Warning: Rant ahead
I know a lot of people don't use Livejournal much anymore, but this is the one place I can go and get things off my chest knowing that family members and certain others won't see it. Things in my friends' lives have pretty much gone to shit lately, and it's put me on a rant.
Okay, so we found out yesterday that a good friend's cancer is way more terminal now than it was when he started with the trial. They're giving him a 20% chance to live 1-2 more years. Yeah, well, never tell me the odds. No, I mean really, never tell me the odds. I'm just going to think the worst. I'm trying to be positive about this and think that he has a chance to beat those odds, which he does. But I have an intense fear of death. No, it's not like some people think, that you're afraid of death because you're afraid of living. I'm really terrified of dying.
Our friends are religious, which, yeah, awesome. They don't try and shove it down my throat or speak badly about me because I don't believe in the same things they do. I'm glad they have that hope that their "benevolent god" is going to save him. I can't agree with that, because what benevolent entity allows good people to suffer though this kind of shit? What benevolent being allows so many assholes to live while he takes away the good people? I mean, for fuck's sake, we have the biggest child in the world who doesn't believe in a goddamned thing in our government as our newly "elected" (more like electoraled) president! Benevolent my ass.
People constantly ask for prayers for themselves or someone close to them (or sometimes a total stranger) and that's okay. Just don't expect me to do it. I'd much rather believe in gods of another pantheon than the Christian one. Everyone thinks he's better, but he isn't. He's just as selfish and bitter as the Greek/Egyptian/Norse gods. Yet if I were to tell someone who believes in Christianity that I worship Bast or Hephaestus or Tyr, I'd be looked at funny and told I was stupid or something, that I shouldn't believe in things that are just fantasy. Who says your god isn't fantasy as well? The bible is just stories. Who says if they are fact or fiction? You can't trace it back to a credible source of who wrote the passages.
But whatever. Believe what you want, but remember that your god is just as bad as the others.
By the way, I really hate cancer. It's affected so many people I know, myself included. It hurts and takes people away from their loved ones. It makes you angry and irritable. Last summer, our family lost two friends and Rich's uncle all within 6 weeks, all from cancer. And now it's trying to take another friend. A friend who has a 2 year old. Why did this happen to him? Why does it happen to anyone? I don't know, maybe I'm selfish for wanting to keep people around longer. I feel selfish for living so long while others can't.
Okay.. I think that's it. I just had to get that out before it consumed me. My brain tends to hate me a lot. Thanks for reading, whoever makes it this far.
Okay, so we found out yesterday that a good friend's cancer is way more terminal now than it was when he started with the trial. They're giving him a 20% chance to live 1-2 more years. Yeah, well, never tell me the odds. No, I mean really, never tell me the odds. I'm just going to think the worst. I'm trying to be positive about this and think that he has a chance to beat those odds, which he does. But I have an intense fear of death. No, it's not like some people think, that you're afraid of death because you're afraid of living. I'm really terrified of dying.
Our friends are religious, which, yeah, awesome. They don't try and shove it down my throat or speak badly about me because I don't believe in the same things they do. I'm glad they have that hope that their "benevolent god" is going to save him. I can't agree with that, because what benevolent entity allows good people to suffer though this kind of shit? What benevolent being allows so many assholes to live while he takes away the good people? I mean, for fuck's sake, we have the biggest child in the world who doesn't believe in a goddamned thing in our government as our newly "elected" (more like electoraled) president! Benevolent my ass.
People constantly ask for prayers for themselves or someone close to them (or sometimes a total stranger) and that's okay. Just don't expect me to do it. I'd much rather believe in gods of another pantheon than the Christian one. Everyone thinks he's better, but he isn't. He's just as selfish and bitter as the Greek/Egyptian/Norse gods. Yet if I were to tell someone who believes in Christianity that I worship Bast or Hephaestus or Tyr, I'd be looked at funny and told I was stupid or something, that I shouldn't believe in things that are just fantasy. Who says your god isn't fantasy as well? The bible is just stories. Who says if they are fact or fiction? You can't trace it back to a credible source of who wrote the passages.
But whatever. Believe what you want, but remember that your god is just as bad as the others.
By the way, I really hate cancer. It's affected so many people I know, myself included. It hurts and takes people away from their loved ones. It makes you angry and irritable. Last summer, our family lost two friends and Rich's uncle all within 6 weeks, all from cancer. And now it's trying to take another friend. A friend who has a 2 year old. Why did this happen to him? Why does it happen to anyone? I don't know, maybe I'm selfish for wanting to keep people around longer. I feel selfish for living so long while others can't.
Okay.. I think that's it. I just had to get that out before it consumed me. My brain tends to hate me a lot. Thanks for reading, whoever makes it this far.