I'd rather live with a Pack of Monkeys
This is also posted to my regular blog
so my roommate
My roommate who has lived in this apartment for about the last two years.
He had about 20 people over on saturday; made a hell of a lot of dirty dishes which are (I'm sure) still sitting dirty in the sink.
They clogged the toilet; which I didn't find out until right before bedtime last night.
The weather was getting assful, so I decided to just let it hang until the next day because I was tired and didn't feel like going out again to buy yet another essential item for the apartment that my roommate doesn't have and wouldn't contribute anything toward. He wasn't home anyway; figured he wouldn't be home that night.
Go to bed at about 11:30.
12:30 comes and BANG BANG BANG on my door. "What?"
"The toilet's clogged"
"Yeah, I was going to take care of it in the morning"
"Well, I'm not cleaning this up"
"Did it overflow?"
"What am I supposed to do?"
What you're supposed to do, motherfucker, is since you just came home, put your goddamned shoes back on and go to the store and buy a plunger for the toilet and come back and unclog what your friends did on Saturday.
"I'll take care of it in the morning"
"But what am I supposed to do til then?"
"Ugh, just a minute"
Getting up, getting out of bed, getting re-dressed.
"I'm sorry, I know it's late, but I live here too"
"Yeah, and the toilet was clogged when I came home, and I have to work in the morning"
Leaving, going to two stores to find a stupid plunger.
To David: "You know, he's lucky you were here, otherwise I would have just gone out there in my Pjs all 'sorry, I don't have a car or any money, I guess you're going to have to go buy a plunger because there isn't anything I can do about it right now' and that would have been that."
Come back, it is almost 1am.
Plunge the toilet, go to bed.
Five minutes later, the front door slams loudly; shaking the entire building.
"Wtf, did he just leave?"
Cracking the door to check: nope, he is still there.
Snide remark through the door:
"You left the damn door open"
WELL I AM SORRY YOUR HIGHNESS THAT YOU HAD TO GET OFF YOUR ASS TO DO SOMETHING. I'M SORRY YOUR FRIENDS CLOGGED THE TOILET.
Most of all, I am sorry that you will have no idea what the fuck you should do ever should a real crisis ever arise in your small, sheltered life.
so my roommate
My roommate who has lived in this apartment for about the last two years.
He had about 20 people over on saturday; made a hell of a lot of dirty dishes which are (I'm sure) still sitting dirty in the sink.
They clogged the toilet; which I didn't find out until right before bedtime last night.
The weather was getting assful, so I decided to just let it hang until the next day because I was tired and didn't feel like going out again to buy yet another essential item for the apartment that my roommate doesn't have and wouldn't contribute anything toward. He wasn't home anyway; figured he wouldn't be home that night.
Go to bed at about 11:30.
12:30 comes and BANG BANG BANG on my door. "What?"
"The toilet's clogged"
"Yeah, I was going to take care of it in the morning"
"Well, I'm not cleaning this up"
"Did it overflow?"
"What am I supposed to do?"
What you're supposed to do, motherfucker, is since you just came home, put your goddamned shoes back on and go to the store and buy a plunger for the toilet and come back and unclog what your friends did on Saturday.
"I'll take care of it in the morning"
"But what am I supposed to do til then?"
"Ugh, just a minute"
Getting up, getting out of bed, getting re-dressed.
"I'm sorry, I know it's late, but I live here too"
"Yeah, and the toilet was clogged when I came home, and I have to work in the morning"
Leaving, going to two stores to find a stupid plunger.
To David: "You know, he's lucky you were here, otherwise I would have just gone out there in my Pjs all 'sorry, I don't have a car or any money, I guess you're going to have to go buy a plunger because there isn't anything I can do about it right now' and that would have been that."
Come back, it is almost 1am.
Plunge the toilet, go to bed.
Five minutes later, the front door slams loudly; shaking the entire building.
"Wtf, did he just leave?"
Cracking the door to check: nope, he is still there.
Snide remark through the door:
"You left the damn door open"
WELL I AM SORRY YOUR HIGHNESS THAT YOU HAD TO GET OFF YOUR ASS TO DO SOMETHING. I'M SORRY YOUR FRIENDS CLOGGED THE TOILET.
Most of all, I am sorry that you will have no idea what the fuck you should do ever should a real crisis ever arise in your small, sheltered life.