[oneshot] Cruel World
Summary: Yamada decided to leave Yuto, his boyfriend… without telling him a reason and only leaving a letter behind. The world is so cruel to them…
Yamada’s heart was broken into pieces as he tried to digest in his mind what he had just heard from the doctor. He blinked, twice, thrice… and still…
“What was it, Kamenashi-sensei?” he asked as his voice stuttered. Fear was visible in his eyes. His hands were cold and shaking. He wanted the time to stop. If only that was the only thing that would prevent him from listening his doctor’s answer.
His doctor, Kamenashi Kazuya, looked at him with sadness covering his eyes and face. “I’m sorry Yama-chan… I couldn’t do anything about it anymore. Your cancer… was already in stage four. If only you had your check-up not too late….” Kame said with a very low voice.
Upon hearing those, he knew that he wasn’t dreaming at all. That was absolutely the reality in his life. What have he done to deserve that sickness? Of all, why does it must have to be the deadly cancer? He swallowed the lump in his throat and he tried to clear his vision and stared at his doctor.
“You have been so good to me, sensei. Thank you for all the things you did.” He said as he stood up.
“But-don’t lose hope, Yama-chan!” Kame tried to cheer him up.
He just smiled bitterly. And he whispered in his mind… the world is so cruel. The world is full of cruel things…
***
“Yama-chan~ Where are you now?” the cheerful voice of his boyfriend, Yuto Nakajima, was heard in his phone as he answered it. He tried his best to smile and think of him... his future with him.
“I’m at my house, Yuto.” He answered back, as he filled his voice with cheerfulness as well.
“What happened to the -kun?” he heard Yuto teased him on the other line.
He just smiled. This time, it wasn’t a forced one. But a tear still escaped from his eyes. “I miss you Yuto.” He said.
“I know~ I will be there in an hour!” Yuto said as he ended the call right then. He must have been hurrying now.
That was the kind of person Yuto is. A cheerful one. He was always thinking of positive things. Which is completely opposite from him. For the first time, he wished he was the same as Yuto. And he wondered, what would Yuto do if he was the one on his place? If he was the one diagnosed with cancer… and only left with a month to live.
***
The door bell rand endlessly so he hurriedly rushed to open the door. He knew it was Yuto so he prepared his most genuine smile for him.
“Yuto-“
“Happy birthday, Yama-chan!” Yuto shouted as soon as he opened the door for him. He was wearing that idiot-like hat, shaped as cake and with a candle on the middle with the words “Happy Birthday” pasted on it. His smile was priceless, probably one of the best he had ever seen. And of course, the strawberry cake that was prepared from him was there too.
He got teary-eyed the moment he realized what Yuto just did. It was his birthday, and he even forgot about it. The words “thank you” just stayed on his mouth.
“What? Won’t you even let me in?” Yuto asked as he pouted.
He smiled and blinked. “A-ah, yeah. Come in.”
Yuto went straight to the kitchen and put the cake to the dining table. He playfully went far from him and got something from his back.
“What are you planning this time?” he asked as he raised his eyebrow.
The other guy just giggled. He got his hands from his back and throws confetti.
He watched them as they fell onto the floor. The world is colorful… his life was colorful… but why did God take those things away from him? He stared at Yuto with sad eyes. Yes, this man…. This guy that he loves… will shortly be taken away from him too. Forever.
“What’s wrong?” Yuto asked as he came near to him in a second and touched his cheek. “Why is my precious Yama-chan sad?”
The tears he had been trying to hold in managed to escape. His throat already hurts just by stopping them. His tears… they fell endlessly as Yuto hugged him tightly.
“Y-yuto…” he said.
“Hmm?” Yuto asked lovingly as he broke their hug.
He looked straight to his honest eyes and swallowed hard. “I love you. Forever.”
Yuto smiled widely upon hearing it. “I love you too. Until forever ends…” he said as he slowly lowered his head for them to share a kiss.
He accepted that with all his heart. The soft lips he felt, was slowly kissing him lovingly and passionately… those lips he wouldn’t forget all his life…
They continued to share their kiss and stopped to look for air. Yuto stared at his lips and wiped something from it. “I couldn’t get enough of your kiss Yama-chan… It seems now you’re kissing me like there’s no tomorrow anymore.” Yuto said with a little tease.
He just smiled. “So… shall we eat the cake now? The strawberries were calling for me already.”
***
Three weeks had passed just like that. He filled those with sweet memories with Yuto. And of course, he did his best so his lover couldn’t notice a thing.
He smiled bitterly as he looked at the calendar. Almost all the days of the month of “May” was encircled with red pen. And, there was only 1 day left…
He turned to look at the mirror this time. He has gone weak. He had been losing weight drastically. His eyes lost its sparkle. And they were covered with dark circles. He had gone paler. And his hair… he had almost lost them all. He touched his head and some hair was on his palm. He sighed and put a cap on. The one that Yuto gave him.
He looked around his place and seemed like he was living in a haunted house. He was just glad Yuto was busy and he kept on stopping him from visiting.
He looked back at the table and got the pen. He looked at the blank crumpled paper and wrote something.
His hands were shaking but he still managed to keep his handwriting intact so Yuto wouldn’t think of anything when he reads it…
As he wrote the last words, “Forever yours, Yamada Ryosuke” he sealed it with tears. The paper was wet with his last tears and he continued to sob.
“I’m forever yours, Yuto Nakajima.” He said in between his sobs, as his voice was shaking. The pen fell from his hands and he smiled bitterly again. He almost ran out of time… he must do the last thing he needed to do now.
With his weak hands, he got his phone and typed. “Yuto, come to my house now.” when it was sent, he felt his heart drenched into the pit of hell. It hurts so much… knowing he was going to hurt the only guy that loved him… and the guy he loved the most.
After that, he slowly and silently went outside the house… and left the letter he wrote on the door. What he did was for the best for them. It may not be for the best for him, but it was for Yuto. With sad eyes, he looked at the house one last time. He smiled as he remembered his memories were filled with love and happiness.
He can now go… without regret.
***
Yuto came rushing to Yamada’s house was he received the text message from him. He bought strawberry cake again for they have not been together for three weeks. He was being jumpy for he was excited to meet him. To hug him, to snuggle beside him, to stay up all night with him, to watch their favorite movies together… and what he missed of all was to kiss him, like there’s no tomorrow.
He was surprised to see that the lights were off. Yama-chan must have been preparing to surprise him, eh? He thought and smiled.
As he made his way near the door, he noticed a paper lying on the step. He knotted his forehead and got it.
He smiled widely as he realized it was for him.. then he started reading.
Dear Yuto,
I won’t be calling you with -kun now although it means that I treasure you as senpai. First of all, I want to say thank you for everything you did to me. For loving me and for staying by my side…
I shall now leave and find my true happiness.
Don’t mistake it, Yuto. You are my happiness. But I am not the one that can completely make you happy. Believe me.
Until we meet again… I love you.
Forever yours,
Yamada Ryosuke.
The cake he bought dropped onto the floor as his tears dropped from his eyes and ran unto his cheeks. His sight was blurry now…
“No, this must be a joke. This is just a joke, right, Yama-chan?” he said he as tried to open the door. “Yama-chan!! Open the door! I am now here as what you said! Yama-chan!! Open up!!” he shouted as he continued to cry.
All of it were just lies. Yamada was just playing a prank on him… right?
He kicked the door and slammed his hands to it. “YAMA-CHAN! WHY DON’T YOU OPEN THE DOOR!?!?!” he shouted his lungs out. “Yama-chan…..” he said as he sat to the doorsteps.
“…why are you doing this to me…. You said you love right? You said that you love me forever…. Is this your forever Yama-chan? Why did you end it? Please come back Yama-chan…. You are my happiness….” He sobbed as he continued to beg like a little kid.
***
Yamada cried endlessly as he watched Yuto crying. It broke his heart so much…
He looked at the tree beside him as he carved, “The world is so cruel…” and continued to cry.
“The world is so cruel from us, Yuto… but I do love you.” He said as he closed his eyes and waited for his time…
The rain started to fall as it erased the tears that were on falling on his eyes.
***
Yuto looked up at the sky that was raining… it seemed like it was crying. It was crying with him.
“I love you Yama-chan… I will always do. What a cruel world indeed…” He whispered as he stood up and continued crying under the heavy rain.
***
~*Yosh! I was really stressed out from school and I felt like I couldn’t breathe so I decided to write. And I was depressed yesterday too and thought that the world is so cruel. XD and sorry, this is the result.. how can I do this to my precious bbs. ;____; but anyway, I hope you like this! ^^ Comments are always welcome!!
+ HikaNoo is coming up!
PS: I am still in my semi-hiatus so don’t ask me about my ongoing fics. Hehe. ^^v
Yamada’s heart was broken into pieces as he tried to digest in his mind what he had just heard from the doctor. He blinked, twice, thrice… and still…
“What was it, Kamenashi-sensei?” he asked as his voice stuttered. Fear was visible in his eyes. His hands were cold and shaking. He wanted the time to stop. If only that was the only thing that would prevent him from listening his doctor’s answer.
His doctor, Kamenashi Kazuya, looked at him with sadness covering his eyes and face. “I’m sorry Yama-chan… I couldn’t do anything about it anymore. Your cancer… was already in stage four. If only you had your check-up not too late….” Kame said with a very low voice.
Upon hearing those, he knew that he wasn’t dreaming at all. That was absolutely the reality in his life. What have he done to deserve that sickness? Of all, why does it must have to be the deadly cancer? He swallowed the lump in his throat and he tried to clear his vision and stared at his doctor.
“You have been so good to me, sensei. Thank you for all the things you did.” He said as he stood up.
“But-don’t lose hope, Yama-chan!” Kame tried to cheer him up.
He just smiled bitterly. And he whispered in his mind… the world is so cruel. The world is full of cruel things…
***
“Yama-chan~ Where are you now?” the cheerful voice of his boyfriend, Yuto Nakajima, was heard in his phone as he answered it. He tried his best to smile and think of him... his future with him.
“I’m at my house, Yuto.” He answered back, as he filled his voice with cheerfulness as well.
“What happened to the -kun?” he heard Yuto teased him on the other line.
He just smiled. This time, it wasn’t a forced one. But a tear still escaped from his eyes. “I miss you Yuto.” He said.
“I know~ I will be there in an hour!” Yuto said as he ended the call right then. He must have been hurrying now.
That was the kind of person Yuto is. A cheerful one. He was always thinking of positive things. Which is completely opposite from him. For the first time, he wished he was the same as Yuto. And he wondered, what would Yuto do if he was the one on his place? If he was the one diagnosed with cancer… and only left with a month to live.
***
The door bell rand endlessly so he hurriedly rushed to open the door. He knew it was Yuto so he prepared his most genuine smile for him.
“Yuto-“
“Happy birthday, Yama-chan!” Yuto shouted as soon as he opened the door for him. He was wearing that idiot-like hat, shaped as cake and with a candle on the middle with the words “Happy Birthday” pasted on it. His smile was priceless, probably one of the best he had ever seen. And of course, the strawberry cake that was prepared from him was there too.
He got teary-eyed the moment he realized what Yuto just did. It was his birthday, and he even forgot about it. The words “thank you” just stayed on his mouth.
“What? Won’t you even let me in?” Yuto asked as he pouted.
He smiled and blinked. “A-ah, yeah. Come in.”
Yuto went straight to the kitchen and put the cake to the dining table. He playfully went far from him and got something from his back.
“What are you planning this time?” he asked as he raised his eyebrow.
The other guy just giggled. He got his hands from his back and throws confetti.
He watched them as they fell onto the floor. The world is colorful… his life was colorful… but why did God take those things away from him? He stared at Yuto with sad eyes. Yes, this man…. This guy that he loves… will shortly be taken away from him too. Forever.
“What’s wrong?” Yuto asked as he came near to him in a second and touched his cheek. “Why is my precious Yama-chan sad?”
The tears he had been trying to hold in managed to escape. His throat already hurts just by stopping them. His tears… they fell endlessly as Yuto hugged him tightly.
“Y-yuto…” he said.
“Hmm?” Yuto asked lovingly as he broke their hug.
He looked straight to his honest eyes and swallowed hard. “I love you. Forever.”
Yuto smiled widely upon hearing it. “I love you too. Until forever ends…” he said as he slowly lowered his head for them to share a kiss.
He accepted that with all his heart. The soft lips he felt, was slowly kissing him lovingly and passionately… those lips he wouldn’t forget all his life…
They continued to share their kiss and stopped to look for air. Yuto stared at his lips and wiped something from it. “I couldn’t get enough of your kiss Yama-chan… It seems now you’re kissing me like there’s no tomorrow anymore.” Yuto said with a little tease.
He just smiled. “So… shall we eat the cake now? The strawberries were calling for me already.”
***
Three weeks had passed just like that. He filled those with sweet memories with Yuto. And of course, he did his best so his lover couldn’t notice a thing.
He smiled bitterly as he looked at the calendar. Almost all the days of the month of “May” was encircled with red pen. And, there was only 1 day left…
He turned to look at the mirror this time. He has gone weak. He had been losing weight drastically. His eyes lost its sparkle. And they were covered with dark circles. He had gone paler. And his hair… he had almost lost them all. He touched his head and some hair was on his palm. He sighed and put a cap on. The one that Yuto gave him.
He looked around his place and seemed like he was living in a haunted house. He was just glad Yuto was busy and he kept on stopping him from visiting.
He looked back at the table and got the pen. He looked at the blank crumpled paper and wrote something.
His hands were shaking but he still managed to keep his handwriting intact so Yuto wouldn’t think of anything when he reads it…
As he wrote the last words, “Forever yours, Yamada Ryosuke” he sealed it with tears. The paper was wet with his last tears and he continued to sob.
“I’m forever yours, Yuto Nakajima.” He said in between his sobs, as his voice was shaking. The pen fell from his hands and he smiled bitterly again. He almost ran out of time… he must do the last thing he needed to do now.
With his weak hands, he got his phone and typed. “Yuto, come to my house now.” when it was sent, he felt his heart drenched into the pit of hell. It hurts so much… knowing he was going to hurt the only guy that loved him… and the guy he loved the most.
After that, he slowly and silently went outside the house… and left the letter he wrote on the door. What he did was for the best for them. It may not be for the best for him, but it was for Yuto. With sad eyes, he looked at the house one last time. He smiled as he remembered his memories were filled with love and happiness.
He can now go… without regret.
***
Yuto came rushing to Yamada’s house was he received the text message from him. He bought strawberry cake again for they have not been together for three weeks. He was being jumpy for he was excited to meet him. To hug him, to snuggle beside him, to stay up all night with him, to watch their favorite movies together… and what he missed of all was to kiss him, like there’s no tomorrow.
He was surprised to see that the lights were off. Yama-chan must have been preparing to surprise him, eh? He thought and smiled.
As he made his way near the door, he noticed a paper lying on the step. He knotted his forehead and got it.
He smiled widely as he realized it was for him.. then he started reading.
Dear Yuto,
I won’t be calling you with -kun now although it means that I treasure you as senpai. First of all, I want to say thank you for everything you did to me. For loving me and for staying by my side…
I shall now leave and find my true happiness.
Don’t mistake it, Yuto. You are my happiness. But I am not the one that can completely make you happy. Believe me.
Until we meet again… I love you.
Forever yours,
Yamada Ryosuke.
The cake he bought dropped onto the floor as his tears dropped from his eyes and ran unto his cheeks. His sight was blurry now…
“No, this must be a joke. This is just a joke, right, Yama-chan?” he said he as tried to open the door. “Yama-chan!! Open the door! I am now here as what you said! Yama-chan!! Open up!!” he shouted as he continued to cry.
All of it were just lies. Yamada was just playing a prank on him… right?
He kicked the door and slammed his hands to it. “YAMA-CHAN! WHY DON’T YOU OPEN THE DOOR!?!?!” he shouted his lungs out. “Yama-chan…..” he said as he sat to the doorsteps.
“…why are you doing this to me…. You said you love right? You said that you love me forever…. Is this your forever Yama-chan? Why did you end it? Please come back Yama-chan…. You are my happiness….” He sobbed as he continued to beg like a little kid.
***
Yamada cried endlessly as he watched Yuto crying. It broke his heart so much…
He looked at the tree beside him as he carved, “The world is so cruel…” and continued to cry.
“The world is so cruel from us, Yuto… but I do love you.” He said as he closed his eyes and waited for his time…
The rain started to fall as it erased the tears that were on falling on his eyes.
***
Yuto looked up at the sky that was raining… it seemed like it was crying. It was crying with him.
“I love you Yama-chan… I will always do. What a cruel world indeed…” He whispered as he stood up and continued crying under the heavy rain.
***
~*Yosh! I was really stressed out from school and I felt like I couldn’t breathe so I decided to write. And I was depressed yesterday too and thought that the world is so cruel. XD and sorry, this is the result.. how can I do this to my precious bbs. ;____; but anyway, I hope you like this! ^^ Comments are always welcome!!
+ HikaNoo is coming up!
PS: I am still in my semi-hiatus so don’t ask me about my ongoing fics. Hehe. ^^v