Rambleverse not!fic: Joanna Banana
This is typed up from notes and cleaned up a smidgen. Takes place during Jim's first year at the Academy (or second year, depending on when The Ex was supposed to come in as The XO. I forget what I'd worked out for the timeline. SOZ.)
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Pike convinces Joanna that her middle name is "Banana."
"Your pop thought it would be funny," he explains.
She's suspicious but he is very persuasive, and he uses her suspicious nature against her--her parents could have easily perpetuated a conspiracy (she asks what "perpetuated" means, or how to spell it so she can look it up on her comm. She is more malleable when she is treated as an adult, even if it means talking far over her head.)
Later that day, Joanna is giving her daddy the stink-eye.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asks.
"No reason." [bitter as fuck]
"Baby, just tell me what you think I did."
"No! You might HIDE THE EVIDENCE!"
"Oh my Jesus Christ."
Joanna isn't completely sold, but does go to interrogate her mother.
"Mama, is my middle name 'Banana?'"
Josa don't even bother raising an eyebrow. "You know full well your middle name is not 'Banana.'"
"May I have proof of that, please?"
"Excuse me?"
"I wanna see my birth certificate."
Well that's a pretty reasonable request and it'll shut this down neat, so Josa pulls up the digital copy on her PADD. No Banana in sight.
Joanna is livid. She storms into Pike's office (completely disregarding Luke, who does not have her down for an appointment) and screeches as mellifluously as she knows how. Pike nearly dies laughing.
J: "I'm NEVER trusting you again! I'm not listening to you anymore!"
P: "Say, Jo, did you know that homo sapiens need oxygen to survive?"
J: "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU."
Naturally, Jim overhears this part, sans context, just before Joanna storms out of the office and runs into him.
Jim: "Hey Joanna, what's wrong?"
Jo: "CAPTAIN PIKE IS A FILTHY LIAR AND I HATE HIM."
From deep within his Lair of Evil, Pike chuckles.
This entry is cross-posted from http://kayliemalinza.dreamwidth.org/333778.html (
comments.)
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Pike convinces Joanna that her middle name is "Banana."
"Your pop thought it would be funny," he explains.
She's suspicious but he is very persuasive, and he uses her suspicious nature against her--her parents could have easily perpetuated a conspiracy (she asks what "perpetuated" means, or how to spell it so she can look it up on her comm. She is more malleable when she is treated as an adult, even if it means talking far over her head.)
Later that day, Joanna is giving her daddy the stink-eye.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asks.
"No reason." [bitter as fuck]
"Baby, just tell me what you think I did."
"No! You might HIDE THE EVIDENCE!"
"Oh my Jesus Christ."
Joanna isn't completely sold, but does go to interrogate her mother.
"Mama, is my middle name 'Banana?'"
Josa don't even bother raising an eyebrow. "You know full well your middle name is not 'Banana.'"
"May I have proof of that, please?"
"Excuse me?"
"I wanna see my birth certificate."
Well that's a pretty reasonable request and it'll shut this down neat, so Josa pulls up the digital copy on her PADD. No Banana in sight.
Joanna is livid. She storms into Pike's office (completely disregarding Luke, who does not have her down for an appointment) and screeches as mellifluously as she knows how. Pike nearly dies laughing.
J: "I'm NEVER trusting you again! I'm not listening to you anymore!"
P: "Say, Jo, did you know that homo sapiens need oxygen to survive?"
J: "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU."
Naturally, Jim overhears this part, sans context, just before Joanna storms out of the office and runs into him.
Jim: "Hey Joanna, what's wrong?"
Jo: "CAPTAIN PIKE IS A FILTHY LIAR AND I HATE HIM."
From deep within his Lair of Evil, Pike chuckles.
This entry is cross-posted from http://kayliemalinza.dreamwidth.org/333778.html (
comments.)