December 19th. Already. Winter depression?

[kazara]

I have some questions I want people to be honest about. When I say 'honest', I don't just mean telling the truth. I also mean not skipping over this entry without commenting regardless of what you think. I also don't mean not telling me the whole truth. If you don't feel like telling me everything or why, just say a one word answer. You could even

Comments

[lauscho]

Are you a jerk? No. If anything, you're becoming less of one :P. Maybe it's just because I've been around you on Wonderland so long that I've gotten kind of used to your sense of humour. Maybe it's because after we actually talked, I realized you were actually a really good person. Or maybe it's because of all of those and the fact that you're growing up.

And hey, I kinda feel the same way, always looking for a little bit of attention from my close friends, freaking out about being ignored, although I find it strange that I can be so socially retarded that I am too afraid to even say hello to most people :S. But really, all I want people to see is that I can be a great friend, a good person with a lot of love to give... even if I do have my personal demons and irritating habits. I mean, it's not like I set out to annoy people or anything. XP

[kazara]

Thank you man. I think I really have mellowed out quite a bit over time. Sure, I've seen things bother me, but I find myself bothered less, and I feel I'm at peace a lot. Sure I get depressed seldomly, but who doesnt? But when you say that, it means a lot to me and somewhat shows how forgiving you are. :P

I'm not suprised people feel the same way. I although I don't share your fear of initiating a conversation, I can totally say I sympathize with you on how annoying being ignored or rejected is. :(

No one wants to be annoying. Ok that's a lie. For some people, it's their job. XP

[motorola_otaku]

Honestly? There was a time when I felt like I was tiptoeing on glass around you, because it seemed like everything I said pissed you off. Part of that was my fault, for being an overbearing asshole and for saying things that could easily be misconstrued (luls I fail at following my own advice), but part of it was on your end too and for the longest time I couldn't figure it out. I still can't figure it out. You're a complex person. But I will take this opportunity to say that if it's water under the bridge to you, it's water under the bridge to me. I can't hold a grudge, nor do I want to with you. And I sleep well at night when I know there's harmony between my little circle of friends. :) I also like to think that I share something in common with everyone I've met through Wonderland and, well, I'm here to tell you that I share your fear of rejection. So when conflict arises, I also try to seek the quickest and simplest path to resolution. It's a slippery, sometimes self-depreciating path that sometimes means eating crow when it isn't

[kazara]

Hum. This is rather hard to put the words too. I'd say since the Fall of last year and a chunk of this year, I've probably built-up a like-dislike auroa around even my closest friends, and not just people who annoyed me. Various things pissed me off, regardless of who said or did them. I'll give the example of your constant modding of me. I understand that it was your job, but it pissed me off because it seemed you were putting your "pointless fourm duty" before me your friend. Various other things such as your hate of things like 4Chan and other little things got on my nerves. I've also been known to be jealous of people like you or whoever who got more comments on their pictures than me. Stuff that shouldn't matter, mattered. I've gotten miffed at people and said and done things I've regret, including to people like Zane, Barry, and hah, Benny. There's absolutely no ill will between us, because I think I'm growing as a person and I find it's time to clean my dirty laundry, so to speak. I disagree when it comes to finding the

[cmetom]

you don't like macs!! i go cry now.

seriously? it ain't no thing. as for jerkiness, i don't see it. but i don't see lots of things lately, since i'm perpetually grumpy myself due to life's current short straw that anna and i have been issued with.

if you see me on msn, ignore the 'busy' or 'away' if it's there and say hello!

[kazara]

Yeah, go cry Macfag.

Thanks man. I really hope whatever situation going on with you guys gets smoothed out soon, because you're good people. Whenever we do talk it's always really good stuff. Even though we seldom talk, we seem to have such a feel for each other that we could not talk for a year and catch up in minutes. :D

[harryjpotter7]

Even though we don't get to talk as much as we used to due to life doing whatever to us, man, seriously, I always hold you in high regard. You've always been fun to talk to. I don't think you've lost your edge at all. From "Hogasms" to the legend that is "Do.", bro, you're on it. Keep doin' what you do. ^_^

[kazara]

Totally. The one time I saw you on AIM the other day and I'm like "HOLY WOW YOU'RE ON". You should totally get on more! I haven't lost my Edge, but have THE MAJOR BROTHERS???????? XD

Hogasm and Do will live on in infamy. The good kind of infamy. Do. XD

[harryjpotter7]

Amen, brother. ^_^

[emotoast]

I never thought you were a jerk,
and if you are then that makes me a jerk too
and then it's okay.
and even if i'm not we're clearly in love anyways.
obviously a jerky love at first chat like ours stood the test of time.
<3

But reaaally?
We all have bad days or bad weeks,
I've seen you get into a few funks over the years...

If it seemed like I was ignoring you, I'm sorry :(
I just never know what to say,
I'm not exactly the most comforting person. ._.;;

But you know i'm always up for a nice chat about anything.
whether it be feelings or life or what temperature it is outside.

Srsly?
I can't wait to goto an otakon and clob... uh.. meet you. ;P

[kazara]

Yeah, I rarely get depressed. I think 2007 has seen me get depressed more than any other year. It's weird like that, eh?

I don't think you've been ignoring me! But we do need to talk more, seriously. XD Talking with you always makes me happy because you've got an addictive personality, and you've got some of the best reactions to anything ever. XD

You also take things in total stride, and I totally respect that. GO TO OTAKON THIS YEAR. >=(

Love you. <3