’re not visiting your grandmother Kyuhyun, I’d prefer to get laid tonight. Dressing like that will make them think we’re straight or something.”
“Well I am straight, so I think I’ll stick with what I’m wearing thanks.”
“Uh, no your not. Take it off.”
“No.” was Kyuhyun’s curt reply. He wasn’t letting Heechul get his way with this.
“Kyuhyun, I have more than enough experience getting men out of their clothes, I’m not afraid to start educating you on my technique.”
Kyuhyun narrowed his eyes, “Well sorry Heechul, but the more I’m able to look straight and not get raped by a man, the more willing I am to stick with that idea. I’m not changing.”
They stood like that for a minute, staring at each other searching for some sort of weakness, trying to figure out who was going to crack first. Then Heechul decided he was gonna go for guilt.
“But Kyu, it’s my birthday; it only comes once a year. Last year you forgot about it, you owe me. It’s just one night; you’ll never see them again. Just please?”
Well fuck. “Fine, but if one of them hits on me, I’m leaving.”
Plastering that little victorious smirk that Kim Heechul seemed to only know how to pull off on his face, he walked forward, ripped Kyuhyun’s bow tie off, stripped him of his jacket, and loosened the buttons of his dress shirt. He stepped back and eyed his work.
“Eh, it’s a little gayer, okay let’s go.” Kyuhyun mentally groaned. He was going to hate Heechul forever for this.
The ride to the host club consisted of Kyuhyun trying to take the longest way possible and Heechul bitching because he was subtracting from his time to grab a few asses.
Finally pulling up to the suspicious looking building covered in neon lights advertising everything that it offered, Kyuhyun mentally groaned.
Walking into the building was a confirmation to all of Kyuhyun’s fears. The room was dimly lit, walls covered in gold fabric, a disco ball in the middle. Booths littered the room in intervals, groups of men sitting at them laughing a little too loud, talking a little too obnoxiously. Kyuhyun’s annoyance level was growing steadily, Heechul’s hand a vice grip on his elbow, the exit sign mocking him from behind. The same words were running through his mind, what the fuck did I do to deserve this type of cruel and unusual punishment?
At that moment, a man dressed in too much pink for Kyuhyun’s liking pranced-there really was no other way to describe the man’s walk-over to them, a smile that seemed to be permanently attached to his face lighting his already adorable features.
“Annyeong!” Ouch, “I’m Sungmin,” cue overly cute smile here, “Welcome to the Flower Boys host club where we please all of your desires, do you have any preferences?”
Kyuhyun didn’t quite understand the question but Heechul obviously did. Shocker was all Kyuhyun thought. “Someone who can turn a straight man gay,” was Heechul’s only reply. Oh, Kyuhyun thought, host preferences. The ridiculousness of Heechul’s request almost made Kyuhyun laugh aloud but Sungmin didn’t seem to think so as he caught Heechul’s motion towards him and a devious smile replaced his sunshine one. Well that can’t be good.
“Follow me,” was his only reply. Passing by the tables of obviously drunk, obviously broke men, they made it to a table in the back away from most of the noise, something Kyuhyun was very thankful for. What Kyuhyun wasn’t thankful for however, was the man that was introducing himself. Kyuhyun had never in any way been attracted to men. Women were all he cared about, being able to win them over whenever he felt like it. He was good with women, his lack of virginity large enough proof for that. But this man in front of him was something that deserved to be stared at and a statue made for him and placed in downtown Seoul for all to admire. But he stopped himself there. Because he wasn’t gay. But this man was seriously testing that. He was medium height, about 177-180 centimeters, dark chocolate brown here resting about his eyes, styled to perfection. He had large chocolate orbs for eyes and they stood out against his smooth complexion. Under his blazer, you could tell his body was well built. Kyuhyun barely registered the, “Hello, I’m Lee Donghae,” because he was busy staring him up and down.
But no, Cho Kyuhyun was not attracted to Lee Donghae. Because no, he wasn’t gay. And because yes, he was only attracted to women. Kyuhyun told himself this a lot, but it was only tonight when he felt that the words were a tiny bit off. He ignored it.
Heechul watched Kyuhyun’s face, reading it for any signs of weakness as Donghae returned Kyuhyun’s stare. He could see the mild amusement on the host’s face. He knew exactly what was happening to Kyuhyun even if he himself didn’t. And god, it was just about the funniest thing to Heechul. He suppressed a laugh. Oh yes, he was going to enjoy this a lot.
Then Kyuhyun realized what was happening. Heechul was getting his way. And he didn’t like it. So he turned up the straight. He slid out of the booth for Donghae to sit, sliding back in as the host settled himself next to Heechul.
No matter how much Heechul wanted Kyuhyun to finally give up his macho act and admit that homosexuality wasn’t going to be the ruin of him, he couldn’t pass this moment up; this Donghae person was just too delicious.
“Just so you know, I really just want to lick you all over.” Heechul said, watching the host’s face.
Donghae just smiled, “I’m glad to say that the feeling is mutual.”
Heechul smirked, “Naturally.”
The conversation moved on to more dirty talk, the ordering of drinks, and even more dirty talk. Kyuhyun stared mildly disgusted. He felt his attraction to the man draining as he overheard their conversation, graphic images unwillingly racing through his mind. This was definitely not something he wanted to hear. He took a swig of his over-priced champagne and excused himself to the bathroom.
Heechul took his chance, “He’s not gay.”
Donghae laughed, “I noticed. Kind of a shame.”
“Well then fix it, I requested someone who could turn a man gay, Sungmin gave me you. I’m guessing there was a reason for that.”
The host lost his smile, replacing it with one of business. He picked up a glass and downed it, “Well I don’t do things for free, I have rent to pay. Something like that is gonna cost you.”
Heechul watched the smirk grow on Donghae’s face. This was going to be a wonderful birthday present. He pulled out his check book.
“How much?”
Chapter 2
Pairing: KyuHae
Rating: PG-13 (For Now :P)
Disclaimer: I have a facebook friend who lives in Seoul...does that count?
Summary: Kyuhyun's probably the straightest guy you've ever met; he likes booze, his job, and women. But what happens when his best friend Heechul decides he's had enough and propositions host Donghae to do his best to change this fact about Kyuhyun? Will it work? Or will there be more problems deciding Kyuhyun's sexuality?
Ridiculous.
That’s exactly what this was to Kyuhyun. Ridiculous. There really was no other way to describe it. He was being dragged to a host club-yes, a host club, as in a bar that you bought drinks for ridiculous amounts of money from a good-looking, over made up host who thought it was necessary to drown you with compliments because those paid drinks made up his salary. What was worse was this host club was a gay host club. Males went and paid other males to dote on them. But here was the problem: Kyuhyun was not gay.
So why was he going? For his openly gay, openly bitchy friend Heechul. There was never a day people didn’t question just how the two became friends. Their personalities-not to mention sexualities-were nearly exact opposites, ranging from one spectrum to another. However through all the ridiculousness that was their friendship, they were probably closer to each other than twin brothers literally joined at the hip. Kyuhyun had met Heechul, well more likely crashed into him, on the highway. I guess you can see what actually happened. Kyuhyun had been busy trying to get passed traffic so as to not be late for his meeting and Heechul had been busy taking his time in his hot pink car, more inclined to look at himself in the rear view mirror than the car getting dangerously close to his bumper. The situation led to Heechul yelling about how the hell Kyuhyun could’ve missed that kind of car and Kyuhyun yelling about how Heechul should pick up the pace and not stare at himself the whole time because there wasn’t much to look at anyways. Heechul, obviously, hadn’t taken that too lightly and decided to spend the rest of the day trying to teach Kyuhyun how wrong he was and they had been best friends ever since. Ridiculous right?
Back to the situation at hand, Kyuhyun was staring at himself in the mirror, running his hands through the sticky hair that Heechul had found necessary to put in such a state. He mentally sighed, knowing there was no way he was getting out of this. It was Heechul’s birthday, and if he wanted to go get drunk in the company of “hot” men, then that was how it was going to be. No amount of whining or pleading would get him out of it. So when Heechul opened the bathroom door and said something about hurrying the fuck up, Kyuhyun began to mentally prepare himself for the life long scarring that was surely going to occur. Because Kyuhyun wasn’t gay.
He walked out of the bathroom, thoroughly prepared for the dress check that Heechul would give him. He chose an all black suit with a white bow tie, figuring that even a host club would require some decent dressing. He was proving wrong however when Heechul clicked his tongue.
“We’re not visiting your grandmother Kyuhyun, I’d prefer to get laid tonight. Dressing like that will make them think we’re straight or something.”
“Well I am straight, so I think I’ll stick with what I’m wearing thanks.”
“Uh, no your not. Take it off.”
“No.” was Kyuhyun’s curt reply. He wasn’t letting Heechul get his way with this.
“Kyuhyun, I have more than enough experience getting men out of their clothes, I’m not afraid to start educating you on my technique.”
Kyuhyun narrowed his eyes, “Well sorry Heechul, but the more I’m able to look straight and not get raped by a man, the more willing I am to stick with that idea. I’m not changing.”
They stood like that for a minute, staring at each other searching for some sort of weakness, trying to figure out who was going to crack first. Then Heechul decided he was gonna go for guilt.
“But Kyu, it’s my birthday; it only comes once a year. Last year you forgot about it, you owe me. It’s just one night; you’ll never see them again. Just please?”
Well fuck. “Fine, but if one of them hits on me, I’m leaving.”
Plastering that little victorious smirk that Kim Heechul seemed to only know how to pull off on his face, he walked forward, ripped Kyuhyun’s bow tie off, stripped him of his jacket, and loosened the buttons of his dress shirt. He stepped back and eyed his work.
“Eh, it’s a little gayer, okay let’s go.” Kyuhyun mentally groaned. He was going to hate Heechul forever for this.
The ride to the host club consisted of Kyuhyun trying to take the longest way possible and Heechul bitching because he was subtracting from his time to grab a few asses.
Finally pulling up to the suspicious looking building covered in neon lights advertising everything that it offered, Kyuhyun mentally groaned.
Walking into the building was a confirmation to all of Kyuhyun’s fears. The room was dimly lit, walls covered in gold fabric, a disco ball in the middle. Booths littered the room in intervals, groups of men sitting at them laughing a little too loud, talking a little too obnoxiously. Kyuhyun’s annoyance level was growing steadily, Heechul’s hand a vice grip on his elbow, the exit sign mocking him from behind. The same words were running through his mind, what the fuck did I do to deserve this type of cruel and unusual punishment?
At that moment, a man dressed in too much pink for Kyuhyun’s liking pranced-there really was no other way to describe the man’s walk-over to them, a smile that seemed to be permanently attached to his face lighting his already adorable features.
“Annyeong!” Ouch, “I’m Sungmin,” cue overly cute smile here, “Welcome to the Flower Boys host club where we please all of your desires, do you have any preferences?”
Kyuhyun didn’t quite understand the question but Heechul obviously did. Shocker was all Kyuhyun thought. “Someone who can turn a straight man gay,” was Heechul’s only reply. Oh, Kyuhyun thought, host preferences. The ridiculousness of Heechul’s request almost made Kyuhyun laugh aloud but Sungmin didn’t seem to think so as he caught Heechul’s motion towards him and a devious smile replaced his sunshine one. Well that can’t be good.
“Follow me,” was his only reply. Passing by the tables of obviously drunk, obviously broke men, they made it to a table in the back away from most of the noise, something Kyuhyun was very thankful for. What Kyuhyun wasn’t thankful for however, was the man that was introducing himself. Kyuhyun had never in any way been attracted to men. Women were all he cared about, being able to win them over whenever he felt like it. He was good with women, his lack of virginity large enough proof for that. But this man in front of him was something that deserved to be stared at and a statue made for him and placed in downtown Seoul for all to admire. But he stopped himself there. Because he wasn’t gay. But this man was seriously testing that. He was medium height, about 177-180 centimeters, dark chocolate brown here resting about his eyes, styled to perfection. He had large chocolate orbs for eyes and they stood out against his smooth complexion. Under his blazer, you could tell his body was well built. Kyuhyun barely registered the, “Hello, I’m Lee Donghae,” because he was busy staring him up and down.
But no, Cho Kyuhyun was not attracted to Lee Donghae. Because no, he wasn’t gay. And because yes, he was only attracted to women. Kyuhyun told himself this a lot, but it was only tonight when he felt that the words were a tiny bit off. He ignored it.
Heechul watched Kyuhyun’s face, reading it for any signs of weakness as Donghae returned Kyuhyun’s stare. He could see the mild amusement on the host’s face. He knew exactly what was happening to Kyuhyun even if he himself didn’t. And god, it was just about the funniest thing to Heechul. He suppressed a laugh. Oh yes, he was going to enjoy this a lot.
Then Kyuhyun realized what was happening. Heechul was getting his way. And he didn’t like it. So he turned up the straight. He slid out of the booth for Donghae to sit, sliding back in as the host settled himself next to Heechul.
No matter how much Heechul wanted Kyuhyun to finally give up his macho act and admit that homosexuality wasn’t going to be the ruin of him, he couldn’t pass this moment up; this Donghae person was just too delicious.
“Just so you know, I really just want to lick you all over.” Heechul said, watching the host’s face.
Donghae just smiled, “I’m glad to say that the feeling is mutual.”
Heechul smirked, “Naturally.”
The conversation moved on to more dirty talk, the ordering of drinks, and even more dirty talk. Kyuhyun stared mildly disgusted. He felt his attraction to the man draining as he overheard their conversation, graphic images unwillingly racing through his mind. This was definitely not something he wanted to hear. He took a swig of his over-priced champagne and excused himself to the bathroom.
Heechul took his chance, “He’s not gay.”
Donghae laughed, “I noticed. Kind of a shame.”
“Well then fix it, I requested someone who could turn a man gay, Sungmin gave me you. I’m guessing there was a reason for that.”
The host lost his smile, replacing it with one of business. He picked up a glass and downed it, “Well I don’t do things for free, I have rent to pay. Something like that is gonna cost you.”
Heechul watched the smirk grow on Donghae’s face. This was going to be a wonderful birthday present. He pulled out his check book.
“How much?”
Chapter 2