(no subject)
it's funny how nice it feels to remember high school-ish feelings.
less than the feeling itself, the nostalgia that comes with it is fantastic.
i said today, "i love the moment when you know, without a doubt, that someone you like feels the same way."
i didn't actually say it aloud, but i thought it.
it was cute.
the best part is the fleeting sense of it all.
i have no intention of going anywhere with this; i don't plan to act on it at all.
i know this, whatever "this" is, will only last the duration of this week, too.
then, we'll go our separate ways and that will be that.
ahh, to be young and carefree.
like i'm so old and plagued with troubles.
right.
but, i do realize i'm a lot more serious than most others.
i'm definitely WAY more serious than i was just a handful of years ago.
i am not complaining about that, because it was by choice.
i do miss the light-heartedness of it all, though, sometimes.
it's just been so pleasant.
we talk, we laugh, we ask questions about one another, learning each other, "becoming friends."
there is no pressure.
no awkwardness.
i think because i'm much more confident right now than i've ever been before, this is especially pleasant.
i am older [and he doesn't even know by how much].
i know what i want and what i don't.
i am detached, content with or without him, and that translates in our interactions -- there is comfort between us.
today, there was a lot of conversation, interaction, choosing to stay close to one another.
then, that moment came, and it was awesome.
[standing across the room from one another, we kept casually catching one another's eye while supervising the activity.
then, randomly, he looked at me and i looked at him.
he smiled at me and i smiled at him.
and we both, simultaneously, started making our way across the room to one another.
not for any particular reason.
not to say anything extremely important.
just to be together in that moment.]*
because, out of all the people in that room at that time, i was the person he most wanted to be with.
and he was the same for me.
that's friendship.
regardless of whatever else kind of relationship is going on between two people,
that action there is reflective of their friendship --
a friendly relation or intimacy.
and it was nice.
two more days of niceness.
then, after that... we'll see.
*on re-reading that passage,
it strongly reminds me of a definitive point in another relationship i once had.
and that feeling of nostalgia was a little more bittersweet.
that night had been so incredible
and everything that followed it... still hurts my heart.
*sigh*