Gleaner of Souls: Act II, scene ii (REVISED)

[kayliemalinza]

this fucking chapter i swear to god

Hopefully this will be the last revision. I really need to get some feedback. I don't know if this is too opaque, dull, confusing, etc.

Act 1
Act 2, scene 1

Comments

[kel_reiley]

OH THERE'S MORE! I missed your updates, so I am bookmarking this for later when I have time/brain power. YAY!

[kayliemalinza]

Eeeeeeee goody, thank you! I'm especially looking to see if it MAKES SENSE because I'm stuck in that No Man's Land between not focusing too much on original characters (because readers want canon characters) and giving enough of the OCs that readers can start to connect with them.

Not to mention-- INFO DUMP CITY. If there is anything that doesn't track or is confusing or just plain dull, PLEASE TELL ME!!! I always make the story structure too complicated and pretentious. It's totally self-indulgent, but I want to make sure it's readable, too.

[kel_reiley]

WILL DO. I'm going to go back and start from the beginning.

[kayliemalinza]

*poke* Have you gotten around to reading this yet?