No Ordinary Boys ~ Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Mary had just finished putting away the groceries when she turned and saw Sam standing by the kitchen table, shuffling awkwardly on his feet. Over the past two weeks the boys had been settling in well but they both still had trouble asking when they wanted something.
"Hey Sam," she smiled. "You okay, sweetie?"
Sam nodded, scratching the back of his hand nervously.
"Is there something you wanted, honey?" she asked gently.
"Dean's sick and...and I..." Sam babbled and he let out a frustrated huff when he couldn't get the words out right.
"It's okay, Sam." Mary coaxed. "Just take a deep breath and start again."
Sam took a couple of calming breaths before trying again. "Dean's sick and I wanted to ask if you could help me make him some soup?"
"Soup?"
"Dean told me that if he got sick when he was little, mom would make him soup to help him feel better." Sam answered, looking anxiously down at his feet, unsure weather he should be asking or not.
"I think that sounds like a great idea." Mary deliberately made her tone cheerful, hoping it would ease Sam's anxiety. "I was just about to make a start on lunch anyway and soup sounds like the perfect choice."
Sam looked up with a shy smile on his face. "Yeah? Do...can...can we make chicken noodle? That's what our mom used to make."
"I don't think I have all the ingredients we need for chicken noodle." Mary replied. "But I've told that I make a really good tomato rice soup. What do you think? Do you reckon Dean will like tomato rice?"
Sam chewed his lip thoughtfully for a moment before nodding.
"Okay, then let's get cooking."
Mary gathered up the ingredients they required and began instructing Sam on what needed to be done. She was surprised by how well Sam completed each task he was set and that he seemed genuinely interested in what Mary was saying.
"You know, Sam. I think you'd make a really great chef one day. You're doing a great job."
"Dean said that our mom was really good at cooking." Sam replied. "And that she made the best peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the whole world."
Mary smiled. "Well maybe the cooking thing is something you get from her."
"Maybe." Sam shrugged, and then he stopped what he was doing, looking sadly down at the table. "I wouldn't know though."
"You wouldn't know what?"
"About the sandwiches." Sam answered, his voice starting to shake a little. "She died before I was old enough for her to make them for me."
Mary knew from the social services report that Sam and Dean's mom had died when Sam was just a baby. The report had said that their mom had been killed in a break in gone wrong, and that she had been found lying lifeless on the floor in the nursery with baby Sam sat by her side. No one had ever been caught for the crime.
She gently wrapped an arm around Sam's shoulders. "I'm sorry, Sam."
"You shouldn't feel sorry for me." Sam sniffled. "It's my fault she died. If you feel sorry for anyone it should be Dean. If I hadn't had got mom killed then Dean would never have been hurt so much."
"Sam, it's not your fault your mom died." Mary rubbed a hand up and down his arm, trying to soothe him. "You didn't get anyone killed."
Sam shook his head. "Yes I did. Mom died because she was protecting me. If I hadn't of been there then she would still be alive." Sam began trembling. "I saw a photo once of mom, dad and Dean, and they looked so happy. Dad was smiling and my whole life I can't ever remember dad smiling once. He had Dean on his shoulders and Dean was giggling." Sam's voice cracked as tears ran down his face. "If I had never been born then they would still be that happy family. Mom would never have died, dad would never have turned into a monster and Dean would be safe."
Mary felt her heart ache at Sam's pain and she pulled him into her arms. "Shhh, Sam," she soothed. "None of that was your fault. You hear me? None of it. You were just an innocent baby and your mom loved you. She did what any mother would do and protected her baby, that doesn't make her death your fault." Mary ran her hand softly up and down Sam's back. "And as for you never being born? Well, I think your brother would have something to say about that. Dean loves you Sam and he wouldn't change you for the world."
Sam let Mary comfort him for a little while longer before taking a deep breath to try and pull himself together.
Mary pulled back a bit when she felt Sam start to calm down and she smiled softly at him. "Okay, what do say we get back to the soup?"
Sam nodded.
"Good." Mary turned her attention back to the cooker, stirring the pot of soup. "Can you pass me the salt?"
Sam went to grab the salt, but hesitated at the last second when he remembered John catching him trying to put down the salt lines in the bedroom last night.
"It's alright, Sam." Mary noticed his reluctance and gave him a reassuring smile. "John told me about the thing with salt last night and it's fine. No one is mad at you and you're not in any trouble, okay?"
Sam nodded and handed over the salt, watching as Mary poured the required amount into the soup.
"So, do you want to tell me about what happened with salt last night?"
Sam shrugged. "Just got scared."
"And you thought the salt would help keep you safe?"
Sam looked uncomfortable. "I guess."
"Why salt?"
"I don't know." Sam lied. "Can...can we talk about something else?"
"Sure sweetie." Not wanting to upset him any further, Mary went back to talking about cooking.
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John smiled at the peaceful look on Dean's face as he slept. It seemed a shame to have to wake him but it was time for his medication, so John gently shook his shoulder.
Dean jolted awake and it saddened John that whenever he woke Dean, the first emotion on the kid's face was always fear. It soon faded to a look of caution when he realised where we he was and he blinked sleepily up at John.
"What's going on? Sam okay?"
"He's fine." John assured quickly. "He's downstairs with Mary making lunch. How you feeling?"
Dean shrugged. "M'okay." He still wasn't sure how to respond to all the concern John and Mary were giving him. Whenever he had gotten ill at his uncle's, he had been punished for it, as if it was somehow his fault that he was sick.
John reached out to feel Dean's forehead, keeping his movements slow and steady so that Dean could see his hand coming in plenty of time. "Well, your fever has definitely gone down." John smiled in relief. "You gave us all quite the scare last night, kiddo."
"Yeah, sorry about that." Dean lowered his head. "I don't know what happened. I was feeling fine then everything just got all fuzzy."
"There's no need to apologise, Dean. You can't help getting sick." John sat down on the edge of the bed. "Do you remember much about last night?"
"Not really." Dean mumbled, picking idly at the bed sheets. "I remember the bath."
John nodded and carefully he reached out and lifted Dean's chin so that he could meet his eyes. "You do know that wasn't a punishment, right? I wasn't doing that to hurt you or out of anger. It was only to try and bring your temperature down."
"I know." Dean said quietly. "It's just at the time it felt like before when my dad would...and I panicked cause I didn't know what I'd done to make you angry."
"Dean, listen to me." John kept his tone firm but calm. "It will never be like that here. No matter what you do, I will never intentionally hurt you or brother."
"You say that now but..."
John shook his head. "No buts, Dean. It's not going to happen. Not ever."
Dean gave a small nod although he still looked uncertain, and John understood that it was going to be a long time before Dean would be able to completely trust what he was saying.
"Okay, well it's time for some more medicine." John grabbed the glass of water and tablets from the bedside table and handed them to Dean.
"You know with the amount of pills you people keep shoving down me, I'm surprised I'm not rattling." Dean grumbled but he dutifully swallowed the tablets.
John chuckled softly, replacing the glass back on the table before turning his attention back to Dean. "I wanted to speak to you for a moment, about what happened with Sam last night and the salt."
Dean sighed. "Look, don't be mad at Sam, okay? The salt is just a security thing he does when he gets scared. He was already freaking cause I was sick and then on top of that he had nightmare. He was just trying to feel safe."
"I'm not mad at him Dean. I'm just trying to understand why Sam would think the salt would protect him."
Dean bristled. "He's not crazy if that's what you're thinking."
John held up his hands placating. "I never thought he was. It's just that it's an unusual thing to do."
Dean wasn't sure what to say. It's not like he could tell John the truth about Sam's visions, and to be honest he didn't even really understand the whole salt thing himself. "I'm not sure why he does it, but if it bothers you that much then I'll make sure he doesn't do it again, okay?"
"It doesn't bother me, Dean. I'm just concerned. If Sam feels unsafe then I want to be able to help."
"You don't need to worry about helping him." Dean said firmly. "That's my job and I can look after him just fine."
John could tell that Dean was getting defensive and knew he had to tread carefully. "I know you can, buddy, but you shouldn't have to cope with all that responsibility on your own, and if Mary and I help then..."
"He's not some burden." Dean snapped, wincing at the pain the action caused in his still sore throat. "He's my brother and you don't get to take that away from me, got it?"
John nodded not wanting Dean to get anymore worked up. "Okay Dean, it's alright. I didn't mean to upset you. Just relax, alright?"
Dean glared at John for a few more moments before taking some deep breaths to calm himself down. He was thankful that Sam didn't pick up on any tension when he came through the door just a few seconds later with a huge smile on his face and a tray clutched in his hands.
"Dean, you're awake." Sam grinned and made his way over to his brother, proudly presenting him with the tray. "I made you lunch."
"Wow Sammy, this looks great." Dean said, making a show of examining everything on the lunch tray.
"It's soup." Sam declared, clearly pleased with himself. "Mary helped me make it. It's tomato rice. I know mom used to make you chicken noodle but I think you'll like this one too."
Dean glanced briefly over at Mary who was placing a second tray down on Sam's bed.
"Mary said that I can eat lunch up here with you because Jake and Becca are coming over."
Mary saw Dean tense up at the mention of the social workers. "It's okay, Dean, " she assured. "They're just coming round to check you're both settling in okay. It's nothing for you to worry about."
Dean nodded but his expression remained wary.
"Alright. Well, you boys enjoy lunch and if you need anything John and I will be just downstairs, okay?"
Once John and Mary had left, Dean turned his attention back to his brother who was still beaming with pride at Dean's lunch tray.
Dean couldn't help but smile. He loved it when Sam was happy. "So, you liked cooking then?"
Sam nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, it was fun."
Dean chuckled. "You're such a girl, Sammy," he teased.
"Shut up." Sam hit his brother playfully on the shoulder before going to the other bed to eat his own lunch.
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"What time should they be getting here?" John asked as he took a seat on the couch.
"Any minute now." Mary replied. "They said there are a couple of things they need to discuss with us."
"Well I hope one of them is counselling." John sighed. "It's been over three weeks now and we still haven't heard anything."
Mary took his hand in hers. "You're worried."
"I just can't help feeling I'm missing something big." John ran a hand tiredly over his face. "I mean this whole thing with Sam and the salt, something about that just doesn't seem right. I know Dean knew more than he was letting on but he wouldn't talk to me."
"You think they're hiding something?"
John nodded. "And whatever it is, they're terrified, and if they don't feel comfortable talking to us then hopefully the counsellors will be able to help them."
The sound of the door knocking interrupted them and Mary got up to go and meet Becca and Jake.
Once everyone was seated in the lounge, Mary handed around the coffee before sitting down beside John on the couch.
"So, how are the boys doing?" Becca asked.
"They're doing well." Mary answered. "Dean's still feeling a little sick but he's getting better. He and Sam are just upstairs having lunch."
Becca nodded. "I'll go up and say hello before I leave."
"As I said on the phone," Jake began, "There are a few things we wanted to discuss. The first is that we are aware that this was only supposed to a short term placement, but unfortunately we haven't been unable to find anywhere more suitable for the boys. We are of course still looking but..."
John raised his hand, cutting Jake off. "It's fine for the boys to stay here as long as needed."
Mary nodded her agreement. "They seem to be settling well here and we honestly don't mind them staying longer than planned."
"Okay then." Becca smiled. "At some point of the next few days we would like for Dean and Sam to come in for an interview in regards to the court case against their uncle."
"We of course already have a pretty good case with just the findings from the boy's physical exams, but if Sam or Dean admits to their uncle being the one who abused them then the chances of us winning would be a lot stronger." Jake added.
John looked unsure. "Dean's still not well. I'm not sure adding any more stress at the moment would be a good idea. Can't it wait until he's feeling stronger."
"We really want to do this as soon as possible, Mr. Winchester." Jake stated.
"Would you be interviewing them together?" Mary asked.
"No, we need to talk to them separately."
John shook his head. "Dean's not going to agree to that."
"Dean's a minor. He doesn't get to make the rules." Jake replied, irritation creeping into his tone.
"Look," said Becca, before John had a chance to respond. "No one wants to cause Dean or Sam any more distress but this is important, and I think we all agree that we want to ensure their uncle doesn't get away with what he's done."
John shot Jake a hard glare before nodding tightly. "But if it starts proving too much for either of the boys then they get to stop."
"Of course." Becca smiled. "Now, the other thing we wanted to talk to you about is Dean and Sam's schooling."
"We want to get them both back into some kind of mainstream education as soon as possible." Jake explained. "We have Dean's school reports and grades from his previous school, so we have some idea where he is academically, but as Sam has never attended school we need to find out what level he is at educationally."
Becca pulled some files out of her bag, handing them over to John and Mary. "These are some general developmental and school screening tests. They will help us identify any problem areas that Sam may have as well as any particular strengths. If you could go over them with Sam at some point in the near future then we would be very grateful."
Mary nodded. "Not a problem."
"Okay, is there anything else you wish to discuss?" Becca asked.
"What about counselling for the boys?" John questioned. "Has anything been sorted out yet?"
"Not as of yet but we are hoping it won't be too much longer before something is arranged." Becca replied and John had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying something he might regret.
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After Becca and Jake had quickly spoken to the boys they had left, telling John and Mary that they would call and let them know when Sam and Dean's interviews had been arranged. John had gone outside to work on the Impala and Mary was sat at the kitchen table going through the school assessments Becca had left. She was distracted from the paperwork when Sam walked into the room, balancing both lunch trays in his arms.
Mary quickly moved to help him with the load before anything tumbled to the floor. "Sam, honey, you didn't need to bring these down. I would have gotten them later."
"I don't mind." Sam replied. "I wanted to help and Dean fell asleep...again."
"It's okay, Sam." Mary assured, picking up on the concern in Sam's tone. "People tend to sleep a lot when they're sick. Dean's going to be fine."
Sam nodded.
"If you've got a minute there's something I'd like to talk to you about." Mary smiled and patted the chair next to her. "You want to come and sit down for a sec."
Sam slowly moved and sat down, his eyes glancing curiously over the papers spread out on the table.
"Do you know what these are?" Mary asked.
Sam shook his head.
"These are some school papers. I thought we could look over them and see which parts you like and which ones you don't." Mary said, keeping her tone soft and coaxing.
The tension that coursed through Sam's body at the word school was immediate. "Why?"
"Because it will help us find out how best to help you get the most out of school." Mary smiled.
"I already told you, I'm too stupid for school." Sam mumbled, lowering his head so his hair covered his eyes.
"And I told you that I don't believe that's true." Mary said gently. "Why don't we just have a look and see what you think?"
Sam chewed nervously on his lip and shook his head. "I'll just do it wrong," he whispered.
"It's not about getting it right or wrong, Sam." Mary assured. "All you're expected to do is try. If you get something wrong then that's fine. Nothing bad will happen because you make a mistake."
Sam remained silent but he did look across at the papers.
"Come on." Mary coaxed. "Let's just take a look, okay? If you want to stop then we will."
It turned out that Sam had quite a head for numbers and he breezed over most the math problems with ease, but he found reading a lot more difficult and he stuttered over a lot of the words. He was reading a paragraph on one of the English worksheets when he came to word he didn't know and he just froze.
"Sam?" Mary gave him an encouraging smile. "If you don't know what it is, that's okay. Why don't you just try and sound it out."
Sam didn't move. He didn't speak. He just stared at the unknown word in front of him. Up until now even though he'd struggled over a lot of the words, he had been able to figure them out, but he just didn't have a clue what this word was. His mind flashed back to the time when Dean had been at school and his aunt and uncle had decided to teach him to read. Their method of teaching had been to give him a book that was pretty much impossible for him to read, and then his uncle would hit him every time he got a word wrong while his aunt called him all the names under the sun. Dean had been so angry when he'd come home and found Sam beaten and bloody, and he remembered that Dean didn't go to school for months after that, refusing to leave Sam's side.
Sam closed his eyes against the cruel memory, trying to force it back but he couldn't and he felt himself begin to shake.
"Sam?" Mary said in concern when she noticed the trembling. "Hey, Sam, it's alright. Do you want to stop, sweetie? It's okay if you do."
Sam didn't respond. He just shivered as he stared down at the paper in front of him.
"Sam?" Mary reached out to gently touch his shoulder, quickly pulling her hand back when Sam flinched violently and let out a distressed noise.
"Hey, Sam? It's okay, you're alright." Mary said softly, alarmed at how Sam's breathing was beginning to speed up.
"Everything okay?"
The sound of John's voice had an immediate impact on Sam. He jumped nearly a mile in the air at the sound and then whimpering loudly, he slid off the chair and underneath the table.
Sam curled himself into a ball, placing his arms protectively over his head as he repeatedly screamed the only word his mind could form through his terror. "Dean!"
"What happened?" John asked in shock, rushing over to kneel beside the table Sam was hiding under.
"I don't know." Mary said, her concern clear. "We were just going over the school work and he was fine, but then he just started panicking."
"Sam? Hey buddy, can you hear me?" John kept his tone low and calm. "Sam?"
"Sam!" The sound of Sam's name being shouted was quickly followed by a series of thuds as Dean raced down the stairs. That was then followed by a series of louder thuds as Dean lost his footing and fell down the last half of the stairs.
"Son of a..." John cursed under his breath, hurrying over to help Dean, leaving Mary to look after Sam.
"Jesus, Dean." John quickly reached down to help him up from the heap he was in on the floor. "You okay?"
"Get off me." Dean growled, batting John's hands away and shoving him out of his way. "Sam!"
Dean flew into the kitchen, his eyes frantically searching the room for his brother. "Back off," he snapped at Mary who was knelt by the table that he could see Sam cowering under. Dean was under the table and had Sam in his arms within seconds. "Hey Sammy, it's okay. I'm here, I'm here. Shhh, it's alright, you're okay." Dean soothed, rocking his brother slowly backwards and forwards. "Shhh, Sam."
Sam curled his fists tightly into Dean's shirt and he tried to take a few deep breaths, letting the scent of Dean and therefore safety wash over him.
"That's it's, Sammy." Dean whispered. "Just breathe. You're alright now. I'm here."
Once Sam had calmed down enough, Dean pulled back so he could meet Sam's eyes. "What happened, kiddo?"
"I...I...and...but..." Sam stammered, unable to stop shaking long enough to form a proper sentence.
"Shhh, Shhh. It's alright, Sammy." Dean rubbed comforting circles across Sam's back "Just relax. I gotcha."
"Okay kiddo," he said after a few more moments. "You ready to get out from under here?"
Sam looked around fearfully but nodded.
"Okay, come on." Dean smiled and gently helped Sam out from under the table. The second they were upright, Sam plastered himself to Dean, hiding his face in his brother's chest. "Shhh, I'm here, Sam. You're safe."
"Dean?" John said, taking a careful step towards them.
Dean ignored him in favour of glancing over at the papers on the table. It didn't him long to realise what they were and he fixed Mary with an accusing stare. "What did you do?"
"We were just looking at some of school stuff that the social workers brought over." Mary explained.
"I told you not to talk to him about school." Dean snarled, shushing Sam when he felt his brother flinch at his tone. "I told you to leave anything to do with school to me."
"Dean, we're just trying to help you both." John said.
"Well, great job you've done." Dean snapped. "All you've managed to do is terrify him."
John sighed. "Dean..."
"No." Dean's eyes were furious as they focused on John. "If you really want to help him then just leave him the hell alone."
Dean gave them both another angry glare before gently leading Sam away and back up to their bedroom.
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"The boys sleeping?" Mary asked when John joined her in bed later that night.
"Sam is but Dean's still wide awake." John replied. "And judging by the death glare I got when I checked on them, I don't think he's forgiven us yet."
"At least they both still came down for dinner."
John nodded, pulling Mary into his arms. "Andy called while you were in shower?"
"Yeah? He alright?"
"He's fine." John smiled. "Just said that he was having a few buddies from the marines over tomorrow for barbeque and wanted to invite us over. I said we would."
"Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean Dean and Sam really didn't react well when we in that restaurant and then with what happened earlier today."
"No, I'm not sure." John sighed. "But Mare, they can't just stay cooped up inside the house all the time, and Andy's sons are around the same age as Dean and Sam, maybe they'll be more at ease with some other kids around."
Mary nodded. "I really hope so."
"We'll keep a close eye on them, if it looks like it too much for them then we can always leave." John kissed the top of Mary's head and Mary sighed happily as she cuddled closer. "Get some sleep, baby," he whispered and he closed his eyes, hoping that the agreeing to the barbeque wouldn't turn out to be a huge mistake.
Chapter 11