(no subject)
they watched season 1.
then talked about it, and talked.
like they knew.
it's not the same.
they don't know.
i know lots of people watch queer as folk.
it's not like some secret society.
so why do i feel like they shouldn't be allowed to?
because it's mine.
it has always been mine.
it's not something that i giggle about
and squeal about
and chat about like it's just some sort of nothing.
it's mine to watch and love and immerse myself in when i need to.
it's mine to just turn to when i need to pretend my life is okay.
it's my way to escape and detach myself from everyone around me.
because they are not part of it.
it's mine.
now that they've watched it, it's like i can't have it anymore.
i listen to them talking about it
and they don't have the same thoughts and feeling that i have about it.
it's been ruined, because they have taken it and changed it.
now, what i thought and felt means nothing,
because i have to see it as "my interpretation"
instead of just... the reality.
my reality.
whatever.
i'm talking pure garbage.
it's just that my little secret has been exposed,
and the one thing that i indulged myself in being able to hide
has been taken away from me,
and i have to pretend to be happy to share it.
i'm not happy to share it.
it's mine.
on a higher note,
right now we have season 3 of the l word.
they've already watched it before me
and, somehow, that helps.
it's not like they can take from me what they already have.
so, i'm just sneaking it away from them.
LoL.