Caffeine (1/?)

Sep 23, 2013 22:49

VIXX; Pairing: Hakyeon/Taekwoon (slight though)
Genre: mild angst, AU, fluff to come later
Rating: g
Warning: N-centric
Word count: 4491
Summary: Hakyeon tries to find somewhere he would belong to; His love for Caffeine leads him to it.
Beta-ed by the lovely Alicia



I don’t belong here.

He collected his phone and his personal objects left over the table throughout the week and put them in his backpack before leaving the office. “Salut!” he heard. He turned his head, a smile plastered on his face while waving goodbye in return to his colleague.

When he left the building, he felt a bit warmer. The bright and hot summer sun was lighting up the whole avenue. For others, the sun was blinding and pressuring, but for him, it was a comforting and warm friend. After a whole day in the cold light of the led lamps and the freezing air of the air conditioner, the sun helped warmth invade his whole body, letting him regain his senses after a long and exhausting work day.

The sun was starting to go down, and the color that it spread all over the city looked astonishing. The air got chillier as he walked in the streets, taking the path he took every evening after work to get back to his student room.

Back in his room, he felt it again, this feeling in his chest. It was the lonely and painful feeling of being by himself, in a foreign country.

He doesn’t belong here.

Hakyeon had decided a few months ago to go on a "new adventure" on his own, going back to France where he had been in exchange for 6 months before, but this time, it was to work. Somehow, the feeling of Paris was not the same and even if he felt full of strength and motivation before leaving Korea, the more he was staying here, the more he felt like he was losing it.

It was not as fun and full of discoveries like the first time. The people he had hung out with during his exchange had all gone back to their countries, and the few French friends he had here were too busy with their own adult life to be able to see him as often as he wished.

Hakyeon was the last of his family, and he had always been surrounded with love and covered with affection in any situation and somehow, he regretted that he had been so spoiled because here, the lack of affection he was feeling was even worse.

He knew he should look on the bright side; consider himself happy being in another country while a lot of his friends in Korea had been stuck in their own city or in the same Seoul neighborhood for years. He knew it was the chance of a lifetime, yet he could not help but somehow feel lonely and miserable.

Because he did not belong here.

Of course, he had been struck with joy while rediscovering some of the greatest Paris views again, and he still loved the city. But the feeling was different, the context was different. Every day at work, he was struggling with his language level in French and even if he was not bad, he still had difficulties to fit in the team when he had the chance to participate. His colleagues were really nice to him and tried to treat him with care, but still, they would hang out with their own friends when work ended, or go back to their families. It was perfectly normal. But Hakyeon had no one to return to.

Hakyeon was not the kind of person to get so easily down, because he always wanted to show this smiling and warm part of him. He always seemed happy, and even if he was not always so, at least he pretended he was. Because having one’s own worries is not reason enough to make others feel burdened too.

But these days, it was more and more difficult for him to keep a straight smile, and to seem as happy as he used to be. The feeling, growing bigger and bigger day by day, made him start missing home like crazy. Because he felt like he was an outcast here in some way. Because he was not as free as he wished he would be. Because the language was a huge barrier for him to befriend people, and simply because he felt like he is always being considered a foreigner anyway; so he didn’t even have this thrill of joy when talking with new people for the first time.

Of course, his friends were here for him in a way, through Kakao Talk, but it was not the same. The jokes of Jaehwan seemed less lively when written in a chat application. Hongbin’s warmth felt like -and it actually was - miles away. He missed the malicious comments of Sanghyuk, and even missed the loud snoring of his roommate, Wonsik. He missed the place where he felt like he belonged.

Where he felt at home.

“Let’s do well” had always been his motto and that was why he had never left something unfinished, never left something undone. He liked to do everything well, the best he could to at least reach the minimum he demanded of himself. And so he was also taking French classes after work because he wanted to improve his language skills, to do even better and try to satisfy his boss. But as days passed by, he had started feeling weary and anxious about all the goals he had fixed and about his new lifestyle. It felt like, no matter how hard he tried, something was missing. And this bitter feeling progressively transformed into the impression that he was the one that was lacking.

Arriving home, he did not even sit. He emptied his bag and put his French book along with his homework on it before going out again. Sometimes, he would just stay at home to end his homework in a rush, but today, he had no wish of doing so. He closed his little room’s door behind him and decided to stroll in the streets.

The streets of Paris were pretty filled up with people coming out to have dinner with friends or relatives or even lovers. It was Friday night after all, so it was normal for everyone to gather and enjoy the night together. Everyone was doing so. But the only exciting program Hakyeon could look forward to that night was two hours of French class with an old teacher and 30 minutes of subway to go back home.

Hakyeon had so much time ahead of him - around one hour - that he decided to go walk around an area he was less familiar with. He was sick of going through the same streets, of having the same routine every single day. Even if it didn’t cure his loneliness, it would at least change him from the usual.

He did not know how but he somehow got to one of the prettiest areas of Paris center, named Saint Michel. He used to go there often when he was studying in the city, but had rarely come back since that time. Going in such a lively and youthful place on his own somehow made him feel awkward.

But there he was again, at a time when groups of friends stroll while shopping in the streets, waiting for others to arrive and party all night. The pubs were starting to fill up with people and Hakyeon drifted to another part of the area that was less crowded. Only hoping for an escape from the overwhelming crowd, he went into smaller and smaller alleys, until he got stuck in a dead-end street.

Hakyeon sighed, ready to get back to where he was coming from. Actually, he was not. He was not ready to come back to the anticipated stifling happiness of Paris. What he wanted was to go back home. It only had been three months but he could not pretend anymore. He was about to break down and he really needed at least to have a small break. He really needed to get back and gather his strength and courage again. Yet, there was still 9 months remaining, waiting ahead of him.

Tears came up to his eyes; he clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. He could not cry, he should not cry, especially with his class coming up after. He tried to gather all of his remaining strength and let out a long sigh to calm down. Ok now, Hakyeon, turn around and walk back with a smile.

But just when he was about to go back to the core of the area, he heard the twinkling noise of a cup. He looked up. It sounded as if someone was washing dishes and Hakyeon could even hear a faint voice humming along with the song that was broadcasting up there. The sound was so tiny and Hakyeon was so into his own thoughts that he had not realized until then.

He stayed still, his head turned toward the window from which the noise was coming out, and he listened for a few minutes. It was only when he looked down that he discovered the little blackboard next to an opened old wooden door. On the board, there was the word “Caféine” written in a stylish handwriting with a small illustration of a cup of coffee next to it.

Hakyeon analyzed the situation. Looking up at the window; looking down again to the little blackboard. He looked at his watch: only 30 minutes left, and he needed at least 15 minutes to go to the language center. Yet, even if his reasonable side was screaming to go away, he did not. “Just for a minute” he told himself while walking up the stairs that led to the small coffee shop on the first floor.

It was not small. It was ridiculously tiny but the arrangement of the room still made it look rather spacious. No one was inside but as the glass door was opened, Hakyeon could see inside. He almost tip toed to enter the empty coffee shop and looked around him.

The whole coffee shop was bathed in a clear sunlight, which gave it a warm and cozy feeling. On the left of the entrance door, there was a counter behind which a lot of tools to make coffee were placed, in a small kitchen. The smell of a sweet desert was floating in the air, mixing with the bitterness of the coffee beans that came right from a huge bag that looked like it just arrived from Africa. A few tables with small lamps of color were dispersed throughout the whole room. You could sit on chairs or benches with pillows, depending on which table you chose. The whole furniture was in a clear light-color wood, which gave an even cozier feeling. On the right, in the bottom of the room, there was a wide blackboard where people had left some messages or drawings with different colored chalk; probably with the exact ones that were gathered on a metal pot, hung to the blackboard with a cord. Next to it, there was an iron spiral staircase where some books were placed, as if it was a bookshelf.

Hakyeon stayed still a few seconds, detailing the whole place, and he felt an irresistible attraction to one of the tables next to the big wide windows. It had a view over the little inner courtyard of the old building - filled with flashy green plants -, and there was even a small balcony with a few iron chairs to stay and smoke calmly. Silently, the boy walked towards the table he had spotted, and he sat on the bench to be able to observe the courtyard.

There was no other noise than the faint sound of the radio playing calm acoustic songs, and Hakyeon pondered about how soothing this place was.

He stayed silent for a few minutes, staring blankly at the room before he suddenly recalled the humming voice he heard a few minutes before. Where did that person go? The only sign that there was someone here earlier was the wet dishes next to the sink. Hakyeon wondered if he really had the right to enter in the shop like this. And why would someone leave his coffee shop opened like this? He had learned that in France, robberies happened often… The scream of a baby somewhere in the building surprised him and made him come back to his senses. Looking at his watch, he realized he was already really late for his class, but something inside him just kept him from moving away from there.

For once, he was feeling good and did not want to escape from this place. He left his backpack on his side and closed his eyes to breathe calmly. Somewhere in the building, a door opened and closed violently probably because of the wind. The noise made Hakyeon’s eyes fly open.

In front of him, next to the entrance door, there was someone. Dark hair, dark eyes, Asian features, a man was glaring at him. Tall and rather thin, his black trousers and white t-shirt were showing his muscular body and broad shoulders. Hakyeon stayed there, a bit puzzled by the apparition of the young man - who seemed to have the same age than him. He had tried to imagine the owner of the coffee shop while having his eyes closed, but he would have never thought it could be an Asian young man who looked more like an athlete than a coffee shop owner. The other smiled almost imperceptibly - Hakyeon saw it - and walked toward the counter to resume his activities without a word. A bit startled, the Korean boy stood up to head towards the counter too. He waited a few seconds for the barista to look up at him.

“Can… Can I have a cup of coffee please?” he stuttered in weak French. The other looked at him and nodded without saying anything and looked down again to start and prepare the cup. At least, that was what Hayeon was thinking he was doing until the barista took a small beige menu out of the counter to put it in front of his customer.

“Which one would you like?” he asked in a tiny husky voice that surprise Hakyeon even more. When he took a closer look to the infinite panel of possible coffees though, he chuckled silently, unable to choose.

“Could you recommend one for me?” Hakyeon asked simply, feeling shy when his eyes met the other’s gaze again. He was even more impressive up close, as his whole face and especially his eyes were inscrutable.

The barista stopped looking at Hakyeon’s face to look down on the menu and he put his finger next to a coffee’s name. The Korean student followed the movement of the other’s finger and smiled while looking at the recommendation. “Then, a café Bombon, please.”

The dark haired guy nodded again and turned to the big shelf behind him to grab one of the glass pots filled up with coffee beans. Now that he was not paying attention to Hakyeon anymore, the latter could ponder over how surprising the voice of the other guy was. He looked like a tough and unpleasant guy, but his voice was so tiny and feeble that it looked like someone inside of him was talking instead.

While thinking about the voice, he went back to the table he had claimed as his, and looked through the window. The sun was starting to go down, and the light was slowly transforming in a fabulous orange haze. Everything here was peaceful and helped him feel a bit better, less lonely. Even if the other guy did not talk at all, and even if he didn’t even know his name to begin with, Hakyeon was happy to have company. It was a silent presence, but it was already much more comforting than no presence at all.

The smell of the coffee was floating in the whole room, and Hakyeon felt even more at ease. He had loved coffee for a long time, but had never thought his love for coffee could be this soothing. When the other brought the cup he had ordered, Hakyeon thanked him in a whisper because he was astonished by the coffee itself. He had never seen such a beverage before, and it amazed him in a way. He looked back to the coffee maker, but the latter had already gone back to his counter, especially since a few people had just entered the shop, talking quite loudly and saluting him like he had known them for a long time. “Long time no see, Leo!” one of them said happily. Bringing his friends to sit at the counter, the visitor started talking with Leo, who seemed to answer in really brief sentences, but still gave a few smiles.

Hakyeon looked back at his coffee, which was still there in all its surprising form, and he stayed staring at it a few minutes before deciding to taste it before it turned cold. The taste was as surprising as the appearance of the beverage, and he could not find out what exactly was added to the coffee to make it taste like this. Curious, he promised himself to ask Leo later in the evening. He finished his coffee slowly, enjoying every sip of it, and wondered about the closing time of the shop as he closed his eyes to enjoy the warm sun rays illuminating his face and body.

--

“Are you going to let him sleep all night, Michel???”

Hakyeon’s eyes were still closed but he could clearly hear the voice of the woman who was talking in the same room. By the tone of her voice, she sounded rather displeased.

“I don’t know darling, I mean look at him… he managed to fall asleep while Jean was screaming to anyone that was willing to hear how he spent his holidays… He did not wake up at all, right?” a masculine, really deep voice asked loudly.

There was a pause, but someone must have answered since he heard a loud sigh coming from the woman again. “And what did that boy order before falling asleep?” she inquired, really disapproving the behavior of the said boy. A third voice that was unusually high and soft answered “A cup of coffee.”

This voice sounded familiar to Hakyeon.

That was when it occurred to him that the person they were talking about was no other than himself, and that he had fallen asleep in the coffee shop earlier. As the conversation went on, conversation of which Hakyeon just grabbed a few sentences such as “it is not healthy to sleep that soundly” or “Even when I made a lot of noise on purpose while cleaning the room, he did not wake up!!” - he felt shame spreading in his whole body as he slowly recalled everything that happened before the black hole; before he fell asleep.

He felt so stupid that, at first, he did not move an inch. His eyes tightly closed, he wondered a few seconds how long he had slept like this. It was probably really late, especially if it was after the closing of the shop, and as he assimilated all this information, he felt more and more ashamed by the second.

His brain was working like crazy, trying to find a way to escape without them being there. Luckily enough, the voices seemed to vanish away as the three people were going somewhere else. Wait, did they lock him inside?

He suddenly opened his eyes to realize there was a blanket over him, a blanket that was clearly not his. He eyed around him and seeing that the glass door was still wide open, Hakyeon let out a sigh of relief. Almost silently, he stood up and folded the blanket before putting it on the table. He searched for the amount of the coffee bill to silently leave the coins next to the blanket. Everything was perfect, everything was going smoothly: he would disappear quietly, never come back again and be forgotten as quickly as he had appeared.

Things could actually have turned this way if, as he was ready to pass the threshold of the shop, a voice had not shouted loudly at him “Oh! But you’re awake!!”

Hakyeon froze. He had been so focused on leaving the shop quietly that he had not noticed that someone had come out from the flat in front of him. Surprised and overall scared by the voice, he let out a little cry before looking at who had frightened him.

The man was looking at him while laughing. “Leo, please open the light or this boy might die from a panic attack.”

The whole staircase and the flat in front of the coffee shop suddenly lit up and Hakyeon blinked a few times before he got to see clearly the two shapes facing him. The man who had scared him looked like he was around 50 years old. His face had kind features half hidden by a growing beard and he looked exactly like what Hakyeon had imagined the coffee owner would. Leo was standing behind him but not looking at them as he was putting a black leather jacket on.

“I’m sorry to have scared you, boy...” the man said, looking amused. “What is your name?”

“Ha… Hakyeon” the boy answered, afraid of being scolded for sleeping there.

The man frowned and looked at Leo over his shoulder for a second. Leo’s gaze had slightly changed and he was staring at Hakyeon silently. The latter felt even more ashamed.

“I’m very… sorry to have slept here for so long, really, I am truly sorry…”

“It’s okay, boy.” He had not used Hakyeon’s name probably because he had forgotten it already. “But it’s really late, so it’s not convenient for you to go back.”

“I’m sorry but what time is it?”

“1AM boy, you slept damn long!!” the man said with a smile.

Hakyeon’s eyes widened as he heard the hour, and he started to panic. Now that he had missed the last train, he could only think of walking back home - it would take him around 2 hours probably - or taking a cab - that would cost him an arm.

“Where do you live, boy?” the man inquired.

“In the 20th” he said, still trying to think what the best solution was; it was like choosing between drowning or being burned alive.

“And how did you come here?”

“By subway…”

“Then Leo will take you back. It’s ok Leo, right?”

Leo answered a small “oui” and after that the man reminded him that he had to be there at 9am on the next morning, they left.

Leo’s pace was not too fast, so they could enjoy the way back on the streets. At this hour, the streets were filled up with drunken people or youngsters going to the club. As the temperature was much lower than during the day, the air was chilly. It felt really nice on Hakyeon’s skin, waking him up completely.

A complete silence lingered for a few minutes as the other did not say a single word to him. They were just walking towards somewhere, Hakyeon following Leo quite blindly. He felt really sorry about obliging the other to take him back when he had to wake up early and work on the following day.

“I’m so sorry about everything for tonight. I didn’t mean to fall asleep…”

The barista didn’t look at him, and kept on walking, as if he had not heard him. Yet, Hakyeon did not stop there.

“I just somehow fell asleep because it felt really good. I am very sorry, I can go back alone if you want” he stuttered, not sure if he had formulated his French sentences correctly, but he was trying his best to be understood.

He almost bumped into Leo who stopped walking suddenly, and he thought that Leo would agree with him and ask him to walk back alone. He did not. Instead, he got closer to a motorbike that was parked there and opened the seat to take out two helmets. He gave one to Hakyeon and rode the motorbike to start back-pedaling. Hakyeon moved to the side to avoid the engine and when he felt the gaze of the barista on him again he rushed to put the helmet on and get on too, behind the driver. Leo was zipping his leather jacket to protect himself against the wind, and Hakyeon really regretted not having taken something warmer to wear. After having asked for his exact address which Hakyeon gave approximately - he had often written it down for taxi drivers for them to understand the address - Leo warned him to stay put and to grab onto something. And with this, they drove away.

At first, Hakyeon was wondering what he could grab to stay steady on the motorbike and he tried to grab the rear of the seat but felt really unsure about it. Leo must have felt it because when they stopped at a red light, he turned his head to the passenger and told him to hold onto him if he was afraid. And he was right, Hakyeon was more than afraid. He had never liked this kind of transportation, and not being able to find a balance was even more worrying for him. Feeling a bit strange about holding onto someone he did not know that much at first, he had no other choice when Leo accelerated again, and he held tightly onto the leather not to feel like he was about to fall every time Leo turned around.

Not saying anything, he just admired how Paris looked, quite calm and quiet at this time of the night. The yellowish lights of the city were giving it another feeling that was strangely bewitching.

Around 15 minutes later, they arrived in the boulevard where Hakyeon lived, and he guided his driver to the entrance door of his residence. When the motorbike stopped, they both got off the bike and Hakyeon handed the helmet back to Leo.

“Thank you very much … I didn’t even ask your name, but I guess it is Leo, right?”

The other did not answer, looking at the helmet in his hands and putting it under the seat.

“Anyway, I’m really sorry for the bother. Could you please tell your boss that I’m really really sorry about what happened tonight? Please drive back safely…”

“You should tell him yourself” Leo said with a smooth voice while getting on the bike again. He started the engine and looked up to meet Hakyeon’s eyes for a few seconds. A few seconds, those were enough for him to answer the previous question.

“My name is Taekwoon.”

He turned the lights of the motorbike on again and left without saying more, leaving a confused Hakyeon behind.

This was supposed to be a One-shot, but as always, I got caught up with words and just ... let it out go somehow.
I won't be able to continue the Kyumin fic, of course as all of you might have thought, but I swear I will finish this one.
Another longer and harder fic to plan is under construction (cross b1a4/infinite) please wait for it.
Oh and I'm sorry it's been so long I've not written or read something else than business english that my literary english got... so rubbish. Hope it will get better with time ~

Hope you will like it and comments are loved ♥

pairing: leo/n, fandom:vixx

Next post
Up