fic: "A Tale of Three Parties" (Kristen Bell/Jason Dohring) PG-13
Title: "A Tale of Three Parties"
Rating: PG-13 for just a little bit of language
Word count: 4054
Warnings: This may be just a little cheesy... read at your own discretion.
Summary: If New Year's was a time for new beginnings then maybe they could get theirs, even if it did take a while for them to get there.
Disclaimer: This is fiction. As far as I know they are happy with their lives just the way they are and Jason is still completely loves his wife, Lauren and takes the sanctity of his marriage seriously. And good for him. (even though I'm completely evil and would love to see him and Kristen together in real life)
A/N: Written for the "Season's Greetings" challenge. Unbetaed because my word program is prehistoric and I waited till the last minute. So needless to say all mistakes are mine. What started out as a struggle to get over 1000 words ended up with more than 4000. Yea! Go me.
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The end of the year wrap up party was never really intended to be a going away party. Of course that particular thought was always in the back of everyone’s mind, especially after the scare at the end of last season. But amongst the cast of Veronica Mars, hope sprang eternal. Too bad it wasn’t enough.
As far as parties go, this one had an overlying sadness, relegating any real partying to another time and place. Still, they were happy to be in each other’s company, for now at least, and in their mind that counted for something.
"Sooo, I think someone’s got a crush," Tina revealed, sidling up to Kristen at the bar.
Kristen turned in her direction, scrunching up her face in response. The confusion on her face was quite evident.
"Who... what?"
Tina turned so that her back was braced against the bar, sliding her elbows on the edge, giving the impression of cool nonchalance.
"Over there... one o’clock... drop dead gorgeous co-star, staring in your direction."
Kristen turned around just a little too quickly and caught non other than Jason Dohring, looking ever so delicious in his untucked white button up and blue jeans, in mid-stare.
"My very, very married co-star. Or did you forget that part, Tina."
"No... I didn’t forget, but maybe he did," she replied, wiggling her eyebrow suggestively.
"Oh my god... you are terrible. You know Jase.... he’s probably just figuring out how to say goodbye. It’s hard on all of us, but you know him... "
"Seriously Kristen... I think it’s more than that. And besides, rumor has it that he and Lauren are having some problems,"
"Well, lots of married couples have problems and they’re just rumors. Besides, I have Kevin."
"Whatever you say, Kris. Just... well, gotta go, man in question headed this way. Good luck!"
"I don’t need..."
"Hey, Kristen."
Whatever response laid on the tip of her tongue for Tina would have to stay there because she was gone and Jason was currently occupying the spot she’d just abandoned.
"Hey, Jason. Where’s Lauren?"
She was mentally bashing her head against a wall. Nothing like bringing his attention to the one person she had wanted to avoid. She liked Lauren, it wasn’t that, it was just that lately she’d been feeling guilty whenever she was around. Sometime over the past eight months her feelings for Jason had transformed from a dull ache in her chest into a heart that literally throbbed whenever he was near. A fact that she was positive was tattooed on her forehead, thus the main reason she avoided her like the plague.
And of course it didn’t help that Marcie the make-up assistant had been telling everyone who would listen about all the problems that Lauren and Jason had been having lately. But she’s never been one to put stock in set gossip, so she always dismissed the rumors. And therein lied the biggest reason she’d felt guilty. She couldn’t help but be just the smallest bit happy that there was trouble in paradise. She’d wondered on more than one occasion what the hell was wrong with her.
Kristen couldn’t help but notice the slightly uncomfortable look that crossed his face when he answered just a little too tersely.
"She went home. Headache apparently."
"Oh."
Ok, Kristen... subject effectively dropped.
"Sorry... it’s just that... well, never mind.... I just wanted to come and tell you goodbye. I have to leave and I’m not sure when we might get the opportunity to see each other again, so..."
"Right, yeah..."
Jason was leaning on the bar reminding Kristen exactly why she always thought he could make leaning an Olympic sport. His left elbow was propped up on the edge, staring curiously at the different positions he could put his feet in while his other hand began roughly rubbing at the back of his neck in a gesture Kristen immediately recognized. He was nervous. Add that to the fact that he’d barely looked at her during their entire conversation and she started to wonder if what Tina had said wasn’t just a little bit true.
"God, this is hard... Kristen I..."
He finally lifted his head and took her bemused expression. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple sliding gracefully down his throat and Kristen couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to place sweet kisses along it. Sure her and Jason had kissed, heavily even, but as Logan and Veronica. Just once she wanted it to be just them. Just Jason and Kristen. But things were never simple and somewhere after the age of three she realized you couldn’t always get what you want.
But the way he was looking at her right now sent shivers down her spine and her bemused expression quickly turned to one of longing. Suddenly she didn’t want to say anything. She wanted to crawl right into him and let him feel all the emotions that coursed through her but that wasn’t possible.
"What is it, Jase..."
"Kristen, I..."
An arm suddenly found itself sliding across her shoulders and Kristen was feeling quite a bit guilty at the thought of killing her boyfriend Kevin right now. Whatever Jason was about to say, she would probably never know, because he sure as hell wasn’t going to say it now.
"Hi Babe... hey man," Kevin said, shaking Jason’s hand.
"How are you Kevin... I haven’t seen you around lately."
If Jason was upset at his presence, he did a good job of hiding it. Maybe he wasn’t going to say anything earth shattering after all. Maybe it was just a lot of wishful thinking on her part.
"Oh, you know how it is... busy, busy, busy..."
"Yes, unfortunately I do. So anyway... Kristen, I just wanted to tell you good luck with everything and you’ve got my number if you want to get coffee or something sometime."
"That’d be great, Jase... thanks. Good luck to you, too. And give my regards to Lauren."
"Of course."
What started out as a possible turn on Kristen’s axis ended in a slightly awkward chaste hug. She would have to remember to thank Kevin later.
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Five months later
Kristen wasn’t exactly sure why she agreed to come to the party. Sure, Ryan was her friend but she tended to steer clear of Halloween parties where costumes weren’t optional. It took too much effort to come up with a suitable one and lately she just didn’t have the energy. That, coupled with the fact that costume parties in this crowd usually turned out to give eHarmony a run for their money... let’s just say it didn’t make the most relaxing scene for a single gal such as herself. And most of the time it was too hard to tell if the guy who was chatting you up really was a horse’s ass or was just dressed like one.
The bar, or what Ryan designated as such anyway, was starting to look more inviting with every moment that passed. She had told herself that she was going to be social, that she would branch out and make some new friends but her petticoat was cumbersome at best, her knickers were riding up her ass and if one more person asked her if she’d found her damn sheep she was going to scream. Only for about the millionth time that night she wondered what had possessed her to dress, full on out too, as Little Bo Peep. Crazy was the one word that kept springing to mind.
Why was it that she came again? Oh yeah, Ryan had asked and he was her friend. One of the very few that wasn’t shared mutually with her ex-boyfriend. Her and Kevin had only officially been broken up for a few weeks but in reality he had moved out a couple of months ago. So Ryan was being the good friend, trying to cheer her up and she guessed, trying to push her ever so gently back into the proverbial saddle.
"Little Bo Peep... inspired choice."
A voice that she hadn’t heard in more than five long months pulled her out of her reverie and she swirled around to greet the owner, smiling.
"Well... you know, small, blond..."
"Always losing things...," Jason reminded her laughing.
That earned him a playful swat on the arm from Kristen but it didn’t deter his smile one bit.
"How have you been stranger?"
"Good, good... how are you, Kristen?"
"Better now, actually... thanks," she replied, giving him a shy smile.
If it was possible for his grin to get any larger, it did, and suddenly she felt the air around them start to change. She was having a hard time keeping her eyes from checking him out, taking in his dark, low slung jeans and olive green sweater. The sleeves were push to his elbows and both hands were now in his back pockets. He glanced at the floor and Kristen figured he must have felt it too. The silence stretched out as she searched for anything to say besides:
I’m so glad you’re here... I’ve really missed you... Things aren’t the same with me since I can’t see you everyday... I think I might love you...
"Is Lauren here, too?"
Kristen wanted to mentally smack herself again, but she reminded herself she was only being polite. After all, that’s what any friend would do and they were friends, right. Just friends. She’d keep reminding herself daily until she got that through her thick skull.
Jason paused, letting out a small sigh. He seemed to be searching for just the right words.
"No... Lauren and I have... well the divorce should be coming through any day now."
"Oh, God... Jase... I’m so sorry... I had no idea," she replied, lightly touching his arm as to comfort him.
"It’s ok. We didn’t really tell anyone except for our families. It was fairly amicable and we didn’t want it turning into this huge mess."
Kristen dropped her head, nodding in understanding and Jason realized she probably understood a little too much.
"I’m sorry, too... about you and Kevin, I mean."
She braved a glance at his face and she found his gaze warm and sincere and the butterflies began to flutter around in her stomach. She was sorry, too, but not as sorry as she was twenty minutes ago. Not nearly as sorry as she should have been all along.
So there they were, a couple of newly single friends and Kristen tried desperately not think about what that meant. Sure she had feelings for him, deeper probably than she would ever admit, but there was no way he felt that way about her. She would just have to get her mind off of that, and soon.
"So how did you get out of wearing a costume, anyway," she asked, teasingly.
"Actually, the party was kind of an unexpected detour so I didn’t really have time to get anything together."
"Oh... other plans got cancelled," she fished.
"No, Ryan called me."
"Some friend he is... waiting until the last minute to invite you," she said laughing.
"He actually invited me last week but I wasn’t going to be able to make it. Then when he called me about an hour ago, my plans changed.."
And now, he had Kristen thoroughly intrigued.
"Really... what changed your mind?"
"You," he replied, looking at her pointedly.
There was a lump in Kristen’s throat, making it hard to breathe and there was definitely no laughing now. But that didn’t stop either of them from inching just a little closer to one another. Suddenly, as if Jason had found the resolve he’d been searching for, he grabbed her elbow and gently moved her away into a darker, quieter corner of the living room.
"Kristen... I’ve wanted to tell you this for some time but it was never right. I almost told you that night at the cast party but then Kevin showed up and saved me from being incredibly stupid. I remembered that I was married, and you had a serious boyfriend. And now... I don’t know if the time is right or not, but I do know that if I don’t tell you I’ll always wonder ‘what if.’ I would never forgive myself."
He stopped to gather a long breathe and Kristen finally found her tongue. Her eyes shined with hope and anticipation, completely opposite of the nervousness and anxiety that channeled through his. She put her arm on his in silent reassurance, mirroring her actions of earlier.
"Whatever it is Jason, you can tell me... I promise."
Whether it was her words or her tone, she wasn’t sure, but something gave him the confidence he needed.
"I love you, Kristen."
Ok, definitely wasn’t expecting that.
"I just can’t keep it inside anymore, it’s too hard. I hate looking at you and not being able to touch you, I hate knowing that someone else can, but most of all I hate the guilt that’s been eating me up because I do. It’s so hard not to love you, because believe me... I’ve tried," he finished with a nervous chuckle.
"Jason..."
"And before you say anything... no, that’s not why Lauren and I got a divorce. I would have been willing to do anything it took to save my marriage because I made a promise to her. But in the end it was her decision... she felt like there were so many things she hadn’t got to do with her life that she wanted to do. Unfortunately those things didn’t coincide with mine. And I just thought... here is my chance. Here’s my chance to get things right."
He was staring at her, searching for confirmation that she felt it too, that she wanted the same things he did. And she did... she most definitely did. He must have found what he was looking for because he leaned towards her, his deep amber pools of emotion showing every promise he would give her and she knew he was about to kiss her. God she wanted this, more than anything, but as she shifted herself off the wall she’d been leaning against, doubts began to crowd her mind.
No, this isn’t right. We’re both too vulnerable right now. I just got out of a long term relationship, his divorce isn’t even final... we’re just having a hard time with the loss of the show, this is just residual passion left over from Logan and Veronica. There is no way that Jason Dohring, perfect man and husband could have those type of feelings for me. No way. I won’t be able to handle it when he figures it out.
"I’m sorry, Jase... I can’t... I’m sorry," she spouted.
Kristen pushed past him, making a beeline for the door and she couldn’t help but think how life so often imitated art. She didn’t dare look back for fear that every ounce of resolve she had steeled would come crashing down around her. Her dreams had finally been realized, laid out before her. All she had to do was reach out and offer an olive branch of her own. But she’d let her own fears and insecurities get the better of her, leaving her dreams just that... dreams.
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She made it until one week before Christmas before Ryan broached the subject of Jason with her. They were having a late lunch when he oh so casually mentioned that Jason’s divorce had been officially final last month and wanted to know if she knew of anyone they could set him up with. He had always been a bit of a matchmaker but now it seemed like he was trying to be the physical embodiment of Cupid. Kristen didn’t buy his little innocent act one bit.
"Look Ryan, I appreciate what you’re trying to do... I really do, but cut it out, ok?"
"What? I’m just trying to find the guy a date for that killer New Year’s bash of Devon’s. You’re going, right?"
"Yes, of course I am, but don’t get any ideas. Jason and I are fresh out of serious relationships and besides, everyone knows dating your co-stars never end well."
"You’re not co-stars anymore and neither one of you are fresh out of anything except guts."
"Funny."
"Look Kris... I don’t know what’s going on with you guys but I know it’s something. He had been dropping hints about seeing you for a while before my Halloween party and I know something happened there. I practically saw the whole thing. So whatever this thing is between you, you owe to yourselves to figure it out. Besides he’s driving me nuts trying to come up with ways to ask about you without trying to seem like he’s actually asking about you. Guy can be such a girl sometimes. So just call him, ok... please."
"I’ll think about it."
That was two weeks ago and she had just gotten up the nerve to take Ryan’s advice. So there she was, her fingers hovering over the buttons on her cell phone, going through the pros and cons list in her head one more time. And like Jason, in the end, she knew she’d regret it if she didn’t take the chance.
As she looked around her, everyone seemed to have coupled up, ready for the main event except for her. She ducked under and around people, in and out of every room, hoping that she just missed him. It would have been hard, she mused, since she had practically staked out the front door most of the night.
One last stroll past the bar had her replaying the morning’s conversation in her head, trying desperately to find the point at which Jason had decided to be polite instead of turning her down outright. Of course now, since he’d so obviously blown her off, she didn’t find it so polite. But surely he couldn’t have been so callous. Wouldn’t he have known that she would be spending her last few minutes of 2007 alone, searching for someone she thought for sure would be there.
Doubts were beginning to flow through her mind. Maybe she was too late, he’d changed his mind, didn’t feel that way about her anymore. Or maybe he’d gotten back with Lauren. The thought of a new year and a new beginning weighing heavily on his mind...too many years to throw away. Regardless, he wasn’t here and with a heavy heart she realized he wasn’t coming. That right there had confirmed every doubt she ever had about him changing his mind and coming to his senses. Jason Dohring couldn’t be in love with her and she had known it all along. She inwardly cursed herself for ever having hope at all.
Kristen made her way back over to the bar. Drowning herself in a giant margarita sounded really good about now. All the televisions in the club were simultaneously playing Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve. At least she could watch something while drinking away her sorrows. Anything to keep her mind off of Jason or lack there of.
Twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen, sixteen...
As she looked up at the television watching the countdown start, her eyes began to get cloudy and her breathing became ragged. All the deep breaths in the world weren’t going to keep her from losing it right there in a room full of people. But at least in a few moments, they’d be kissing each other and she could just fade into the background.
Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen, twelve...
The people were beginning to crowd her... wasn’t she supposed to have friends around somewhere? She could use one of them right about now. The breaths meant to calm her were becoming more frequent, more shallow, and the tears were tipping over their optical dams. She knew that any minute now she was going to start hyperventilating or something. God, she should just have a flashing neon sign over her head that screamed ‘pathetic.’
Eleven, ten, nine, eight...
And just when Kristen thought she couldn’t take it any more, she felt a light, hesitant tap on her shoulder. Her breath caught and her feet became rooted to the floor. She was afraid to turn around. What if it wasn’t him?
But then she heard it.
"Kristen..."
Her name... breathed out like a prayer, yet loud enough that her heart clearly separated it from every other noise in the room.
Seven, six, five, four...
She turned around to find Jason staring at her like she was his first drink of water after trekking across the Sahara... desperate desire and unbridled need clearly showing through his eyes. Her mouth fell open slightly, trying hard to find any air to breathe in but the heat between them had apparently sucked it all up.
They both now seemed to be rooted to their spots, each unable or possibly unwilling, Kristen fretted, to make any move at all. But he was here, looking at her in that way and surely that could only mean one thing.
Three, two, one...
Kristen blinked and suddenly she felt two strong hands on her face, pulling her to him. Their lips met in a sudden frenzy and what happened next, Kristen couldn’t exactly say. Overcome with emotion, her eyes squeezed tightly shut finally causing the tears to fall. And he must have felt them because the hands that were now around her back and in her hair pulled her tighter and held her closer. Their need suddenly became tangible and everything around her began to blur, the party simply fading away. Somewhere off in the distance she could hear Ryan Seacrest droning about Hannah Utah or something or other. Kristen was sure that wasn’t quite right but damn if she could think coherently. Because right then she was kissing Jason Dohring and he was kissing her back and she realized with sudden and infinite clarity that she was more than just a little bit in love with this man.
After a very long and passion filled moment, they pulled back from each other slightly, both deprived of oxygen but filled with promises. He rested his forehead on hers the way he had done many times when they were Logan/Veronica but they weren’t them now. They were Kristen and Jason and this was uncharted territory for them both.
"Kristen..."
"Yes, Jase."
"Why are you crying," he asked tenderly.
"Oh god, Jase... it’s so stupid... I thought... I...I didn’t think you were coming... and then... well," she answered between half laughs and half sobs.
"Well... what..."
She pulled her forehead away from his ever so slightly and looked up at him. Her own hands found either side of his face, cradling it. She searched his eyes trying to find a hope that mirrored her own. And their it was. The promise of a new beginning, a future for them... Kristen and Jason. She tried to articulate everything her heart was screaming but nothing would come to her. She settled for what she could only hope conveyed it all.
"You’re here," she said with a grin that covered half of her face.
Jason’s shoulders shook with a slight chuckle.
"It took me forever to get here... but yes...I am."
She knew the feeling.
Their eyes remained locked as he leaned down to kiss her again, reassuring her of that very fact and so much more.
Sometimes the end is only the beginning...
This is my first RPF and I"m still new to writing all together, so any concrit or comments of any kind are greatly appreciated.