Mentalist: Jane/Cho (Slash fic) [Jane's Death series part 1]
Finally this story is done! First thing I've written in years, and I finished it! Wow.
Despite the name of the fic, it is NOT fatal! Happy ending, guaranteed.
Title: Jane's Death
Author: Kaytee
Fandom: The Mentalist
Pairing: Jane/Cho
Email: kaytee4ever@gmail.com
Fic LJ: http://slashsanctuary.livejournal.com
Please do not post this to any lists without permission.
Disclaimer: Not mine; just having a bit of harmless fun. Will return them mostly unharmed. :-)
Summary: Jane's death sets many things into motion for Jane and Cho. But it's not fatal.
Jane's Death series
Part 1: Jane's Death
Notes: I could not find any mention of his wife's and daughter's names, so I made those up (Sarah and Claire, respectively). Also, there is no canon evidence for a young Jane messing around with a bee's nest but it's something you could easily see him doing.
Thanks to my gf and to SB for reading and rereading and giving me such valuable feedback in making this better! Also thanks to the ever-lovely talented Tenth Muse for giving it a look. Also, thanks to X for writing introducing me to the Jane/Cho pairing. :)
Jane's comment for the A/N: "Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. There is death here, sure, but it's not fatal."
Patrick Jane never saw it coming but he suddenly felt the white hot pain of a bullet entering his chest. It was a thousand times worse than when he'd "accidentally on purpose" knocked the bee's nest out of Mrs. Bain's tree at age 10. He'd run away, but they'd followed, stinging him over and over.
The world tilted and swam around him as he fell, strong arms catching him before he hit the ground. The air was filled with angry shouts and orders. He tried to make sense of it but gave up, focusing on the warm, solid body holding him upright. Cho, he identified by the faint, distinctive cologne. Cho, always so solid and real, unlike the monsters in Jane's head haunting his dreams, chasing away sleep. Cho and the rest of the team kept the monsters away, at least during the daytime. Jane closed his eyes and pretended he was back on his favorite couch in the office, letting the noise and confusion swarm around him, safe in the cocoon of the strong arms around him.
Jane shook his head, trying to shake the confusion and realized that he was on a gurney in an ambulance with an oxygen mask on and people shouting around him. Cho was there, gripping his hand tightly, his breathing fast and uneven, with a look Jane had never seen on his face. 'That's strange,' Jane thought to himself, 'Cho's never afraid, ever.'
Jane looked into Cho's terrified eyes and tried to summon up a smile and squeeze his hand back. Their eyes locked for an endless moment, a feeling of wordless communication passing between them. Something shifted in Cho's eyes, some new emotion. Jane tried to sort it out when he heard a shout, "He's crashing!" and everything blurred and went very still.
* * * * *
Jane looked around, blinking, at the garden he suddenly found himself in. He was sitting on a blanket, leaning against a tree. He looked up at the sky, warm and blue with just a few small white clouds dotting it. He heard a young girl's laughter and turned to see the who it was. He gasped as the sight of his wife and daughter filled his eyes; they looked just as when he'd last seen them, happy and alive.
"Sarah," he whispered brokenly, staring into his wife's beautiful eyes.
"Daddy!" His daughter Claire ran over to him, launching herself into his arms and clinging. "We've been waiting and waiting for you! You were late," she finished in a grumpy annoyed tone.
"Uh, I'm sorry?" Jane gave one of his abashed smiles, unable to resist how adorable she was. He hugged her tight and kissed her hair. "I missed you, sweetheart."
Claire pulled back, smiled and patted his face. "I forgive you, daddy." Then she thought a moment. "Wait, I forgot! I am mad at you!"
Jane raised an eyebrow then turned his head as his wife came over and sat down next to him. He loosened his hold on his daughter and wrapped an arm around Sarah, pulling her closer. He looked into her eyes, so close. Warm. Alive. Real. He kissed her smile, breathing in her familiar scent.
"Daddy. Daddy!" his daughter tugged on his arm.
Jane pulled back from the kiss with a sigh and stroked his wife's face. He looked at Claire with an indulgent smile, "What is it, sweetheart?"
She frowned and said crossly, "You are being mean to the nice man. Your friend. The one who's sad."
Jane was confused. "What sad man, honey?"
"Your friend with the dark hair who doesn't smile much except at you," she said sadly.
"Who? Oh," he said, realization dawning, "you mean Cho."
She nodded sadly.
"He's not sad. He just doesn't talk much or show it when he's happy." Jane said unconvincingly even to his own ears.
She shook her head and looked at her mom helplessly. "Tell him, mommy."
Sarah touched his face lightly; he turned to her. "You're the most perceptive person I know. You already know what I will say."
Jane's eyes widened and he shook his head. "Tell me," he whispered.
"You're breaking his heart, little by little. It's time to let him in. He'll help you find Red John and avenge us but most of all, he'll bring you back into life. Time to let us go and let him in."
Her words shook Jane to his core. It couldn't be true, could it? He turned it over and over in his mind, lost in puzzling it out.
She touched his face and smiled at him gently. "We'll be here waiting. But now, it's time to go."
* * * * *
Jane opened his eyes and gasped, "Cho!"
Startled, Cho sat up and looked at Jane with defeated red eyes. He was holding Jane's hand, his fingers gripping and releasing compulsively, his breathing quickened, showing an uncommon level of distress. Jane had repeatedly seen Cho face down serial killers without breaking a sweat; his rock solid interrogator gaze making even hardened criminals crumple like tissue paper. He never thought he'd see the normally unflappable Cho so shaken, especially at a little gunshot wound.
Jane frowned in confusion and reached toward's Cho's face with his free hand. "Cho?" he said in confusion and concern at his friend's unusual reaction.
Cho's mouth fell open and he just stared at him wordlessly in astonishment, gripping Jane's hand harder then he found his voice. He called out, his eyes, almost frantic, never leaving Jane's, "Here! In here! He's back!"
Doctors and nurses bustled in quickly, looking shocked. They looked at each other quickly then began working on him, checking his vitals, putting in an IV and turning various machines on. They fired instructions back and forth at each other, flashing a light in Jane's eyes and generally being annoying. Jane just wanted to go back to sleep.
They fired questions at him on the year, where he was, what had happened. He answered their questions curtly, his usual charm gone at the moment. He just wanted them gone.
The one steadfast thing in all the confusion was Cho.
The doctors pushed Cho to the side until Jane's sudden blood pressure spike alarmed them. Jane pushed them away, refusing to cooperate until Cho came back. They reluctantly allowed Cho back to his bedside and watched surprised as his blood pressure slowly came back to normal on its own.
After that, Cho refused to budge, still gripping Jane's hand like a lifeline and staring at him in amazement and shock, his breathing still quickened and his mouth opening and closing slightly but no words being said. His presence grounded Jane, kept him from telling all of them to go to hell.
Finally they stepped back, satisfied for the moment that Jane was okay. One of the nurses went to get him some pain meds while the others went back to their rounds, leaving the room suddenly, strangely quiet.
Cho was whispering something over and over. Jane frowned and tried to lean up, pulling on the hand gripping his to urge Cho closer. "What is it?"
Cho took a deep breath, shocked and strangely speechless, startling Jane into silence. Jane felt a faint quiver in the hand gripping his. "You were gone. Dead."
Jane shook his head said in annoyance, "No, I wasn't! I was here, sleeping. Had the strangest dream."
Cho's eyes widened and he looked strangely angry, his voice rising, breathing hard. "No! You were dead. I was here and you flatlined. They worked on you for 7 minutes then gave up. They called it. You were Dead!"
Jane shook his head in bewilderment at Cho's words and reactions as well as at his anger. It was all too strange to think about. A vague memory from his dream tried to come to the surface. He started to say something then he got interrupted by more people rushing into the room. Jane felt empty suddenly as Cho let his hand go to instead grip the bedrail tightly. Conflicting emotions flit by on his face, too fast for even Jane to identify.
"Jane!" Lisbon said in shock as she entered. Grace and Rigsby followed, also looking unbelievingly at Jane. Their eyes were red, too.
Jane started to feel angry at the confusion and their reactions. "I'm fine! Look I got shot, lost some blood, was unconscious and had a strange dream. But I'm fine!" He made a pathetic attempt at humor, "It was merely a flesh wound."
Grace and Rigsby looked at each other and shook their heads, starting to protest. Lisbon raised a hand, stopping them.
Lisbon's voice took on a strident, no-nonsense tone. "Jane! Listen to me," her voice softening somewhat. "You flatlined. You were dead for 7 minutes. You. Were. Dead."
Jane felt like he'd been punched in the stomach, suddenly winded. "Dead? But. You mean.... dead?" He looked at Cho, whose face had shuttered and closed off completely, as when Cho was interrogating a suspect.
Cho's jaw tightened, wearing his interrogator look, the only sign of unrest was the nerve jumping at the side of his jaw. He withdrew, crossing his arms across his chest and leaned against the back of the chair, pulling his warmth away completely. Jane shivered, suddenly chilled. "As a doornail."
Jane shook his head, unable to take it all in. He suddenly looked very small and a bit fragile.
The nurse chose that moment to come in and inject the pain meds into his IV. She checked his pulse then gently but efficiently urged the team to leave, promising that they could return in a few hours after he got some rest.
Cho stood up last, his eyes burning into Jane's with a strange unreadable expression, backing up slowly, seemingly reluctant to break eye contact. "You were gone...," he whispered faintly, almost to himself. Something shifted in his eyes and he suddenly seemed to slump, defeated. He turned around and left without another look back.
Jane stared after him and felt the medicine pulling him under to sleep. As he lost consciousness, a memory tugged insistently at him, nearly clear and at the surface. He whispered sadly, "Cho."
* * * * *
Jane's dreams were a chaotic, upsetting jumble. He saw flashes of his wife, his daugher, the team. But it was Cho that he kept trying to follow, chasing him elusively, always out of reach. He had to find him. Tell him. He forgot why exactly, but he knew it was important and he couldn't rest.
* * * * *
"About time you woke up, sleeping beauty," an exhausted yet slightly amused voice greeted him as he began to regain consciousness. He knew that voice. It had chased him in his dream, teasing and eluding him.
Jane's eyelids felt heavy but he struggled and finally was able to open his eyes at look at the owner of that much-loved voice. "Cho. You're here." Jane said softly, smiling at him, his expression open and unguarded.
Cho's eyes widened slightly at whatever he saw in Jane's eyes, then went back to his normal, dryly sarcastic look. "Of course, I'm here. You wouldn't rest until I came back." His eyes and face now had an amused, slightly smug look.
"Huh?" Jane said in confusion then looked down at their joined hands. Jane's brain automatically catalogued his observations; Jane noticed Cho's pulse was elevated again and his breath was slightly ragged. His eyes were tired and dull, lacking his normal steeliness and resolve. Being upset like this couldn't be good for him. Maybe Cho was in shock and needed to be admitted too?
Jane squeezed the fingers a bit experimentally and felt a gentle squeeze back. He looked back up at Cho, at the unnamed but present emotion lurking furtively in the dark depths of his eyes. Jane felt some warmth blooming inside the dark thing that had lived in his chest since Red John...
"Oh!" Jane tried to sit upright, wincing at the unexpected pain from the movement as a memory from the dream hit him hard, clear as day. He let Cho settle him back down on the bed more comfortably. "There's something I have to tell you."
"What's that?" Cho asked with a rare indulgent smile, stroking his thumb up and down the back of Jane's hand, leaving trails of warmth.
Oh that felt nice, the way Cho was stroking his hand, the way his hand held Jane's, the warmth in his eyes and face and hand. Jane felt a slowly blooming rush of emotions and affection as he felt Cho touching him, as he looked into those eyes that had haunted his dreams. He lost himelf in those feelings a moment until Cho gripped his hand a bit tighter and raised an eyebrow.
"Something you wanted to tell me, Jane?" Cho's eyes were steady with some emotion in them. Affection? Hope?
"Well," Jane started and then grinned and looked away and then back at Cho. "It's going to sound silly."
Cho quirked an eyebrow, looking amused and intrigued. "As silly as the reason I got called back up here after a half hour of sleep?"
Jane blinked. "You. What?"
Cho smiled this time, one of his rare, real smiles reserved mostly for Jane. "You were in distress, fighting sleep and the meds, calling my name. The docs finally called me and asked me to 'please come and calm the annoying man down so that he can heal.' So, I dragged myself out of bed and came up here, where you promptly latched onto my hand like it was a favorite teddy bear and finally slept. Not that I got much rest." He was openly amused now.
"Erm. Sorry?" Jane tried for a casual tone but failed, rocked by how openly he'd shown his need for Cho, some part of his brain observing how unfreaked Cho was at the display. Interesting. Maybe Cho really was in shock after all.
"Eh, we'll talk payback later," Cho's eyes alight with dark amusement, promising some wicked sort of punishment.
Jane was caught, trapped. He couldn't look away, soaking up the look in Cho's eyes, the feel of his hand holding his, feeling warm happiness spreading through his chest, through that dark ugly thing. He suddenly blurted out, "My wife and child told me to stop being an idiot."
Cho straightened up a bit, his breath quickened and he pulled back slightly, raising an eyebrow. "Go on."
Jane tightened his grip on Cho's, tugging at his hand until he leaned towards Jane again. "In that dream. It had to be a dream. I don't believe in an afterlife." He paused and his voice turned wistful, "It was nice, though."
"Jane," Cho said in a low growl, his eyes intense, almost angry.
Jane shook his head. "Right, sorry. This is for your ears only; definitely do not tell Grace or I'll never hear the end of it!"
Cho nodded slightly in agreement, his lips quirking into a small smile at the shared joke, taking a slow deep breath.
"They told me that I was being an idiot and missing something right in front of me," Jane slowly raised his free hand and lightly stroked Cho's face, a bare whisper of a touch. "They told me that I was loved. That I did love, despite myself. That I needed and was needed. That I had someone to make it worth hanging around, even after Red John..." His voice trailed off, his chest tight with the anger that Red John always invoked.
Cho was barely breathing, eyes wide, staring hard at Jane's mouth. "Who?" he whispered faintly.
Jane smiled faintly, "Agent Cho, for an investigator, you make a lousy detective." He shrugged and surrendered as Cho's expression darkened. "It's you," he whispered.
Cho closed his eyes, different expressions flitting across his face. Hope, fear, longing, love. He leaned forward, pressing his cheek against Jane's. "It's about time you saw it. Idiot."
"Hey--" Cho pressed his lips lightly to Jane's, stopping his mock protests. The kiss slowly deepened, Cho stroking Jane's face lightly, reverently, like a rare and precious jewel.
The dark thing inside Jane's chest was all but overwhelmed by the rush of warmth and love filling him up inside, all the way to the top.
He broke the kiss, shifted around in the bed and tugged on Cho's hand. "C'mere." Cho joined him, lying along him, gently, carefully wrapping his arms around Jane.
They had a lot to sort out. What did this mean for their friendship? Could they possibly make this work? Would Cho kick him out when he left his socks all over the floor or ate all the ice cream? Most importantly, when it came down to it, would Cho step back and let him kill Red John?
Jane pushed his doubts and fears away and stayed in this precious moment with Cho and pondered how despite everything that Red John had done, despite all that he had lost, Jane was home.
The End
Despite the name of the fic, it is NOT fatal! Happy ending, guaranteed.
Title: Jane's Death
Author: Kaytee
Fandom: The Mentalist
Pairing: Jane/Cho
Email: kaytee4ever@gmail.com
Fic LJ: http://slashsanctuary.livejournal.com
Please do not post this to any lists without permission.
Disclaimer: Not mine; just having a bit of harmless fun. Will return them mostly unharmed. :-)
Summary: Jane's death sets many things into motion for Jane and Cho. But it's not fatal.
Jane's Death series
Part 1: Jane's Death
Notes: I could not find any mention of his wife's and daughter's names, so I made those up (Sarah and Claire, respectively). Also, there is no canon evidence for a young Jane messing around with a bee's nest but it's something you could easily see him doing.
Thanks to my gf and to SB for reading and rereading and giving me such valuable feedback in making this better! Also thanks to the ever-lovely talented Tenth Muse for giving it a look. Also, thanks to X for writing introducing me to the Jane/Cho pairing. :)
Jane's comment for the A/N: "Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. There is death here, sure, but it's not fatal."
Patrick Jane never saw it coming but he suddenly felt the white hot pain of a bullet entering his chest. It was a thousand times worse than when he'd "accidentally on purpose" knocked the bee's nest out of Mrs. Bain's tree at age 10. He'd run away, but they'd followed, stinging him over and over.
The world tilted and swam around him as he fell, strong arms catching him before he hit the ground. The air was filled with angry shouts and orders. He tried to make sense of it but gave up, focusing on the warm, solid body holding him upright. Cho, he identified by the faint, distinctive cologne. Cho, always so solid and real, unlike the monsters in Jane's head haunting his dreams, chasing away sleep. Cho and the rest of the team kept the monsters away, at least during the daytime. Jane closed his eyes and pretended he was back on his favorite couch in the office, letting the noise and confusion swarm around him, safe in the cocoon of the strong arms around him.
Jane shook his head, trying to shake the confusion and realized that he was on a gurney in an ambulance with an oxygen mask on and people shouting around him. Cho was there, gripping his hand tightly, his breathing fast and uneven, with a look Jane had never seen on his face. 'That's strange,' Jane thought to himself, 'Cho's never afraid, ever.'
Jane looked into Cho's terrified eyes and tried to summon up a smile and squeeze his hand back. Their eyes locked for an endless moment, a feeling of wordless communication passing between them. Something shifted in Cho's eyes, some new emotion. Jane tried to sort it out when he heard a shout, "He's crashing!" and everything blurred and went very still.
* * * * *
Jane looked around, blinking, at the garden he suddenly found himself in. He was sitting on a blanket, leaning against a tree. He looked up at the sky, warm and blue with just a few small white clouds dotting it. He heard a young girl's laughter and turned to see the who it was. He gasped as the sight of his wife and daughter filled his eyes; they looked just as when he'd last seen them, happy and alive.
"Sarah," he whispered brokenly, staring into his wife's beautiful eyes.
"Daddy!" His daughter Claire ran over to him, launching herself into his arms and clinging. "We've been waiting and waiting for you! You were late," she finished in a grumpy annoyed tone.
"Uh, I'm sorry?" Jane gave one of his abashed smiles, unable to resist how adorable she was. He hugged her tight and kissed her hair. "I missed you, sweetheart."
Claire pulled back, smiled and patted his face. "I forgive you, daddy." Then she thought a moment. "Wait, I forgot! I am mad at you!"
Jane raised an eyebrow then turned his head as his wife came over and sat down next to him. He loosened his hold on his daughter and wrapped an arm around Sarah, pulling her closer. He looked into her eyes, so close. Warm. Alive. Real. He kissed her smile, breathing in her familiar scent.
"Daddy. Daddy!" his daughter tugged on his arm.
Jane pulled back from the kiss with a sigh and stroked his wife's face. He looked at Claire with an indulgent smile, "What is it, sweetheart?"
She frowned and said crossly, "You are being mean to the nice man. Your friend. The one who's sad."
Jane was confused. "What sad man, honey?"
"Your friend with the dark hair who doesn't smile much except at you," she said sadly.
"Who? Oh," he said, realization dawning, "you mean Cho."
She nodded sadly.
"He's not sad. He just doesn't talk much or show it when he's happy." Jane said unconvincingly even to his own ears.
She shook her head and looked at her mom helplessly. "Tell him, mommy."
Sarah touched his face lightly; he turned to her. "You're the most perceptive person I know. You already know what I will say."
Jane's eyes widened and he shook his head. "Tell me," he whispered.
"You're breaking his heart, little by little. It's time to let him in. He'll help you find Red John and avenge us but most of all, he'll bring you back into life. Time to let us go and let him in."
Her words shook Jane to his core. It couldn't be true, could it? He turned it over and over in his mind, lost in puzzling it out.
She touched his face and smiled at him gently. "We'll be here waiting. But now, it's time to go."
* * * * *
Jane opened his eyes and gasped, "Cho!"
Startled, Cho sat up and looked at Jane with defeated red eyes. He was holding Jane's hand, his fingers gripping and releasing compulsively, his breathing quickened, showing an uncommon level of distress. Jane had repeatedly seen Cho face down serial killers without breaking a sweat; his rock solid interrogator gaze making even hardened criminals crumple like tissue paper. He never thought he'd see the normally unflappable Cho so shaken, especially at a little gunshot wound.
Jane frowned in confusion and reached toward's Cho's face with his free hand. "Cho?" he said in confusion and concern at his friend's unusual reaction.
Cho's mouth fell open and he just stared at him wordlessly in astonishment, gripping Jane's hand harder then he found his voice. He called out, his eyes, almost frantic, never leaving Jane's, "Here! In here! He's back!"
Doctors and nurses bustled in quickly, looking shocked. They looked at each other quickly then began working on him, checking his vitals, putting in an IV and turning various machines on. They fired instructions back and forth at each other, flashing a light in Jane's eyes and generally being annoying. Jane just wanted to go back to sleep.
They fired questions at him on the year, where he was, what had happened. He answered their questions curtly, his usual charm gone at the moment. He just wanted them gone.
The one steadfast thing in all the confusion was Cho.
The doctors pushed Cho to the side until Jane's sudden blood pressure spike alarmed them. Jane pushed them away, refusing to cooperate until Cho came back. They reluctantly allowed Cho back to his bedside and watched surprised as his blood pressure slowly came back to normal on its own.
After that, Cho refused to budge, still gripping Jane's hand like a lifeline and staring at him in amazement and shock, his breathing still quickened and his mouth opening and closing slightly but no words being said. His presence grounded Jane, kept him from telling all of them to go to hell.
Finally they stepped back, satisfied for the moment that Jane was okay. One of the nurses went to get him some pain meds while the others went back to their rounds, leaving the room suddenly, strangely quiet.
Cho was whispering something over and over. Jane frowned and tried to lean up, pulling on the hand gripping his to urge Cho closer. "What is it?"
Cho took a deep breath, shocked and strangely speechless, startling Jane into silence. Jane felt a faint quiver in the hand gripping his. "You were gone. Dead."
Jane shook his head said in annoyance, "No, I wasn't! I was here, sleeping. Had the strangest dream."
Cho's eyes widened and he looked strangely angry, his voice rising, breathing hard. "No! You were dead. I was here and you flatlined. They worked on you for 7 minutes then gave up. They called it. You were Dead!"
Jane shook his head in bewilderment at Cho's words and reactions as well as at his anger. It was all too strange to think about. A vague memory from his dream tried to come to the surface. He started to say something then he got interrupted by more people rushing into the room. Jane felt empty suddenly as Cho let his hand go to instead grip the bedrail tightly. Conflicting emotions flit by on his face, too fast for even Jane to identify.
"Jane!" Lisbon said in shock as she entered. Grace and Rigsby followed, also looking unbelievingly at Jane. Their eyes were red, too.
Jane started to feel angry at the confusion and their reactions. "I'm fine! Look I got shot, lost some blood, was unconscious and had a strange dream. But I'm fine!" He made a pathetic attempt at humor, "It was merely a flesh wound."
Grace and Rigsby looked at each other and shook their heads, starting to protest. Lisbon raised a hand, stopping them.
Lisbon's voice took on a strident, no-nonsense tone. "Jane! Listen to me," her voice softening somewhat. "You flatlined. You were dead for 7 minutes. You. Were. Dead."
Jane felt like he'd been punched in the stomach, suddenly winded. "Dead? But. You mean.... dead?" He looked at Cho, whose face had shuttered and closed off completely, as when Cho was interrogating a suspect.
Cho's jaw tightened, wearing his interrogator look, the only sign of unrest was the nerve jumping at the side of his jaw. He withdrew, crossing his arms across his chest and leaned against the back of the chair, pulling his warmth away completely. Jane shivered, suddenly chilled. "As a doornail."
Jane shook his head, unable to take it all in. He suddenly looked very small and a bit fragile.
The nurse chose that moment to come in and inject the pain meds into his IV. She checked his pulse then gently but efficiently urged the team to leave, promising that they could return in a few hours after he got some rest.
Cho stood up last, his eyes burning into Jane's with a strange unreadable expression, backing up slowly, seemingly reluctant to break eye contact. "You were gone...," he whispered faintly, almost to himself. Something shifted in his eyes and he suddenly seemed to slump, defeated. He turned around and left without another look back.
Jane stared after him and felt the medicine pulling him under to sleep. As he lost consciousness, a memory tugged insistently at him, nearly clear and at the surface. He whispered sadly, "Cho."
* * * * *
Jane's dreams were a chaotic, upsetting jumble. He saw flashes of his wife, his daugher, the team. But it was Cho that he kept trying to follow, chasing him elusively, always out of reach. He had to find him. Tell him. He forgot why exactly, but he knew it was important and he couldn't rest.
* * * * *
"About time you woke up, sleeping beauty," an exhausted yet slightly amused voice greeted him as he began to regain consciousness. He knew that voice. It had chased him in his dream, teasing and eluding him.
Jane's eyelids felt heavy but he struggled and finally was able to open his eyes at look at the owner of that much-loved voice. "Cho. You're here." Jane said softly, smiling at him, his expression open and unguarded.
Cho's eyes widened slightly at whatever he saw in Jane's eyes, then went back to his normal, dryly sarcastic look. "Of course, I'm here. You wouldn't rest until I came back." His eyes and face now had an amused, slightly smug look.
"Huh?" Jane said in confusion then looked down at their joined hands. Jane's brain automatically catalogued his observations; Jane noticed Cho's pulse was elevated again and his breath was slightly ragged. His eyes were tired and dull, lacking his normal steeliness and resolve. Being upset like this couldn't be good for him. Maybe Cho was in shock and needed to be admitted too?
Jane squeezed the fingers a bit experimentally and felt a gentle squeeze back. He looked back up at Cho, at the unnamed but present emotion lurking furtively in the dark depths of his eyes. Jane felt some warmth blooming inside the dark thing that had lived in his chest since Red John...
"Oh!" Jane tried to sit upright, wincing at the unexpected pain from the movement as a memory from the dream hit him hard, clear as day. He let Cho settle him back down on the bed more comfortably. "There's something I have to tell you."
"What's that?" Cho asked with a rare indulgent smile, stroking his thumb up and down the back of Jane's hand, leaving trails of warmth.
Oh that felt nice, the way Cho was stroking his hand, the way his hand held Jane's, the warmth in his eyes and face and hand. Jane felt a slowly blooming rush of emotions and affection as he felt Cho touching him, as he looked into those eyes that had haunted his dreams. He lost himelf in those feelings a moment until Cho gripped his hand a bit tighter and raised an eyebrow.
"Something you wanted to tell me, Jane?" Cho's eyes were steady with some emotion in them. Affection? Hope?
"Well," Jane started and then grinned and looked away and then back at Cho. "It's going to sound silly."
Cho quirked an eyebrow, looking amused and intrigued. "As silly as the reason I got called back up here after a half hour of sleep?"
Jane blinked. "You. What?"
Cho smiled this time, one of his rare, real smiles reserved mostly for Jane. "You were in distress, fighting sleep and the meds, calling my name. The docs finally called me and asked me to 'please come and calm the annoying man down so that he can heal.' So, I dragged myself out of bed and came up here, where you promptly latched onto my hand like it was a favorite teddy bear and finally slept. Not that I got much rest." He was openly amused now.
"Erm. Sorry?" Jane tried for a casual tone but failed, rocked by how openly he'd shown his need for Cho, some part of his brain observing how unfreaked Cho was at the display. Interesting. Maybe Cho really was in shock after all.
"Eh, we'll talk payback later," Cho's eyes alight with dark amusement, promising some wicked sort of punishment.
Jane was caught, trapped. He couldn't look away, soaking up the look in Cho's eyes, the feel of his hand holding his, feeling warm happiness spreading through his chest, through that dark ugly thing. He suddenly blurted out, "My wife and child told me to stop being an idiot."
Cho straightened up a bit, his breath quickened and he pulled back slightly, raising an eyebrow. "Go on."
Jane tightened his grip on Cho's, tugging at his hand until he leaned towards Jane again. "In that dream. It had to be a dream. I don't believe in an afterlife." He paused and his voice turned wistful, "It was nice, though."
"Jane," Cho said in a low growl, his eyes intense, almost angry.
Jane shook his head. "Right, sorry. This is for your ears only; definitely do not tell Grace or I'll never hear the end of it!"
Cho nodded slightly in agreement, his lips quirking into a small smile at the shared joke, taking a slow deep breath.
"They told me that I was being an idiot and missing something right in front of me," Jane slowly raised his free hand and lightly stroked Cho's face, a bare whisper of a touch. "They told me that I was loved. That I did love, despite myself. That I needed and was needed. That I had someone to make it worth hanging around, even after Red John..." His voice trailed off, his chest tight with the anger that Red John always invoked.
Cho was barely breathing, eyes wide, staring hard at Jane's mouth. "Who?" he whispered faintly.
Jane smiled faintly, "Agent Cho, for an investigator, you make a lousy detective." He shrugged and surrendered as Cho's expression darkened. "It's you," he whispered.
Cho closed his eyes, different expressions flitting across his face. Hope, fear, longing, love. He leaned forward, pressing his cheek against Jane's. "It's about time you saw it. Idiot."
"Hey--" Cho pressed his lips lightly to Jane's, stopping his mock protests. The kiss slowly deepened, Cho stroking Jane's face lightly, reverently, like a rare and precious jewel.
The dark thing inside Jane's chest was all but overwhelmed by the rush of warmth and love filling him up inside, all the way to the top.
He broke the kiss, shifted around in the bed and tugged on Cho's hand. "C'mere." Cho joined him, lying along him, gently, carefully wrapping his arms around Jane.
They had a lot to sort out. What did this mean for their friendship? Could they possibly make this work? Would Cho kick him out when he left his socks all over the floor or ate all the ice cream? Most importantly, when it came down to it, would Cho step back and let him kill Red John?
Jane pushed his doubts and fears away and stayed in this precious moment with Cho and pondered how despite everything that Red John had done, despite all that he had lost, Jane was home.
The End