Well, I wondered how I could teach him....

[kayoteelsewhere]

In response to another friend's post I noted concern over how I would raise my son to see people as people, avoiding the elitism that oozes through society. The specific topic was gender, and my comment was

Comments

[prophet_maid]

I've put a good deal of thought into this; 2 years of trying will do that to you. Modeling is a big one. If you and Jon treat each other with respect, it will do more for him than any "teachable moment" would.

Of course, I'll probably be dealing with the exact same situation, vis a vis slut-shaming.

I'm terrified of when my daughter starts internalizing all this misogynistic crap. I've pretty much banned most television, she'll be homeschooled, we won't allow the princess crap or any licensed character toys, and still I know it's going to happen. And I'll probably react violently, though obviously not at her.

Parenting is HARD.

[mirandir]

That is... distressingly relevant.

[skywind8]

Another piece (eventually) will be talking through how women's anger is treated in society. Men can be grumpy, irritable, swearing, frustrated, and generally pissy when they're on the job and something goes wrong. If a woman does the same, she's viewed far more negatively for it. So conversations about social values... and appropriate anger... and double standards... will be launching points for discussions on perspectives, assumptions, and judgments.

It's more than just anger, though that makes a fairly obvious example. It's also expectations of confidence around knowledge; women are more likely to underestimate themselves while being competant; men are more likely to overestimate themselves and be less cautious. So he can come across as knowing what he's doing when he actually knows less, while she stands back or gets overlooked. The key is realizing that appearances can be deceiving.