너의 세상으로 (Into Your World) [2/2]
NOVEMBER, BAEKHYUN
It was the 27th. Today was Chanyeol's birthday and he was inviting some friends over for dinner.
Baekhyun was nervous because first, this was the first time Chanyeol invited his friends over since Baekhyun started living with him. Second, what if said friends don't approve of him? And third, which makes him worried as well as depressed, was that he still doesn't have a gift for Chanyeol.
He was walking home from the grocery store, remembering what Chanyeol told him last night.
"Don't worry too much about them. They'll eat anything. Especially Jongin and Sehun, they're monsters that will devour anything in their path." Chanyeol patted Baekhyun's head reassuringly.
"But how about Kyungsoo? and the other one.. LuHan?"
"Kyungsoo... he's a tough little cookie but he's just that. Little. Much the same as you." Chanyeol teased. "He has his diva moments but he usually reserves it for Jongin. As for LuHan, he's the nicest of the lot. Older than us dwerbs, so you'll have no problem with him."
"I'm just not so sure about this."
"They're gonna love you. Well, not as much as I do."
Baekhyun felt a twinge in his heart while recalling those words. That's why he was upset that he couldn't find a gift for Chanyeol. His boyfriend already gave so much to him and he was afraid that he couldn't give something as special in return. He didn't really want to use Chanyeol's money for his present. He thought of making something, but what? Chanyeol seemed content with whatever he has and the only other thing important to him was his guitar. He's been thinking about it for more than two months now but he still came up with nothing. He would just have to... He was surprised to see that he was already at the dorm's doorstep. He entered and looked at the clock. He has 3 hours to prepare the food for Chanyeol and his friends.
It's now 7 pm and Baekhyun thought he already wore out the floor in front of the door with his pacing. He just received a call from Chanyeol who told him that he was on his way home with his friends. They would arrive any minute now. Just then the door opened and Chanyeol and his friends spilled in from the doorway.
"Baekhyunnie! I'm hoooooome." Chanyeol half shouted, half sang his greeting. Chanyeol went to his side and put his arm around Baekhyun's shoulders. "Meet my friends. That brownie with a limp is Jongin, the little boy beside him is Kyungsoo. That lost looking puppy's Sehun and of course, the beautiful Luhan." The beautiful one made a face at Chanyeol's description of him. "You guys, meet the one, the only Baekhyun of my life."
Baekhyun flushed with Chanyeol's introduction. "Nice to meet you all."
Kyungsoo, the little guy, looked at Baekhyun from head to toe. "Well, I don't know what Chanyeol did but you're too good for him." He said which earned him a mock glare from Chanyeol.
"I smell food." Jongin said.
"Wow, Real classy, Jongin." Kyungsoo said with a lift of his eyebrow.
"What? You don't smell it? And besides this sore waist, I've been enduring the sound of Sehun-ah's growling stomach all the way here. I wonder how Luhan can stand it." His statement was punctuated with the said stomach's growl. Sehun smiled shyly and moved closer to Luhan.
Baekhyun smiled at the group of friends. "We can actually eat now. I've prepared a lot so just dig in."
"Thank you." Luhan said. He looked to be the calmest of them all. He walked towards the dining table with Sehun close behind him. Kyungsoo turned to Jongin and held on to the latter's waist and guided him to the table. Apparently the short guy with the sassy mouth has a soft spot for Jongin.
"Thanks." Chanyeol whispered into Baekhyun's ear as they joined the others at the table.
Baekhyun had fun listening to the stories the guys told. They were so spontaneous and boisterous that Baekhyun felt comfortable speaking and laughing with them in no time. He also found it interesting to study each one's habits and personalities. Kyungsoo, putting aside his big eyes and ever raised eyebrows, was actually a softie who liked to take care of people around him. Often asking Jongin if he felt comfortable or if he wants something to eat, Baekhyun felt that Kyungsoo has complicated feelings for Jongin who seemed happiest when he was being taken cared of by Kyungsoo. Sehun, on the other hand, wears his heart on his sleeves and anybody can tell that he was in love with Luhan. But Luhan treats him as a little brother.
And then there's Chanyeol. Who laughs the loudest and bangs his hand on the table in time with his laughter. He's a year older now and he seemed different but still the same. I love you a lot. Baekhyun thought. Chanyeol leaned towards him and whispered, “You’re quiet."
"It's nothing. I just love your friends."
"I love you more. Thanks for cooking for us. Everything's great. And thanks for making them feel at home. They don't show it but they like you alot."
"I'm glad. They're great people. I'm happy that you have them."
"You know what would really make me happy?" Chanyeol leaned even closer."If you would come a bit closer, I'll show you."
Mesmerized, Baekhyun moved closer. He saw Chanyeol's lips moving nearer his own. Closer, closer...
"Ahem! Cough. Cough!" Jongin playfully coughed.
"Kids it's getting late, we should probably leave." Kyungsoo said with a smirk.
Baekhyun blushed. He almost forgot that there were people in the room. It was Chanyeol's fault. Chanyeol was just grinning from ear to ear, not one bit embarrassed.
"But before we go, we'll give you our present." Luhan handed Chanyeol a small box.
"Shucks, guys, you shouldn't have."
"I told them we shouldn't have," Kyungsoo said."But they insisted. So there, I have to buy thicker ear plugs after this."
Chanyeol opened the tiny box and inside was a guitar pick. It was expensive looking and engraved with 찬열, his name in hangul. "I don't know what to say. Thank you!"
Baekhyun said goodbye and watched as Chanyeol hugged his friends and walked with them to the door. When Luhan took out the gift, he was reminded that he still doesn't have one for Chanyeol. He sighed. He again felt down and disappointed with himself.
He was gathering the plates and the discarded cake box on the table when Chanyeol approached him. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"It's not nothing. I heard you sigh all the way to the door. What's the matter?" Chanyeol held on to Baekhyun's shoulders which forced him to look at Chanyeol.
"It's just that you're friends gave you that guitar pick. And I don't have anything to give to you. You've given me so much and I can't even give you a proper birthday present."
"That's what's bothering you? That you don't have a present for me?" Chanyeol laughed.
"You know, it's not that funny." Baekhyun said sulkily.
"It is funny. I don't care if you never buy me a gift as long as we live. Having you with me is enough."
"It is?" Baekhyun was still unsure.
Chanyeol rolled his eyes at Baekhyun. He saw the gold ribbon from the cake box on top of the table and grabbed it. Baekhyun's eyes rounded when Chanyeol tied the ribbon loosely around Baekhyun's neck. "There. The best birthday present ever!"
Baekhyun wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. "You make it too easy for me."
"Make what easy?"
"Loving you." And Baekhyun raised up on his toes and gave him the kiss he wanted to give Chanyeol earlier.
Chanyeol broke the kiss and whispered. "Second best birthday present ever." Then he leaned down again to get the third.
FEBRUARY, CHANYEOL
Chanyeol was holding Baekhyun's hand as they were walking home from a coffee shop that weekend. The streets were wet because of the light rain earlier which gave him the perfect excuse to huddle closer to his boyfriend. They stopped and waited at the bus stop. Chanyeol saw Baekhyun look closer at a poster. Curious, he leaned for a look, too.
ON CALL FOR AUDITIONS... MARCH 17 AT...
WE NEED BAND PLAYERS (VOCALS, GUITAR, DRUMS, ETC)
SCOUTED AND BE PART OF THE NEXT BIG NAME IN KPOP...
VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT...
Chanyeol saw Baekhyun gaze at him. "You should audition."
"Me?"
"Yes, you. It's your chance. Why not take it?"
"Why not? You know how people react when I play. My friends all wanted to receive earplugs from me for Christmas."
"You know they were just funning you. I hear you play everyday. You are great!"
"You're saying that cause you're my boyfriend." Chanyeol shook his head.
"I'm saying it cause you have the talent. All you need is a little more practice. That's all." When Chanyeol didn't respond, Baekhyun held on to his hand and said, “Please try this once. Do it for me."
Now how can Chanyeol possibly say no to that? "Alright, but if I don't get it in, don't be too disappointed."
He did get through to the first round of auditions. It was mostly because of Baekhyun's help. Chanyeol almost gave up a lot of times during his practice but Baekhyun was always there to cheer him up. Now he was set to go through the final round by the first week of May. He doesn't really know how Baekhyun could stand his playing of the guitar everyday. Even he sometimes feels he'd had enough. But Baekhyun was always there hovering over him, bringing him food when he's hungry and massaging his hands very night before going to sleep. He loved those moments the most when Baekhyun lovingly soothes his sore fingers. Just like tonight, he was lying in bed exhausted and his hands were really tired from practicing that complicated guitar piece. Baekhyun was sitting beside him on the bed, massaging them. He was drifting off to sleep when he heard Baekhyun sing for the first time.
neol saranghage dwaebeorin nan ije deo isang
I have come to love you now
doragal goshi eobseoyo
There’s no place for me to go back
nalgaereul geodwogasyeotjyo
My wings have been taken away
yeongwonhan sarmeul irheotdaedo haengbokhan iyu
Even if I lost eternal life, the reason why I’m happy
naui yeongwon ijen geudaeinikka
Is because my forever is now you
Chanyeol lay there transfixed by his voice. He turned his head towards Baekhyun. "Your voice... You really are an angel, aren't you?" Chanyeol shook his head with the absurdity of what he said. "How come I've never heard you sing before?"
"I sing to you, every night."
"When? When I'm asleep? That doesn't count. I can't believe it. You should've done the audition. If they heard you sing, you'll probably be famous by now. You'll have a lot of fans chasing after you, good-looking fans following you and getting your number and it's actually great you didn't audition." Chanyeol finished. He thought himself selfish but he couldn't bear the thought of sharing Baekhyun with the world. But then didn't Baekhyun encourage him to audition? Wouldn't he be jealous if he was the one being chased by screaming fans?
"Wouldn't you be jealous if I was being chased by screaming fans?" Chanyeol had to know.
"I would be. Especially with them screaming they love you. I'll get jealous when you get famous and all the world adores you. But I love you more than all of their love combined so I wouldn't care about them... that much."
Chanyeol sat up. "I'd gladly give up the fame if it meant that you'll never have to worry about me casting you aside. But I'm getting way over myself. I haven't even won yet. What if it's you who decides to leave me if I don't win and you find out that I really am a loser."
"Never gonna happen." Baekhyun promised.
MAY, BAEKHYUN AND CHANYEOL
Time went by so fast that it was finally the day of the audition finals and Baekhyun may be more nervous than Chanyeol. He already polished Chanyeol's guitar until it shone but he wanted to polish it again just to have something to put his hands on to stop them from shaking. He was waiting for Chanyeol to get dressed. "What is taking you so long?"
he heard the tall boy laugh from inside their room. "Your evil side is showing. Patience is a virtue. I'm gonna be out in a while."
Baekhyun felt his head spin and had to sit down and close his eyes to steady himself. He heard Chanyeol move closer.
"Baekhyun, are you alright? You look so pale." Chanyeol placed his hand on Baekhyun's forehead. "You're feverish! Let's get you to the doctor!" Chanyeol tried to pick him up and carry him but Baekhyun refused.
"What? You're burning up. Damn the audition, I have to get you to the hospital!"
"There's no need. I'm just kind of tired. Maybe it's because of the late nights I was keeping. I just need a little rest and I'll be fine. Don't worry. But you have to hurry or you'll be late."
"Do you really think I'll leave you when you're like this?" Chanyeol asked.
"What I think is that you should get going or you'll miss the bus. And if you do, then you'll not be able to win and I'd have been sick for nothing." Baekhyun tried to make Chanyeol feel guilty.
"But Baekhyun-ah...”
"I'll never forgive myself if you miss this chance because of me. Chanyeol, please."
Chanyeol finally gave up. "I'll go, but promise me you'll call me as soon as you feel worse. Promise me."
"I will, I promise." Baekhyun said softly. Chanyeol helped settle Baekhyun into bed.
"I promise I'll win today so when I come back home be sure that you'll be better so we can celebrate. Okay?" Chanyeol patted Baekhyun's head and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll be back before you know it."
"Be careful. Goodluck."
Chanyeol waved for the last time and left. Now, all Baekhyun can do is wait.
Chanyeol was still worried as he was walking to the bus stop. This was the first time Baekhyun got sick and he really didn't know what to do. "Stupid contest." he muttered. He'd rather stay home and take care of his boyfriend but he promised Baekhyun that he would win so he would really have to win. He planned to give his trophy as a gift for Baekhyun's birthday. Damn! He actually forgot to greet Baekhyun! He was supposed to do it when he came out of the room but he forgot to when he saw how pale Baekhyun was. He wanted to greet Baekhyun and get that good luck kiss, well a better good luck kiss, before he goes to the contest. Chanyeol looked at his watch. 11:24 am. He still got time. Chanyeol smiled to himself and ran.
Baekhyun was drenched in sweat. His heart was going on at a hundred miles an hour. He couldn't breathe. Something was gonna happen. Something bad. He knew it to the depths of his soul. He had to get out. He had to go somewhere. He doesn't know what's happening but he has to go to Chanyeol. He stood up shakily and glanced at the wall clock. 11:24 am. "Chanyeol..." Baekhyun went out the door and he ran.
Baekhyun ran and ran. The one thing on his mind was to get to Chanyeol so everything would be alright and he would be able to breathe again. He slowed down a little when he reached the main street. There were people everywhere. There were the sounds of police and ambulance sirens. Everybody was talking at the same time. It was a miracle that he even heard what they were talking about as his heartbeat was thundering in his ears.
"Poor boy," A woman to the left said. "They said he just tried to help the lady being robbed."
"You're right. He was so young." Another woman said.
"It was a close range shot through the chest." said a man at Baekhyun's left.
"No! No no no!" Baekhyun pushed his way through the crowd. "No!"
He saw the guitar case first and he knew. He moved closer and saw Chanyeol's prone body. He ran towards him but he was held back by a policeman. "Please, I have to get to him. I know him. Please, officer.. You don't understand." Baekhyun pleaded some more. "Please, sir. He needs me.. I need him.. I need him, please."
"I'm sorry, son, but he's gone." But maybe because he knew nothing else can be done, the officer let Baekhyun pass. Baekhyun knelt beside Chanyeol and touched his face. The face he loved so much. He let his fingers touch Chanyeol's lifeless lips. He really couldn't see clearly past the tears clouding his vision. "Chanyeollie," he said brokenly. "My Chanyeol..."
Baekhyun closed his eyes and prayed.
"Father, please save him. Let him live. Didn't I give everything up for him? This life.. it's no life at all if he's not in it. All I ever wanted was to be near him. Why give me this happiness, this love if it would just be snatched away from me? Please give him back to me." Baekhyun cried.
"Child, there are some things that has to happen. Things we didn't expect and things we don't want."
"Please, I'll do anything. I'll give anything. Me. Take me instead. I'll give up everything all over again. You don't even have to give him to me anymore... Just give him his life back."
"Are you sure that this is what you want?"
"Yes."
"You do know that you will lose everything?"
"I do. I do...”
"If this is what will make you happy, I will give it to you. But once I do, I will not be able to take it back. You can never come back."
"I understand." Baekhyun's heart was breaking into even smaller pieces even before he was told the last condition. It already broke in half when he saw Chanyeol lying on the ground. But what does it matter when Chanyeol could have his life back? Even if the life would be without Baekhyun.
"When he returns, he'll have no memory of you. He wouldn't know who you are; the time you spent together would be erased. It's as if you never existed."
Baekhyun's tears fell for the last time for the blissful days they shared that would never be and the nights in each other’s arms that never were.
MAY, CHANYEOL
Chanyeol was whistling on his way home from the contest. He couldn't believe he won. They said they were going to sign him up and he would start training by next month. He was so happy, he hugged his guitar to his chest. He reached his dorm room and hesitated a bit before he entered. Lately, he felt so alone whenever he was inside. He really couldn't understand it because he has been living alone for the past few years and he had never felt this way. Not until last year when he walked through the park nearby and he felt the same emptiness. As he placed his guitar on the sofa, his eyes came upon the desk calendar.
MAY 6
His eyes clouded and the tears fell.