(no subject)
I'm so bad at writing things. Well, let's see, a general life update:
1. Worked really hard to save for quite a while to get a new computer.
2. Got new computer, didn't turn on out of the box. This has led to an ongoing circus of issues, and I now have a completely dead computer. I can't work, I'm frustrated that nothing ever just goes smoothly, and I'm waiting on ibuypower (the company I bought from) to respond to me again.
3. Don't buy from ibuypower unless you're fine with dealing with minimal effort on their part and having to fix their mistakes for them.
4. Wes is on vacation, I'm home alone. Taking care of his cat. Cat is needy. Allergies are starting to kill me because I feel like if I don't let him out, he'll get anxiety. He's cute, though.
5. It's been raining a lot.
6. My thoughts have mostly been dark. December has always been a very, very hard month for me, and this one has been no exception. I've been distracting myself a lot with video games. I'm trying to not even think about Christmas. Not being able to work means I can't afford gifts anyway. Fortunately (I suppose) I also haven't and know I won't be getting any gifts(estranged family, no local friends since I moved), so I don't have to worry much about guilt from being unable to reciprocate.
7. Coming to terms with the fact that if I literally just poofed into thin air right this moment, I don't think anybody would really notice. If they did, it would take a long time. It's a really bizarre, unreal feeling. My absolute refusal to talk to people if I don't think I can pretend to be happy doesn't help this, I'm sure. I'm nothing if not self-aware.
8. I've been walking a lot lately. It helps. My legs feel a lot better! I've also lost some weight. I've never entirely understood why I'm as big as I am, even if I'm not quite obese. I have a pretty good diet (I cook like 90% of my meals, and it's mostly just meat and veggies, not processed stuff, Wes can back me up on this), I don't eat much in the way of junk, I don't -overeat- (I just eat enough to be content, not full), I drink water all day, and now I'm throwing as much exercise as I can feasibly set aside time for into the mix. But I'm pretty sure I'm always going to be chubby. That's nature, I suppose.
9. Realizing I never want my hair to get past my ears again.
10. Pretty lonely without any pets.
11. Wes got us the new (well, remakes) pokemon games. I haven't even opened mine yet. Been grinding in Fantasy Life instead. I'll get tired of it eventually though, I'm sure.
12. I have been super down on my art. Now that I work for a place, I've received a fair amount of harassment about how my work totally sucks. I don't think these people understand that anything they say to me are things I say to myself every day, much more viciously than they EVER could.
Hmmm.. I think that's about it.
1. Worked really hard to save for quite a while to get a new computer.
2. Got new computer, didn't turn on out of the box. This has led to an ongoing circus of issues, and I now have a completely dead computer. I can't work, I'm frustrated that nothing ever just goes smoothly, and I'm waiting on ibuypower (the company I bought from) to respond to me again.
3. Don't buy from ibuypower unless you're fine with dealing with minimal effort on their part and having to fix their mistakes for them.
4. Wes is on vacation, I'm home alone. Taking care of his cat. Cat is needy. Allergies are starting to kill me because I feel like if I don't let him out, he'll get anxiety. He's cute, though.
5. It's been raining a lot.
6. My thoughts have mostly been dark. December has always been a very, very hard month for me, and this one has been no exception. I've been distracting myself a lot with video games. I'm trying to not even think about Christmas. Not being able to work means I can't afford gifts anyway. Fortunately (I suppose) I also haven't and know I won't be getting any gifts(estranged family, no local friends since I moved), so I don't have to worry much about guilt from being unable to reciprocate.
7. Coming to terms with the fact that if I literally just poofed into thin air right this moment, I don't think anybody would really notice. If they did, it would take a long time. It's a really bizarre, unreal feeling. My absolute refusal to talk to people if I don't think I can pretend to be happy doesn't help this, I'm sure. I'm nothing if not self-aware.
8. I've been walking a lot lately. It helps. My legs feel a lot better! I've also lost some weight. I've never entirely understood why I'm as big as I am, even if I'm not quite obese. I have a pretty good diet (I cook like 90% of my meals, and it's mostly just meat and veggies, not processed stuff, Wes can back me up on this), I don't eat much in the way of junk, I don't -overeat- (I just eat enough to be content, not full), I drink water all day, and now I'm throwing as much exercise as I can feasibly set aside time for into the mix. But I'm pretty sure I'm always going to be chubby. That's nature, I suppose.
9. Realizing I never want my hair to get past my ears again.
10. Pretty lonely without any pets.
11. Wes got us the new (well, remakes) pokemon games. I haven't even opened mine yet. Been grinding in Fantasy Life instead. I'll get tired of it eventually though, I'm sure.
12. I have been super down on my art. Now that I work for a place, I've received a fair amount of harassment about how my work totally sucks. I don't think these people understand that anything they say to me are things I say to myself every day, much more viciously than they EVER could.
Hmmm.. I think that's about it.