Fic: Torchwood/Keen Eddie crossover

[sarren]

Story Title: The REALLY Weird Case.
Author Name/LJ: sarren
Crossover Fandoms:Keen Eddie/Torchwood
Rating: PG
Notes: Written for the vintagemilitary challenge. Thank you to special_trille and zebra363 for beta reading.



The guy standing by the window was all chiselled good looks and blue eyes and pouty lips and standing way too close to Superintendent Johnson and Eddie didn’t like him at first sight.

‘Ah, Inspector Pippin, Detective Arlette, allow me to introduce you to Captain Jack Harkness.’ Johnson did that eyebrow quirk thing Eddie privately thought was really hot. ‘Captain Harkness is here about the report you filed yesterday.’

‘I’d like to hear more about this ‘funny looking guy’ you mentioned.’ Captain Harkness leant over Johnson’s shoulder to pick up the printout.

Eddie stared at him with narrowed eyes. Way too close, and Nathaniel didn’t seem to be having a problem with the new guy’s obvious lack of respect for people’s personal spaces.

‘About the guy we chased through the Portobello Road Markets?’

‘What made you decide to stop and question that particular man?’

‘A hunch. He just looked…’ Eddie paused, trying to recall exactly what had made him suspicious.

‘Dodgy.’ Pippin summed it up for him.

‘Dodgy.’ Captain Harkness repeated, sounding skeptical. ‘In what way?’

‘Well, the tail was kinda weird,’ Eddie said, goaded. He stared at Harkness pointedly. ‘What agency did you say you were from, anyway?’

The pretty mouth quirked in amusement. ‘Are you sure it was a tail?” He didn’t sound like he didn’t believe them, more like he was making sure he had his facts straight. And Eddie had absolutely not just had the thought that the new guy’s mouth was pretty.

‘No, we’re not sure.’ Pippin chipped in, rocking on his heels. ‘Because that’s just crazy, isn’t it? I told Eddie it was a mistake to include it in the report. It must have just been his belt or rope or something, right?’

Harkness straightened and strolled around the desk to perch on the edge in front of Eddie. He looked way too comfortable. ‘Maybe, maybe not,’ he said, smiling confidingly at Eddie. ‘Why don’t you tell me exactly what you remember?’

Eddie shrugged. ‘Not much to tell. Monty - Inspector Pippin - and I were following a lead about some recent burglaries in the Portobello Road area and I thought I saw some sort of flash of light in a doorway, and I turned to look and there was this guy. He had something in his hand, like one of those personal organiser things, and something about him didn’t look right. I walked towards him, and got maybe ten feet away when he looked up and saw me. Then he just took off. We chased him for about half a mile.’

‘And then we lost him. Turned a corner and he’d vanished.’ Pippin added. ‘Poof!’ he said, waving his hands,’ like magic!’

‘And the tail?’

‘Well, I only caught flashes of it, really, but his coat sort of flapped around like there was something moving under it.’ Eddie ran a hand through his hair. ‘You’re right, it does sound stupid.’

‘I didn’t say that.’ Captain Harkness exchanged a long look with Superintendent Johnson. Eddie fidgeted. He hated when people kept stuff from him. ‘What?’ he demanded.

Johnson rose to his feet and shook hands with the captain. He turned to Eddie. ‘You are off other cases for the moment. I’m assigning you to assist Captain Harkness for the duration of his visit to London.’

‘Great,’ Eddie said dryly.

Captain Harkness clapped him on the shoulder. ‘Glad you think so,’ he said, obviously choosing to ignore Eddie’s less than enthusiastic response. He steered Eddie towards the door. Eddie resisted the urge to shake the hand off, partly out of politeness, but mostly because he figured it’d look pretty undignified. ‘Tell me,’ Harkness said, leaning in, fingers tightening on Eddie’s shoulder, ‘where can we get a decent meal around here?’

Eddie stirred the sauce broodingly. He wasn’t sure how he’d ended up agreeing to cook dinner. Eddie had suggested the Thai place on Cockspur Street but then Pippin had helpfully decided to mention that Eddie liked to cook, and Captain Harkness had looked at him with such delight in those big blue eyes…

There was a burst of laughter from the lounge room. Apparently everyone was having a great time.

He left the sauce to simmer and went through to the other room. He leant in the doorway and just watched.

Harkness was sprawled comfortably on the sofa, Nigel and Fiona seated on either side of him like little bookends, eagerly hanging onto every word that fell from his lips.

‘…and that’s when it got really embarrassing,’ Harkness confessed, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

‘Oh, do tell us what happened next!’ begged Nigel, leaning in so close he was practically in the man’s lap.

‘Well, I had no idea where my clothes were, you see, so you can guess what happened next!’

‘You didn’t?’ gasped Fiona, looking enraptured. She looked like she was about to spontaneously orgasm, Eddie thought meanly, and then wondered why he was so bothered about the way they were fawning all over the man. Even Pippin looked amused, though he at least was sitting in an armchair, and not looking like he wanted to jump the guy’s bones.

The timer went off in the kitchen and Harkness looked up. He smiled broadly when he saw Eddie. ‘Anything I can do to help?’ he volunteered. ‘I set a mean table.’

‘Nah, it’s done. Come on through, grab a plate and help yourself. There’s the vegetarian option, and there’s real food.'

Harkness grinned. ‘You are talented,’ he said, and Eddie wondered if everything the man said came out sleazy, or if he was just getting paranoid. He watched as Harkness put a hand each on Fiona’s and Nigel’s knees to lever himself up, and how they smiled up at him.

Not paranoid.

‘I hear it’s the club to go to in London,’ insisted Harkness, laughing as helped himself to another drink from the cabinet. Nigel and Fiona had disappeared a while ago. School night, you know.

‘C’mon,’ he said . ‘It’ll be fun.’

‘Sounds great,’ Pippin agreed. ‘I’m up for it.’ Eddie shook his head. Of course he was. Pippin would fit right in.

‘Eddie?’ Two pairs of blue eyes looked at him hopefully.

‘No,’ Eddie said. Harkness looked disappointed. ‘No way,’ he said firmly. Just to be clear. ‘Absolutely not.’

Eddie put his hands over his ears in an attempt to block out the noise, but the pounding beat reverberated through his body. He’d lost sight of Harkness and Pippin half an hour ago - Harkness had shouted something about meeting them back at the bar and vanished slickly into the gyrating crowd. Monty had looked like all his Christmases had come at once, blatantly checking out the scantily clad women and Eddie suspected, the men too. Hell, sometimes it was hard to tell which was which, it was all leather and lycra and sweaty writhing bodies and it was fucking hot and there was a reason he avoided these places. He fought his way through the seething mass to the bar and ordered a pint. The bartender smiled at him coquettishly. Eddie nodded politely and turned to scan the crowd. Still no sign of the others. Great. At least the beer was good. He was just trying to decide whether to get another one - hell, it’s not like he was officially on duty - when a voice near his ear shouted, ‘dance with me.’

Eddie turned around to explain that he didn’t dance, thanks. Harkness was standing there, too close, his eyes twinkling at Eddie, his cowlick wet, a thin line of sweat running along his hairline. He was close enough that Eddie couldn’t help inhaling the sweaty musk of the man. He’d shed his coat and dress shirt somewhere and wore only a white t-shirt so tight it was stretched across his chest, his hard little nipples clearly outlined. Eddie cursed himself for noticing and quickly averted his eyes, willing himself not to be affected by the suddenly overpowering maleness of the man. Having Captain Jack Harkness’ undivided attention was unnerving. Jeez, could he turn it on and off like a switch?

‘Uh, no.’ God no. ‘Thanks,’ he added, determined to be polite.

Harkness smiled charmingly at him, and moved even closer. They were practically chest to chest now. Eddie shivered, his body starting to react despite himself, and only pride stopped him from trying to move back. Harkness’ eyes were focussed on Eddie’s mouth and he tilted his head slightly, slowly leaning forward. Eddie closed his eyes, his mouth parting. He licked his lips nervously. He felt breath on his lips as Harkness’ mouth hovered and he was just about to lean forward and end the suspense when he felt the lips slide along his cheek instead and a tongue traced his ear and god, he was all the way hard and he reached for Harkness and then the man whispered, ‘I’m being watched. Dance with me.’

It was like a punch in the face. His hands fell to his sides, and he forced himself not visibly react. He felt humiliated. He’d stupidly fallen for the man’s charm and given himself away and he didn’t really know this guy at all.

‘Sure, why not?’ he said flippantly, tossing back the last of his beer. He met Harkness’ eyes defiantly, expecting to see knowledge; amusement at his expense; prepared to deny everything.

Eddie’s mouth went dry. Harkness was staring at him with knowledge, all right, knowledge and hunger and lust, and it was out there for anyone to see. The man had no shame. He let Harkness take his hand and pull him into the crowd.

Eddie didn’t like the music, this trance-techno-house-whatfuckingever. He wasn’t going to be able to dance to it, and he felt awkward and conspicuous and then none of it mattered because Harkness wrapped his arms around him and it felt like he was completely surrounded. Harkness seemed to be swaying to some kind of beat of his own and Eddie relaxed despite himself and it was just so easy to move with him. Eddie tucked his head into Harkness’ sweaty neck and breathed him in deeply and closed his eyes.
He was vaguely aware of the bodies brushing up against his own as the crowd surged around them, but it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. At some point Harkness’ hands’d started languidly stroking his back, down his spine, and he didn’t flinch when they somehow found their way under his jacket, so that it almost felt like they were stroking skin, the thin fabric of his shirt hardly any barrier, and then no barrier at all - his shirt had been untucked somehow, he hadn’t noticed, and Harkness’ hands traced gentle patterns through the film of sweat on his back and edged under his waistband to slowly swirl along his tailbone, and jeez, he’d forgotten how good that could feel and he pressed closer, so that their hard-ons brushed against each other. He felt the other man exhale sharply against his ear.

‘Eddie,’ murmured Harkness, and Eddie leaned back a bit so that he could see his face. Harkness was smiling at him warmly, a more genuine expression than Eddie had seen on the man before. He looked like someone Eddie could…like.

To hell with it. Eddie kissed him, ignoring the voice in the back of his head demanding to know what he thought he was doing. He closed his eyes as Harkness’ mouth opened under his and then suddenly Eddie wasn’t the one in control anymore. Harkness kissed like someone who’d spent a lifetime perfecting the art, and Eddie held on tight and just tried to keep up.

Harkness pulled back enough to look searchingly at Eddie, his eyes shining with sincerity. ‘Eddie, right now, all I want to do is go home with you and fuck our brains out, but right now I’ve got to go to work.’

Eddie blinked, trying to clear the fog of lust from his brain. ‘I’ll come with you,’ he said.

‘Trust me,’ Harkness said. ‘This is something I need to do alone.’ He leaned forward and kissed Eddie hard. ‘I really hope we can pick up where we left off another time,’ he said, pulling away with obvious reluctance.

He turned and vanished. Eddie looked around, trying to see which way he’d gone, but the crowd had closed around him instantly and it was all a blur of seething bodies.

And then he saw Pippin, intermittently lit by the strobe lights, staring straight at him, a conspiratal grin on his face. He was looking cheerfully debauched, and as Eddie met his eyes Pippin raised the bottle of beer in his hand in a careless salute. Great. Eddie wandered back to the bar and ordered another beer. He couldn’t see any matchbooks on the counter so when the same bartender from before sashayed past Eddie waved him over, and asked if they had any. The guy looked a bit doubtful but wandered off apparently in search of one. Eddie sipped his beer.

Pippin appeared at his shoulder, looking even more rumpled up close, and running his fingers through his sweat darkened blond hair. ‘Ready to go, mate?’

Eddie held up his glass. ‘Gimme a minute.’

‘Are you waiting for Harkness to come back? Cos I’m pretty sure I saw him head out a while ago.’ Pippin looked at him sympathetically. ‘Sorry, dude,’ he said.

Eddie refused to blush. He finished up his beer and turned to go. Which is when the bartender returned with a matchbook garishly decorated with the club logo. ‘Call me anytime, honey,’ he said, pressing the book into Eddie’s hand firmly, stroking his palm as he slowly drew his hand away. He sauntered off. Pippin eyed his retreating arse assessingly.

‘Niice,’ he said approvingly.

He snatched the matchbook out of Eddie’s hand before he could put it away and flipped it open, holding it up to show the phone number written in it. ‘I’m impressed,’ he said earnestly.

Eddie glared at him and snatched the book back, pocketing it.

‘No, really, Eddie, I never knew you had it in you,’ Pippin leered.

‘Don’t,’ Eddie warned.

Pippin opened his mouth and then appeared to think better of it. ‘Seriously dude, we’re cool, right?’

Eddie stared at his partner’s worried face. Pippin was a good guy. ‘We’re cool,’ Eddie assured him.

‘We should really get going, yeah?’ Pippin said clearly relieved. ‘Big day tomorrow.’

‘I can’t get over how excited you are about this,’ Eddie smiled, as they made their way to the exit.’ No, really, it’s cute.’

Pippin glared at him. Eddie smirked.

‘Harriet Jones, Prime Minister,’ she announced, holding out her hand.

‘Ma’am,’ Pippin said respectfully.

‘Pleased to meetcha!’ Eddie said, shaking her hand maybe a little too firmly. She smiled at him vaguely and stepped past him.

‘Captain Harkness, good to see you,’ she greeted him, real warmth in her voice.

‘Prime Minister,’ Harkness responded, shaking her hand briskly. ‘Have the security procedures I advised been undertaken?’

‘Indeed. Would you care to oversee the arrangements?’

‘Certainly. I just need to check that this room is secure.’ Harkness pulled something out the pocket of his greatcoat. Eddie couldn’t see what it was from where he was standing but the PM gestured expansively and went to sit down behind her desk.

Eddie nudged Pippin. ‘I thought she’d be taller,’ he needled. Pippin looked at him out of the corners of his eyes but didn’t say anything.

Harkness slowly circled the room, the device in his hand. Eddie and Pippin had to shuffle out of the way when he got to them, his eyes fixed firmly on the mysterious device with its flashing blue light. Eddie glanced at his partner, firmly repressing his smirk in deference to the company. Pippin rolled his eyes at him meaningfully.

‘It’s clean,’ Harkness announced eventually.

‘Good, good,’ the PM nodded. Harkness folded himself into a chair in front of the PM’s desk, his long loose limbs elegantly arranged, despite the too small chair.

‘So, what are my chances of surviving this? she asked bluntly.

Eddie exchanged startled glances with Pippin. It was the first they’d heard about a threat to the PM’s life. Automatically, he looked around the room, checking access points and potential hiding places, even though Harkness had clearly just done a thorough check.

He looked back at the PM, who appeared composed and unafraid. She and Harkness were deep in discussion regarding her schedule, Harkness arguing that she remain in the building under tight security. The PM was calmly refusing, insisting that she had important matters of state that couldn’t be put off.

Finally Harkness sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, leaving bits sticking out that still managed to look as though they’d been carefully styled that way.

‘If anything’s going to happen, it’ll happen in the next two days,’ he said. ‘I’m afraid I’ll have to stick close to you for the moment.’ He smiled charmingly at her.

‘If you think that’s necessary.’ Harriet Jones, Prime Minister, blushed a little as she returned his smile.

My God, was nobody immune to this guy’s shtick?

The attack, when it came, was surprisingly straightforward. A single shot from a sniper as the PM emerged from her vehicle. Eddie swung around, his surroundings distorting oddly as time slowed, heart in his throat as he realised that it was over, that there was no way to prevent the bullet reaching its target, and then blinked in stunned disbelief as Harkness crumpled to the ground, eyes staring blindly at the sky.

He stumbled to his knees beside the fallen man and pressed shaking fingers to his throat, already knowing that it would be useless, feeling oddly numb.

There was a tightness in his chest and he had to force himself to breathe evenly, even as he knelt by the body, scanning the nearby windows and roofs for any signs of the gunman. Peripherally, he was aware that Jones had been hustled through the doorway of No. 10 surrounded by security guards; that she was out of immediate danger.

‘See anything?’ Pippin was crouched on the other side of the vehicle.

‘Nothing. You?’

‘Not a thing.’

‘I reckon he’s long gone.’

‘I agree. How’s Harkness?’

‘Dead.’

‘Shit.’ Pippin sounded upset. There was silence for a moment, the approaching sirens sounding weirdly removed. ‘Brave bastard, though.’ Even Pippin’s voice sounded distant. ‘He deliberately took that bullet, did you see?’ his partner said admiringly.

‘Yeah.’ Eddie holstered his gun and started to stand up. And nearly fell over when a hand grabbed his arm, fingers digging in painfully. He had to put his other hand on the ground to brace himself, and ended up crouched over Harkness’ body, face to face with blue eyes that were staring intently at him.

‘Jesus,’ Eddie swore vehemently. His hands went to Harkness’ shirt, to expose the wound, to administer aid - ignoring the little voice in the back of his head which was reminding him that the man had been dead just a second ago.

Hands closed tightly over his own as he ripped open the bloody shirt to discover…nothing.

No wound. Eddie stared at the unmarked skin in disbelief.

‘Eddie.’ Harkness’ voice was insistent, for all that it was barely a whisper. He looked up into compelling blue eyes.

Gravel crunched nearby and Harkness sat up, pulling his greatcoat closed and hunching in on himself.

‘Jesus.’ Eddie glanced up briefly. Pippin was staring at Harkness, wide-eyed. ‘Not dead, then.’

‘Thank god for bulletproof vests,’ Harkness joked, but his eyes as he stared at Eddie were coolly assessing..

Eddie’s mind whirled. He tried to think of a logical explanation for what he’d seen but - Harkness had been dead. And he’d come back to life.

And then the paramedics arrived and he watched Harkness turn on the charm, watched him explain sheepishly that he was fine, that he’d gotten a blood nose when he’d thrown himself to the ground, watched as everyone smiled and laughed with relief and he turned, needing to get away.

‘Going somewhere, Detective Arlette?’ asked Superintendent Johnson.

‘I think that takes care of everything,’ Johnson said, tucking their completed reports into his fancy briefcase and putting down by the side of the chair. ‘Can I get anybody another drink?’ He stood up.

‘Sure.’ Eddie held up his empty glass, feeling strangely off balance as Nathaniel smiled warmly down at him as he took it, their fingers brushing. Eddie’s fingers tingled. God, the man was gorgeous. He couldn’t help watching him as he walked over to retrieve Pippin’s glass.

‘You’re probably wondering why we’re doing this here,’ Harkness said, sounding amused. Eddie jerked his eyes away from Nathaniel’s arse guiltily. Harkness winked at him.

‘Is it just me, or does that sound a bit sinister?’ Pippin wondered.

‘Now that you mention it, it does seem kinda weird,’ Eddie agreed. He looked around the immaculate apartment. ‘It’s not like Nathaniel makes a habit of inviting me - us--’ he said, recovering, ‘over for drinks.’

‘We decide this would be the best place.’

‘For what?’

‘To drug your drinks.’ Harkness said calmly. For a moment Eddie’s mind refused to register the words. Harkness couldn’t have said-

‘What the hell?’ he heard Pippin exclaim, an edge of panic in his voice, but he didn’t turn to look at him.

‘Oh, don’t worry,’ Harkness said reassuringly, ‘it’s just an amnesia pill. You’ve seen too much, unfortunately. But you’ll be fine, I promise.’

‘Fine?’ echoed Pippin hysterically in the background.

Harkness was regarding at him steadily. God, it was true. Eddie leapt to his feet, and stood over him, fists clenched.

Harkness looked up at him. He was still sprawled in the armchair, his whisky glass dangling loosely from his fingers, relaxed and inviting and his clothes just slightly disarranged and Eddie cursed himself for his body’s traitorous reaction, even as he hated the man for his cool disregard.

‘I’m truly sorry about this,’ Harkness said, getting to his feet. He did look remorseful. He reached towards Eddie. Eddie stepped backwards involuntarily and Harkness’ hand dropped to his side.

‘Why are you doing this?’

‘Policy.’ Johnson’s voice. ‘Need to know.’ Eddie had forgotten he was there.

‘You’re in on this,’ Eddie said flatly. He felt doubly betrayed.

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

‘I used to work for Torchwood when it was based in London. After the invasion…’ Johnson pursed his lips a little. ‘It was felt that I could be of more use working with Scotland Yard.’

‘Torchwood?’

‘We’re a secret organisation that protects the Earth from alien invasion.’ Harkness said.

The guy with the tail. Eddie sank back onto the sofa, stunned at the implications. He felt the cushion beside him move as Pippin sank down next to him.

Harkness sat forward in his chair. ‘Look, it’s not that we don’t trust you guys, it’s just, there’s too much at stake, and even knowing as much as you do is putting your lives in danger.’

‘Surely that’s our choice to make?’ Eddie asked desperately. He was starting to feeling tired. He stirred, thinking that he should really get up, leave, something.

‘Please don’t try to leave.’ Harkness put a hand on his knee. ‘You’ll fall asleep soon, and it will all be over.’

‘No,’ Eddie pleaded. Pippin slumped against his shoulder, out for the count. Eddie fought to keep his eyes open. ‘No,’ he mumbled. His eyes closed, and he felt his head tip until it rested against Pippin’s.

‘Aww, look how cute they look,’ he thought he heard Harkness say from a vast distance away.

Eddie yawned, stretched and slowly opened his eyes. His head felt…muzzy. He rolled over and sat up, rubbing his eyes. Had he been drinking? He couldn’t remember.

He couldn’t remember.

Hell. He shrugged into the nearest clothes and stumbled into the kitchen.

‘Good morning, sunshine.’ Fiona greeted him cheerfully.

‘What happened?’ he moaned.

‘Your handsome Inspector brought you home drunk at three am.’ She handed him a mug of coffee and he sipped it gratefully. ‘You were asleep in his arms, all snuggled up.’ She wrinkled her nose at him. ‘It was cute. Really. He said to tell you how impressed he was by your singing voice.’ Fiona leaned forward confidingly, ‘I think he was being sarcastic.’

Eddie pulled out a chair and started to ease into it.

‘Also,’ Fiona added, brightly, ‘he asked me to make sure you weren’t late for work.’

Eddie froze.

‘Oops.’

Eddie glared at her. Fiona smiled sweetly.

He stood up again and went to get his jacket ‘Oh, by the way, it’s really nice of you letting Pete sleep on your bed like that,’ he said, shrugging it on. ‘It’s nice that you’re not bothered by the fleas and all.’ Not his best effort, but his heart wasn’t in it this morning.

It succeeded in wiping the smile off her face, though. ‘If your mangy mutt has given my Princess fleas,’ she started.

Eddie grinned at her.

‘Oh…you…you…’ . She flounced off. He felt better already.

Eddie ducked into the hallway. His keys weren’t on the stand. He checked his pockets. There. He drew out the keys and…a matchbook? He stared at it, trying to remember why it seemed familiar…there was something…warm blue eyes…the feel of a hard sweaty body against his…oh god, what had he done?

And why couldn’t he remember?