Fic part 3 of 8
Johnson looked up from the report, one eyebrow raised enquiringly. ‘A performance artist disabled the security system at Madame Tussaud’s,’ he said, his tone one of someone is no longer surprised by anything. ‘Really?’
‘Uh, yes sir.’ Pippin answered, rocking on his heels slightly.
‘Well, we think so, sir,’ Eddie corrected. ‘We can’t actually confirm that, as the guy won’t talk.’
‘He won’t talk?’
‘At all.’
‘So you don’t know this for a fact then. Or why he was breaking in there in the first place?’
‘Uh, no, sir.’ Pippin stepped forward. ‘But taking into consideration his rather odd attire - ’
‘- and the fact that he’s making like a stature of a martyr or something -’
‘- leads us to conclude that he is, in fact, a performance artist.’
‘A nut-job performance artist.’
‘Well, you’ve got to be a bit strange to want to do it anyhow.’ Pippin nodded knowledgeably. ‘I mean who in their right mind wants to stand around for hours without moving a muscle? And have you seen some of the positions they put themselves into? Not comfortable. Not comfortable at all. And why do it? Some new age arty-farty rubbish - ’
‘Inspector Pippin!’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Have you quite finished?’
‘God, I hope so, Eddie interjected. Johnson stared at him. ‘Sorry, it’s been a long couple of days, I just wanna go home and sleep for twelve hours.’
‘Good idea, Detective. Take a day - no, make it two - days off, both of you. You look like you need it.’
Pippin’s face lit up. He grabbed Eddie’s arm and hustled him out of the Superintendent’s office.
‘What’s the rush?’ Eddie complained.
‘Nothing. Nothing. I just didn’t want you to say anything that might screw this up. Two days off! Did you hear the man? Two whole days.’
‘Your faith in me is touching.’ Eddie dragged his heels, smiling conspiratorially at the demure secretary behind the desk. ‘Hi, Miss Moneypenny.’
‘Hello, Detective,’ she replied, her voice smoky with the promise of sex.
‘Got any plans for the weekend?’
And, just like usual, Eddie felt his reality start to skew. He went willingly.
Miss Moneypenny stood up gracefully, a breeze making her tousled hair flutter and her tiny silk kimono cling to every curve of her body. She eased up against Eddie and smiled coyly. ‘A hot threesome involving silk ties and a great deal of body oil,’ she breathed. Eddie’s eyes glazed as his body reacted. He watched, bemused, as she swayed into Superintendent Johnson’s office and around the corner of his desk. She leaned over, her barely constrained breasts brushing his shoulder, and whispered something in his ear. Johnson smiled intimately at her, and then they both looked directly at Eddie. Eddie started to pant slightly as his vision changed. Johnson and Moneypenny were lying in rumpled white sheets, looking like something straight out of the very best porn. They were gorgeous, the contrast between the pale, delicate female body, and the muscled, chocolate-coloured sex god made his mouth water and he whimpered helplessly as the fantasy figures smiled encouragingly at him. Moneypenny beckoned seductively
Suddenly a confused expression crossed Moneypenny’s face and she knelt up and straddled a dismayed-looking Johnson. Eddie realised what was about to happen and grimaced in distaste, blinking rapidly to dispel the vision.
Pippin was tugging on his arm. ‘Dude! Are you even listening. I SAID, I need to go pee.’
‘Yeah, sure.’ Eddie allowed Pippin to drag him along the hall. ‘I’ll wait outside.’
Pippin looked at him meaningfully. ‘Eddie.’ Eddie looked at him curiously. Pippin looked around to see if anyone was paying attention. ‘I need you to come with me.’
‘Why? Are we twelve year old girls all of a sudden?’
‘I’ll tell you in a sec.’
He ducked into the bathroom, and Eddie followed reluctantly. As soon as Eddie was clear of the door, Pippin slammed it shut and flipped the lock.
‘Wha-?’ Eddie started to say but Pippin got up close and personal, his hand closing around Eddie’s undiminished erection.
‘Dude,’ Pippin breathed.
‘Hang on,’ Eddie protested.
‘Yes? Pippin asked. His hand tightened, and he licked a stripe from Eddie’s collar to his ear. Eddie’s head tilted back automatically to allow better access.
‘We shouldn’t do this,’ he managed.
‘Of course not. It’s a very bad idea, Pippin agreed. ‘Do you have any idea how hot you look when you’re turned on, though. Really, you shouldn’t even look at Ross; it’s like, Pavlovian with you, isn’t it?’ Pippin’s hand was groping Eddie shamelessly, his mouth nuzzling Eddie’s ear even as he mumbled, ‘and it’s getting worse. That erection you were sporting I’m sure was obvious clear across the hall. Obviously, it was my duty as your partner to spare you the embarrassment of having to walk around in public like that.’
‘So what you’re saying is, you’re just doing your duty by getting me off, is that it?’
‘You could put it that way. Or you could think of it as mates helping each other out if you like.’
‘Mates,’ Eddie gasped. Pippin’s hand had managed to undo his pants and was now working his bare flesh. Eddie’s head thudded against the wall; Pippin still crowding close and he finally brought his arms up and rested his hands on Pippin’s shoulders, gasping continuously as he got closer to the edge. Then Pippin growled and lightly bit his throat and Eddie whimpered and came. Pippin laughed softly and held him until he started to soften, then stepped back, looking curiously at his wet hand. He looked up, and Eddie watched, dazed, as Pippin lapped at the cream on his fingers.
'Oh god,' Eddie groaned.
‘Yes?’ Pippin grinned wickedly at him.
Slowly, Eddie put himself back together. He watched Pippin cross to the sinks and wash his hands as he zipped himself back up. ‘What about you?’
Pippin looked at him in the mirror. He smiled; a wicked, thoroughly dirty smile.
‘Oh, you can owe me.’ Pippin promised.